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    As part of our Anti-Bullying Week campaign, we're running a series of threads on the topic of bullying.

    Today's topic is about overcoming bullying and the negative emotional and psychological effects of it. By sharing your thoughts and experiences we can together raise awareness of how serious the effects of bullying can be, and to help those who experience bullying feel have the courage and knowledge to speak out and get help.

    Do yo have some experience you can share? Were you ever bullied or picked on, and managed to stop it? Did your school support you and deal with the bullies?

    Alternatively, perhaps you didn't manage to escape the bullies for some time, but later took positive steps to overcome the emotional effects. How did you go about it, and what advice can you give others who are coming to terms with the after effects of bullying?

    Remember, you can post anonymously to reply.
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    I was a bully in primary school but in secondary school, i completely changed my ways..

    I ended up getting bullied for a couple of weeks by a guy in year 11(i was in year 10) and i don't know why he kept on picking on me, but he just did...whenever he saw me in the corridors, on the bus..he would come to me and insult me..(i can't remember if he physically hit me..i don't think so) but my friends would just keep quiet :lol:

    I got fed up of this and snitched on him, i told my head of year, my head of year told the bully's head of year. His head of year came to speak to me about it, a week later, there was a meeting which consisted of me, the bully, the bully's dad, deputy head teacher and the bully's head of year...i was shocked but yeah the bully got told off so badly, his dad was angry and made threats to him :mmm: anyways, he never made eye contact with me ever again...whenever he saw me, he would look away :awesome:
    I can't remember how i felt emotionally but i was upset and very weary of my surroundings...

    My school has a zero tolerance on bullying and take every case seriously. Unfortunately, his mates then got involved and kept on shouting "snitch" whenever they saw me...that went on for a month until they want study leave for their exams...and i never saw then again

    I feel this was karma because i was a bully in primary school, i dunno but bullies are cowards and always will be.
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    I used to be bullied back at primary school which resulted in my mum having to yell at the deputy headteacher for being so useless. Eventually one day I had had enough and decided to chase after my bully and beat her in the back so hard . She never bothered me again after that and started being nice to me. Once I got to secondary school I wasn't necessarily bullied but some guys did make fun of me for a while so I just beat them up. Plus I had a good reputation with my teachers so they always sided with me whenever there was a problem.

    I remember one incident where in French class during Year 9, the guy in front of me who was known to be an annoying idiot decided to bother me while I was doing my work. My teacher knew this kid had been bothering me for a while but he was in the store room behind the class. I just got up and strangled this kid until the teacher came. I didn't even get into trouble for that. Didn't stop the kid from bothering me though cos for a while after that we kept fighting >__> I wouldn't class it as bullying though. But yeah, teachers are useless unless you have a good reputation with them.
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    (Original post by Milostar)
    As part of our Anti-Bullying Week campaign, we're running a series of threads on the topic of bullying.

    Today's topic is about overcoming bullying and the negative emotional and psychological effects of it. By sharing your thoughts and experiences we can together raise awareness of how serious the effects of bullying can be, and to help those who experience bullying feel have the courage and knowledge to speak out and get help.

    Do yo have some experience you can share? Were you ever bullied or picked on, and managed to stop it? Did your school support you and deal with the bullies?

    Alternatively, perhaps you didn't manage to escape the bullies for some time, but later took positive steps to overcome the emotional effects. How did you go about it, and what advice can you give others who are coming to terms with the after effects of bullying?

    Remember, you can post anonymously to reply.
    I used to get bullied at primary school because of my eczema. I never told anyone because I thought it was completely normal behaviour, so no, it didn't get stopped.

    I'm a lot more confident in myself now, although I'm still quite self conscious about my skin. I don't get bad eczema any more, but people have pointed out that my face gets flaky during cold weather. People often ask me what's wrong with my face, which does hurt 'cause that's what people used to say to me when they bullied me. I often don't feel attractive, even if my boyfriend says he thinks I'm beautiful
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    I was bullied at lot in secondary school. The school didn't do anything. They claimed they have a zero tolerance policy on bullying. What they really mean is they ignore it.

    One time, a friends girlfriend was harassing me. She claimed I was sending my friend letters trying to split them up. I spoke to my head of year who claimed her behaviour was ok because she's having a **** time at home. And? Since when did that give someone the right to go around picking on someone else?

    Also got bullied in year 7 and nothing was done. The school ignored it and moaned when I refused to go to school because they wouldn't do anything. What else was I meant to do? I was being bullied and had things stolen and my bag ripped. The school argued they'd do something if I'd turn up. That was a load of rubbish. They did nothing at all.
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    (Original post by OU Student)
    Also got bullied in year 7 and nothing was done. The school ignored it and moaned when I refused to go to school because they wouldn't do anything. What else was I meant to do? I was being bullied and had things stolen and my bag ripped. The school argued they'd do something if I'd turn up. That was a load of rubbish. They did nothing at all.
    Had a similar experience when I was bullied during my early years of secondary school. Many times it seems schools can't really do anything about bullying whether they want to or not, especially when it comes to bullies who are well connected throughout the school.

