:o(

I don't know what I want people to say, I just feel on a bit of a low at the minute. My boyfriend told me he thought we should break up for university, which I really don't agree with(we've been going out for over a year), the thing is, he's currently away on holiday until mid August, so really by the time he gets home, we're only going to have a month together. Every time he calls me from holiday I find myself feeling annoyed at him and I'm finding it difficult to have fun conversations with him due to the knowing what's coming. Any suggestions on what to do? We haven't discussed when we're breaking up or why in any real detail, any help anyone could give me would be very appreciated. I can't help but think that after so long, there's something wrong if he doesn't want to stay with me :frown:

Reply 1

Talon

18

Only a month? You've been together for other a year so I dont see how that makes much difference. All you can do is talk to him. No reason why you cant have an ldr. Me and my gf tried it...still going :smile:

. Happy here. Lol. If he doesnt want to hear it then he is just an arse.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Talon

Only a month? You've been together for other a year so I dont see how that makes much difference. All you can do is talk to him. No reason why you cant have an ldr. Me and my gf tried it...still going :smile:

. Happy here. Lol. If he doesnt want to hear it then he is just an arse.

Do you find you were still able to make new friends/enjoy the whole uni experience, like freshers week etc?

Reply 3

idiopathic

15

YOU will probably be able to enjoy the whole uni experience, but it seems your BF might not. He might get frustrated etc

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

idiopathic

YOU will probably be able to enjoy the whole uni experience, but it seems your BF might not. He might get frustrated etc

Frustrated? why?

Reply 5

Note

11

Frustrated? why?

three letters with a mathematical symbol at the start

>sex [if single at freshers week and stuff]

he clearly wants uni for sex.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Note

three letters with a mathematical symbol at the start

>sex [if single at freshers week and stuff]

he clearly wants uni for sex.

He SAYS he doesn't, that it's because it'd be harder to make friends if a girlfriend was coming to visit etc and basically miss out on the whole uni experience of going out. I think it's totally idiotic.

Reply 7

sash37uk

1

it's not idiotic, I've got friends who have LDR's and they go home alot and tbh were not as close as we could be because we dont see her much.

Maybe thats what hes worried about...

Reply 8

cutcopy

LDRs and uni do not mix 90% of the time. It's just the nature of university. It is essentially a new life away from home (most of the time). You see it happening all the time. People get into relationships at college in the second year, then all of a sudden they're thinking ****, what do we do now.

People eventually realise that college was just a minor educational phase to lead to bigger things, such as university, finding out what you want to do, securing your own house with flatmates. My relationship at college, as well as most other things to do with college, are pretty much long forgotten for me.

Obviously people do make LDRs work, and people retain aspects of their college life whilst at university, but my personal preference is just to treat it like you're starting fresh. But hey, that's just me :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Does anyone think it's possible to remain really good friends after breaking up under these circumstances?

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 10

Sianey

I have exactly this problem. I don't want to break up with him, but I don't want him to resent me for him not getting everything out of uni. I think what we're gunna do is have about a months probationary period type thing, and then if either of us is unhappy at the end of that month, finish it. But obviously it'll be so much easier for him, because he'll be in a whole new place, not seeing much of mutual friends, and locations of memories.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Perhaps its too much hassle to trapse back and forth from uni to home and your not worth it?

Reply 12

oxygenbubbles

2

Anonymous

Perhaps its too much hassle to trapse back and forth from uni to home and your not worth it?

I don't think that response helped anyone in this thread. Don't abuse the anonymous function to post rude replies to people who are obviously hurt. Grow up.

Reply 13

sweetface.

Plently of more fish in the sea, thats all i can say for you.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

I think the long-term relationship can work, but you both have to want it. Talk to him about it: find out why he wants to split up. Chances are he's just scared that you're going to find someone new and he wants the relationship to end before that happens. Of course, it could all be about the sex, but I'm a romantic and I refuse to believe that everyone is so shallow.
Talk to him: find out what he wants. Your biggest problem is you're confused- you don't know why he wants to split up and you just feel like you're being abandoned. If you talk about it, at least you'll know where you stand.

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

I am staying with my boyfriend through college. We're going to two different British colleges that are not exactly close, but we'll be meeting when we come home to our home town outside of the UK. I think it will work.

:o(

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