Housemates boyfriend never leaves Watch

Anonymous #1
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I moved into a new house in september with two of my previous housemates. Basically one of them has a boyfriend who last year started staying over at the house but then during the easter holidays he spent the entire week and then didn't really live. He never contributed to bills so the 4 of us were basically paying for 5 people to live in the house as he showered/cooked/washed his clothes at our house much to our annoyance.

We mentioned this issue before we moved into this new house and were told he wouldn't be staying as much as he did last year and that they would split their time between each others houses. Within the first month of us living here it started happening again, so my housemate apologised and said he had contributed money towards the gas and electric meter (this money none of us ever saw and wasn't ever actually put on the meter)

We are at the point now where his boyfriend is staying in the house monday to friday and goes on the weekends because my housemate goes back to his hometown to work. So he is essentially living here the same amount of time as my housemate who pays bills and rent.

He has started treating this like its his house, which fair enough he want him to feel comfortable at his boyfriends house etc but its getting beyond ridiculous. He has twice now when intoxicated been aggressive towards a female housemate and another female friend, which has caused us to not feel comfortable having him in our home ALL THE TIME.

We are at the point now where we are going through so much gas/electric now having 6 people living in a 5 bedroom house we can't go on much longer. We've tried to mention it to them without much notice being taken. Not really sure what else we can do. Is it worth trying to get our housemate on his own (which is near impossible as they are glued to each other) to tell him how we are sick of his boyfriend essentially living here and not contributing to anything, or should we go straight to our landlord about the fact he is illegally living in our home which is in breech of our tenancy agreement?
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Alex_Jones
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#2
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Going to the landlord would be your best bet, they are completely taking advantage of it and its hardily fair
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Caedus
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Don't be a **** and **** up someone's relationship just because you're not in one. This kind of stuff happens in shared houses, if you don't like it live on your own. Sorry but that's how it is
And what of the bills? He'll have to contribute also as things are rather unfair at the moment.
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Don't be a **** and **** up someone's relationship just because you're not in one. This kind of stuff happens in shared houses, if you don't like it live on your own. Sorry but that's how it is
That's unfair. The OP does have a reason to be pissed off, tbh. Or is it right to be effectively be paying for someone elses electricity? I wouldn't be happy either.

OP - is there anything anything in your contract about people staying over?
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Ben_K
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That would be so annoying. I feel for you OP. Complain to your landlord...
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FlavaFavourFruit
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Don't be a **** and **** up someone's relationship just because you're not in one. This kind of stuff happens in shared houses, if you don't like it live on your own. Sorry but that's how it is
No. It's not how it is :rolleyes:

The house is meant for 5 people, the bf is taking advantage and I would be peed off too
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beast132
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Just tell your housemate that her boyfriend needs to contribute to the bills, if that's the only thing that bothers you.

I wouldn't mind if someones boyfriend was staying in my house if he was mostly staying at a housemates room, but if for example he would be taking space from the fridge or causing queue to the shower in the morning I would get pissed off.

It's definitely not acceptable, but you can still be nice about it. If bills are your main concern just suggest to your housemate that next time you'll divide it by 6.
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
So what? Why does it matter? I hate people who ruin things for others.
You're so defensive about this, I'm wondering if perhaps you've also been in a similar situation with a partner?

It's very annoying when someone starts taking advantage of you/ your home. He does not live there, he's making use of their utilities when he's not paying anything and overstaying his welcome beyond reason. From what the OP said, he's practically living there in the week when it's not even his home.
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FlavaFavourFruit
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because it's nice. Simple.

I've never lived in shared housing :rofl: Other people would drive me mental, and they'd get sick of me, so I didn't go there. Live with my boyfriend
Lol because it's nice? In that case, I can let a homeless person live in my shared flat coz it's nice...
The thing is, they're students and money is tight as a student.

I will tell him to sling his hook.
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DorianGrayism
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
He should contribute to the bills, but only if he's using them more than if just his girlfriend was there. You shouldn't moan just because he's living there. That's horris
I don't know what you are complaining about.