    Anyway, the bullying died down and virtually disappeared during my later years of school - was never totally sure why, though it wasn't the school doing anything about it. I did manage to get some respect by doing sports and competing in athletics at a decent level (far from outrageously good, but I did win local tournaments and that was much better than almost anyone in the year could do). There were also a number of much 'weaker' kids bullies targeted in my year that detracted attention from me - the kind who were very timid, small, really bad at sports, etc.
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    I was bullied in primary school, years 8, 10 and 11. I kept pretty quiet about it, especially the sinister racial bullying and physical violence. I wish I had told someone at the time as I have a lot of issues which stemmed from the bullying today and feel as though taking action would have prevented some of it. I'm getting psychiatric help and am slowly moving on.
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    (Original post by super_kawaii)
    I used to get bullied at primary school because of my eczema. I never told anyone because I thought it was completely normal behaviour, so no, it didn't get stopped.

    I'm a lot more confident in myself now, although I'm still quite self conscious about my skin. I don't get bad eczema any more, but people have pointed out that my face gets flaky during cold weather. People often ask me what's wrong with my face, which does hurt 'cause that's what people used to say to me when they bullied me. I often don't feel attractive, even if my boyfriend says he thinks I'm beautiful
    Ben Ainslie (you know, the best ever Olympic sailor ever?) used to go to my school and whilst he was there he had a skin condition which caused some people to call him a 'leper'. Look at him now! Reminded me of your situation.
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    I was bullied pretty much all the way through middle school. I've always been quite an optimistic and happy person, but four years of pretty much relentless teasing, name-calling, physical threats and verbal abuse seriously damaged my confidence and, for many years afterwards, I couldn't leave my house alone without psyching myself up beforehand. I spoke to my school countless times, but they did practically nothing, other than tell me that I should change my behaviour so not to attract attention (which was interesting, since I was a fairly quiet kid who kept to myself all the time and my bullies sought me out specifically). After four years though, it seemed like every time I complained about bullying, it was seen more as a nuisance on my part rather than something which needed to be solved. Indeed I later learnt that one of my teachers made fun of me in front of her class.

    Whilst I should stress that I have many happy memories from back then, my whole middle school experience is an almost toxic memory. I was fortunate enough to be accepted into my preferred high school and, whilst there were one or two annoying people there, the school took any allegation of bullying very seriously. For me, being able to study in a 'safe' environment helped me gradually overcome the crippling anxiety I'd acquired in middle school. I've since completed a BA, and am studying towards a Masters degree in a subject that I love.

    I still suffer somewhat from my old experiences though. I tend to get anxious very easily about very trivial things, and if people laugh towards me, I sometimes get frightened and/or upset. For me though, my 'philosophy' is simply that life always goes on, and by trying to approach every situation with a positive attitude, I've been able to largely leave the baggage of those old memories behind.
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    A group of "popular" kids (one in particular) tried to bully me once in front of my whole maths class in 6th form. I told him to go **** himself and that I didn't give a single **** what the rat-face ******* thought. They didn't bother trying after that. With bullying, if you give them an inch they take a mile. It's better to make small stand and nip it in the bud, then try and ignore it as it usually escalates into something a lot worse.
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    (Original post by Kerny)
    Had a similar experience when I was bullied during my early years of secondary school. Many times it seems schools can't really do anything about bullying whether they want to or not, especially when it comes to bullies who are well connected throughout the school.
    I was also bullied in 6th form and they did do something. A quick talk to the people involved, made them stop. I know that sometimes it's not simple.

    I once had a teacher laugh in my face when I told her I was being bullied.:mad:
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    I was bullied when I moved to secondary school. I wouldn't describe it as "give me your lunch money"-type bullying but it made me feel pretty crap. I remember once instance especially - it was Year 7 and I was in Geography and one of the popular girls (it was an all-girls school which made it 10x worse in my opinion) kept saying that she'd push me down the stairs and I began crying. She then called all her friends round and told me that over and over again until I cried. That was probably the most severe instance, but the rest was just catty comments on things like my hair. The girls there were really intimidating and the girls there being primarily Caribbean/African meant I was a minority and made me feel even more alienated. It didn't help that hardly anyone from my primary school went to this school either.

    At the beginning of Year 9 (Sept 2010), I plucked up the courage to tell my mum about how horrible the people at this school were, and I changed schools to a mixed secondary school. I had to make statements to the head of year, but my last day at that hellhole was in December and I began the new term at my new school in January 2011. On the first day I was ****ting myself because I was going to be "the new kid" and was worried that it was going to bullied again - but all of my good friends from primary school went to this school and I couldn't believe how (relatively) friendly everyone was. I made new friends and before I knew it I was settled in and had finished my GCSEs with good grades.

