Wasting the next three months of my life. Watch

Johnny 5
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Okay. The exams have finished. I thought that, once this happened, I would finally have the time to do all the things I always wanted to do, but never had the chance to; sadly, I recently came to realise that I, in fact, had zero clue as to what these things actually were.

I have a few of my old ideas below; please add some. I have a long time.

1. Not writing a novel.

This has been an idea of mine for several years now: sitting down to painstakingly and carefully fail to write the great British classic novel. Unlike its more highly-regarded cousin, "writing a novel", this requires little to no work on my part. It does, however, allow me to cultivate a literary air about myself (by growing my hair long, say), and gives me a perfect topic of conversation when seeing friends afterwards.

"What did you do this summer?"
"I was going to write a novel, but didn't."
"Why not?"
etc.

2. Undertake paid employment

3. Spend summer on TSR.

Win back my Member of the Month award. And my Comedian of the Year award. Then go to university, and introduce myself as "2 + 2 = 5! From that website! You know?", and then watch as the ladies come flocking, marvelling at the size of my reputation bar. Personally, I only hope that they form an orderly queue. I wouldn't want injuries.

4. Create a plausible alibi for an eventful summer break.

Get together with a couple of friends, and devise the plan for the perfect summer, and the most exciting holiday of our lives. Then remember that we don't actually have anywhere near the money to undertake even a day of what we had planned. Thus, we instead disappear for a fortnight to photoshop pictures of ourselves into a Las Vegas backdrop, and return with stories to make us the envy of friends and colleagues. Infallible.

5. Watch the Paramount Comedy Channel for three months straight.

ie, learn every episode of Frasier off by rote.

6. Write frequent and irritating letters to the leaders of major political parties, public corporations, football teams, etc.

...to ask them if they have any ideas.

7. Build and maintain a bonfire using my old college material.

You might be able to see why I have problems: these ideas are my best. If anyone wishes to offer me some job tasting wine overseas, or has any idea whatsoever to momentarily lessen the cycle of mindless tedium that has become my life, I beg them to put it forward now.

I post this in Chat because you people have the best ideas, and the most original by far; unlike in H&R, I guarantee that it will take at least four posts for someone to suggest "getting laid".
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Eternity Forever
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Errm, number 7 would contribute to pollution. Try recycling your college material. I think number 4 is a very good idea!
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sophisti_kate
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:rolleyes: I severely doubt one bonfire will hurt the environment...try campainging against China, if you're that worried...
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bluenoxid
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Try number 2, honestly, the mind numbing boredom of checkout work and shelfstacking is very rewarding :lol:
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Johnny 5
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(Original post by mysterious lady)
Errm, number 7 would contribute to pollution. Try recycling your college material. I think number 4 is a very good idea!
Actually, number 4 gives me an idea. The Great Fictional TSR Summer Break, where we each pretend to stay at each other's houses, and make up stories about what went on. Same outward appearance, one billionth of the cost. Brilliant.
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ImperceptibleNinja
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Sleep is always fun, so long as you don't have a house full of people making unnecessary noise.

Tree climbing could be a nice challenge, escecially if you can find a tree that has no branches or notable features for the first 4 metres. You can also incorporate unleashing your inner child, and finding out what hospital's like.

Learning to juggle is also a challenge. If you use knives/chainsaws/fire, you can once again incorporate those merry hospital visits.

Play word games. Creating/finding mixed metaphors is rather fun, for example, 'The golden carrot at the end of the tunnel'.

Eat unhealthy food, it's rather good so long as you supress your conscience.

Draw faces on your knees and walk around wearing shorts, watching to see what people do.

Play chess against yourself and enjoy winning.

[Edit: revamp your vocabulary to include the excessive use of 'I say!', 'Pip-pip', 'Toodleoo!', 'Old chap', 'Rather', and any other spiffing words/phrases you can think of.]
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Johnny 5
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(Original post by ImperceptibleNinja)
Draw faces on your knees and walk around wearing shorts, watching to see what people do.
I like this one. I can pretend that they are my friends, and ward off unwanted social contact.

Play chess against yourself and enjoy winning.
I've tried this. I always lose.
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Evil-Tuna
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I'd go with 1, but write do your autobiography. (is that the one where you write it yourself?) I would buy it.

And then probably use it on a bonfire of my own.
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Johnny 5
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(Original post by Evil-Tuna)
I'd go with 1, but write do your autobiography. (is that the one where you write it yourself?) I would buy it.

And then probably use it on a bonfire of my own.
Seeing as you're burning it anyway, could you guarantee a bulk order now? Two, three hundred thousand? I need it to get the publishers interested. Cheers.
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ImperceptibleNinja
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You can draw faces on your fingertips as well, but make sure you use a permanant marker so that you don't leave a little trail of faces everywhere.

Burning things, when done carefully and safely, is also pretty entertaining. It's also very smelly, so only set fire to stuff in a well-ventilated space. Things to burn: orange peel, bits of plant, siblings, nasty food...
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sophisti_kate
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(Original post by ImperceptibleNinja)
You can draw faces on your fingertips as well, but make sure you use a permanant marker so that you don't leave a little trail of faces everywhere.Burning things, when done carefully and safely, is also pretty entertaining. It's also very smelly, so only set fire to stuff in a well-ventilated space. Things to burn: orange peel, bits of plant, siblings, nasty food...
But a trail of faces would be brilliant! :p:
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Johnny 5
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And if I get bored of the faces, I can burn them.
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ImperceptibleNinja
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3 months' worth of fingertip-faces, all in a little trail?! So long as you didn't have to clean it up, it would be excellent fun.
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Evil-Tuna
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self harm - never a dull moment.
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Darkened Angel
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Annoy neighbours by playing loud, obnoxious, cheesey music all day long

Get a laser pen and shine it at random neighbours

Walk up to random people in the street and chase them with a baseball bat

Get a volley ball, draw a face on it, name it and talk to it all holiday
(Original post by sophisti_kate)
:rolleyes: I severely doubt one bonfire will hurt the environment...try campainging against China, if you're that worried...
sure! what if everyone thought and then everybody started a bonfire, all thinking that one bonfire wont make a difference and then all raise the global temperature by 1 degree thereby causing the polar icecaps to melt causing worldwide flooding :rolleyes:
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Darkened Angel
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(Original post by ImperceptibleNinja)
Things to burn: orange peel, bits of plant, siblings, nasty food...
your parents, your house, Bill Gates, etc...
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AngelofnoColour
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sounds boring
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sophisti_kate
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(Original post by Darkened Angel)
sure! what if everyone thought and then everybody started a bonfire, all thinking that one bonfire wont make a difference and then all raise the global temperature by 1 degree thereby causing the polar icecaps to melt causing worldwide flooding :rolleyes:
Fine. When you get 7 billion people to start a bonfire each, I'll retract my comment. :rolleyes:
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ImperceptibleNinja
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(Original post by Darkened Angel)
Annoy neighbours by playing loud, obnoxious, cheesey music all day long

Get a laser pen and shine it at random neighbours
Something gives me the impression you don't like your neighbours very much...
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Evil-Tuna
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(Original post by Darkened Angel)
your parents, your house, George Bush, etc...
I'm getting tired of all this Anti George Bush sentiments, start a George Bush FTW campaign, so how far you can get.
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