She is saying that he does not pay the bills and you have a go at her.

You then say that you agree he needs to pay the bills.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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(Original post by IlexBlue)
You're so defensive about this, I'm wondering if perhaps you've also been in a similar situation with a partner?

It's very annoying when someone starts taking advantage of you/ your home. He does not live there, he's making use of their utilities when he's not paying anything and overstaying his welcome beyond reason. From what the OP said, he's practically living there in the week when it's not even his home.
No, I live with my boyfriend in our flat.

I just don't see why people get so annoyed :dontknow: I get he should pay bills, but him just being there shouldn't be cause for anyone to be angry
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Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
No, I live with my boyfriend in our flat.

I just don't see why people get so annoyed :dontknow: I get he should pay bills, but him just being there shouldn't be cause for anyone to be angry
I don't know about you; but I'd be rather pissed if someone who isn't part of the house, was suddenly staying almost every single day.
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
No, I live with my boyfriend in our flat.

I just don't see why people get so annoyed :dontknow: I get he should pay bills, but him just being there shouldn't be cause for anyone to be angry
Because the other housemates haven't agreed to it. It's their home, and they should be able to go back and relax without any unwanted guests hanging around or mooching off them. I can only assume this isn't something you've had experience with, because it's one of the most infuriating things ever.
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Tyrion_Lannister
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(Original post by ChaosisaLadder)
Why exactly should they accommodate someone who is not part of the agreement and who it is not in their interests to accommodate and contributes nothing and yet takes away :confused:
Because it's shared housing. She lives there, and if she wants he r boyfriend over, there's nothing wrong with that. He should contribute, but aside from that there's nothing wrong with it
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Tyrion_Lannister
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(Original post by OU Student)
I don't know about you; but I'd be rather pissed if someone who isn't part of the house, was suddenly staying almost every single day.
But that's the whole point about shared housing, you have to put up with other people

(Original post by IlexBlue)
Because the other housemates haven't agreed to it. It's their home, and they should be able to go back and relax without any unwanted guests hanging around or mooching off them. I can only assume this isn't something you've had experience with, because it's one of the most infuriating things ever.
But it's shared, so you don't get the luxury of being able to say that? :dontknow: I've never lived in shared because it sounds like a problem waiting to happen to me, plus I'd end up wanting to kill everyone (and they me!) so I just never did it.
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deedee123
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
No, I live with my boyfriend in our flat.

I just don't see why people get so annoyed :dontknow: I get he should pay bills, but him just being there shouldn't be cause for anyone to be angry
I don't think the OPs annoyed because he's just there, theres nothing in the OP that implies that she/he's annoyed by anything other than him not paying bills & him being abusive towards other housemates.
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DorianGrayism
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
But that's the only thing that's the problem. Not him being there
So, if that is the only thing that is a problem, and you agree with the OP and the solution suggested by the OP, then you have no reason to complain.
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
But it's shared, so you don't get the luxury of being able to say that? :dontknow: I've never lived in shared because it sounds like a problem waiting to happen to me, plus I'd end up wanting to kill everyone (and they me!) so I just never did it.
Yes, you do, because basic consideration is part of living in shared accommodation. It's not about yourself (I mean in general, not you specifically.) You don't get to do whatever you like or you'll find yourself homeless.
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ChaosisaLadder
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Because it's shared housing. She lives there, and if she wants he r boyfriend over, there's nothing wrong with that. He should contribute, but aside from that there's nothing wrong with it
The terms of the shared housing i.e. the minimum they have to put up with are set down in an agreement. The boyfriend is not part of the agreement and therefore they do not have to put up with him.

There is a lot wrong with that. He is not part of the agreement and has signed nothing and therefore is not covered by its terms.
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Bronco2012
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Don't be a **** and **** up someone's relationship just because you're not in one. This kind of stuff happens in shared houses, if you don't like it live on your own. Sorry but that's how it is
Sorry, what?


Weren't you moaning about people being too loud a few weeks back?
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