    I want to say that bullying has no effect on me and everything's fine and dandy, but it's had quite a few psychological consequences. I suffer from social anxiety. I have developed an eating disorder probably because I hated having lunch with the girls at my old school and began feeling understandably quite unhappy from about 11. This unhappiness, at around 13, progressed into clinical depression and I began self-harming in Nov 2012 as a ramification of my depressive state.

    Of course, there were other factors, such as my home life, that have contributed to my poor mental health but I can't stress how important it is to tell someone right away that you're being bullied. I wish I had told my mum within the first month of Year 7 and maybe I would have been okay. I'm now taking a "gap year" in order to deal with my mental health so I'm more flexible in terms of session dates and clinic admission if need be. It's awful seeing all my friends do their AS levels but I'm seeing a psychologist weekly and I'm on Cipralex. I'm getting there though, slowly but surely.

    If you are feeling sad, please speak to your GP or your parents or one of your friends. I left it so long in telling my parents that I wasn't very well... they're there for you and they love you. The same goes for bullying. TELL SOMEBODY! Forget about the bullies - they're just ********s that are incredibly insecure within themselves and need to assert their authority in someway to make themselves feel better. Bullying is just part of a stage in your life that will not go on forever. Don't be afraid to tell somebody. Things do get better!

    I'm also here if anybody wants to PM me x


    P.S Sorry for the long post!
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    I suffered from bullying pretty badly.
    Even some teachers bully me.

    I have suffered effects from it;
    Namely anxiety.


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    #1

    I was bullied in secondary school by a group of 15 girls. I didn't have a clue who they were before it all happened. It started suddenly one day and lasted until my last year. It started over a boy, one of the girls wanted my boyfriend- so they all decided that it was a good idea to make my life hell. After a few days of name calling and online abuse, I gave in and left my boyfriend of 2 years. I thought that it would end it all. Apparently not.

    From then on, I would have them call me names, threaten me online, post comments everywhere on my accounts- then it escalated to throwing objects at me when I tried to cross the school playground, writing names on my class books (we left our maths books in the classroom if we didn't have homework), sending me text messages. They would stand a couple of ft away from where I sat with my friends at lunch and just stare at us and call me names. On the bus they used to throw stuff at me, shout names at me and write abuse about me on the windows. I went home everyday feeling more and more upset.

    Eventually I told the school, but nothing happened. Not even a single detention. A few months into it, I got an email telling me I was worthless and that I should kill myself. I went to talk to one of my friends, who replied saying they were "done dealing with it all". The next day I had been admitted to hospital for attempting to take my own life.

    The school were informed and my closest friends. No-one else knew. The bullying continued and I was made to see counselors, I felt like it was my fault it was happening. The school tried to intervene, by putting me and the main instigator into a room to "talk things out". Needless to say, it didn't help. The bullying continued.

    I didn't stand up for myself until a year later. After being called a 'slut', I told them to leave me alone. I had enough of it. It didn't stop then, but slowly one by one they dropped off, and it was only a few left bullying me. By year 11, it had near enough stopped and I only had the occasional comment. I left school with fantastic results and I've been offered places at my university choices. The bullies were never punished, and the girl who sent me the message never found out that she pushed me over the edge- I still feel like they have some control over me because they never found out what they caused me to do.

    No one deserves to be bullied. You can be abused physically, emotionally or cyber-ly, but all of these are bullying and all of these are wrong. NO-ONE DESERVES TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE WORTHLESS. No one deserves to feel like their only way out is suicide. Tell someone before it gets too late- please. Every one cares about you, so have the courage to speak out. You are worth something and you do not deserve this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was bullied in secondary school by a group of 15 girls. I didn't have a clue who they were before it all happened. It started suddenly one day and lasted until my last year. It started over a boy, one of the girls wanted my boyfriend- so they all decided that it was a good idea to make my life hell. After a few days of name calling and online abuse, I gave in and left my boyfriend of 2 years. I thought that it would end it all. Apparently not.

    From then on, I would have them call me names, threaten me online, post comments everywhere on my accounts- then it escalated to throwing objects at me when I tried to cross the school playground, writing names on my class books (we left our maths books in the classroom if we didn't have homework), sending me text messages. They would stand a couple of ft away from where I sat with my friends at lunch and just stare at us and call me names. On the bus they used to throw stuff at me, shout names at me and write abuse about me on the windows. I went home everyday feeling more and more upset.

    Eventually I told the school, but nothing happened. Not even a single detention. A few months into it, I got an email telling me I was worthless and that I should kill myself. I went to talk to one of my friends, who replied saying they were "done dealing with it all". The next day I had been admitted to hospital for attempting to take my own life.

    The school were informed and my closest friends. No-one else knew. The bullying continued and I was made to see counselors, I felt like it was my fault it was happening. The school tried to intervene, by putting me and the main instigator into a room to "talk things out". Needless to say, it didn't help. The bullying continued.

    I didn't stand up for myself until a year later. After being called a 'slut', I told them to leave me alone. I had enough of it. It didn't stop then, but slowly one by one they dropped off, and it was only a few left bullying me. By year 11, it had near enough stopped and I only had the occasional comment. I left school with fantastic results and I've been offered places at my university choices. The bullies were never punished, and the girl who sent me the message never found out that she pushed me over the edge- I still feel like they have some control over me because they never found out what they caused me to do.

    No one deserves to be bullied. You can be abused physically, emotionally or cyber-ly, but all of these are bullying and all of these are wrong. NO-ONE DESERVES TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE WORTHLESS. No one deserves to feel like their only way out is suicide. Tell someone before it gets too late- please. Every one cares about you, so have the courage to speak out. You are worth something and you do not deserve this.
    Why werent they informed?!

    Schools attitudes from what I've read on tsr is atrocious.
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    I was bullied in primary school. I know we were all very young and kids say horrible things to each other but I was constantly picked on, mainly to do with my teeth (before I had braces). I have straight teeth now that I am 21 but they are still a sensitive topic/I am forever aware of them. I will never let anybody make me feel like that again.

    I took a work placement over the summer this year in London in the fashion industry. It is just as catty there as everyone says - mainly because no one sleeps! - and was made to feel invisible and small on several occasions. One lady who was supposed to be my supervisor even went behind my back to purposely get me into trouble with my boss because he had applauded the standard of my work.

    The one thing I am most proud of myself for doing is standing up for myself in all of these situations, especially the last. I was never nasty or argumentative but simply asked them why they were trying to make me feel that way and what we could both do to overcome it. I gained so much respect from them after that and there was never an issue again. But most importantly I gained self-respect.

    Sadly, people need to be reminded why they are being utterly rude or nasty. I think they are sometimes so used to it that they forget the real reason. The best thing is seeing the look on their faces when they don't have a valid reply!
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    I know what it feels like to be bullied more than anyone, for 9 years of my life, I was bullied. Kicked, beaten, called names, money stolen from, and everything you could think of. Since 2004 till 2013, I was being bullied, in every school. Yeah I wasn't the slimmest and best-looking guy, but I was a nice and kind hearted person, but no one cared about me. Heck, even my so called "best friend" at that time was the one who was telling people to bully me! And did this behind my back! Every time I was bullied, and I went home, I would loose myself in tears, and the only thing that consoled me was my favorite superhero, Spider-Man. I would read his comics and they made me feel better. i could always imagine him putting his hand on my shoulder saying "It's okay." When I moved to my secondary school, I thought my ordeal of bullying was over. It wasn't. Again, a close friend of mine started bullying me. He had gotten people to come with him and they pointed a knife at me. I was so scared. The best part was, he was my form tutor's son.I didn't tell anyone, I was too scared, but I did make a new friend in the beginning of the year who was like an older brother to me, the only person whom I could actually trust, who even until today, for 2 years, hasn't ever betrayed me. So back to the bully, one day, I couldn't take it anymore. Enough is enough. I went to his dad, and told his father everything. After some time, he dragged me to the toilet and started yelling at me for telling his dad. That's when I snapped. (I'm generally a very kind and peace-loving person who would never say anything wrong or rude) All that anger in me, for 9 whole years, a bit of it came out, and all that strength, I lifted him up in the air and yelled at him, and threw him to the ground. (Note: He is two time's my size, with muscles-a jock, basically) Ever since then, he has never been brave enough to bully me again, and actually respects me now. But the downside is, that because of the 9-year bullying ordeal, it's caused me problems, mainly being anti-social. I can only talk to my best friend about anything, but when it comes to anyone else, It's kind of difficult for me. When we're in groups discussing about stuff, I barely talk, mainly because I feel no one wants to hear me. When everyone else is having fun and talking, I'm in one corner doing nothing, not being able to socialize because I feel that I'll be disturbing them, but no one understands except for my best friend, whom always comes and talks to me. I have zero confidence too. Heck, I even had a teacher who used to call me name and hit me, just because he was racist. The other thing is that I still have all that anger in me, waiting to come out, and controlling it is kind of hard. No one wants to understand me, they only think that I’m some teenager who likes Spider-Man and Doctor Who, but no one wants to know why. No one cares about how broken I actually am, how sad I really am, how much I’ve cried. No one cares. No one. I hope that my story will help someone out there, because if someone is bullying you, no matter how much they threaten you, you have to tell someone. It will only help, I promise. Don't become me.
 
 
 
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