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    Hi there, I am just looking for some advice really.

    I live with my mum, dad and 15 year old brother. He is currently in his first year of GCSE's. I am 20.

    Almost 2 years ago, my brother was given a PS3 as a gift for Christmas. He used to be limited to one hour a day.

    He has a PS3 Tv, laptop for coursework ONLY and a phone. His phone is to be left out of his room as is his laptop and PS3 controller.

    Now he is 15 and I fear he is becoming addicted. My reasons for this are:
    1. He is struggling to get off to sleep. He used to be so good at it.
    2. He is becoming aggressive. Yes, he is a teen and yes his hormones must be going mad but I mean more than normal. Not just with his mouth but he is physically aggressive sometimes too.
    3. His school work is suffering.
    4. He doesn't follow any instructions and always seems to bring people down.


    My parents are great parents.

    At night, there is always an argument about coming off the pS3 and this sometimes lasts for 2 hour though.
    When he is beyond control we take EVERYTHING off of him but for some reason this no longer works. He still manages to get around the ban and then we are back to square one.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that every waking minute that he is in the house, he is on that damn PS3.

    Does anybody have any tips for dealing with this? Any routines?
    I am a disabled woman and struggling to stand up to this 15 year old raging teen.
    Please don't say " Oh your parents aren't strict enough" or " he's got you wrapped around his little finger". We are really trying. We've enough going on in this family...

    Any help would be greatly received.

    From a desperate sister...
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    I can empathise greatly - my brother's much the same (he's also 15, I'm 19), except with his laptop rather than his PS3. It's a difficult situation since at their sort of age they think they know what's best for them and consider themselves independent enough to make the choice for themselves, and to some extent they're right - at 15 you're hardly a child any more. Because of that, I don't think taking the stuff away from him is going to accomplish anything, so I'd say the best thing you/your parents could do would be to threaten him with serious punishment (and stick to it) if his schoolwork doesn't improve, or if he steps out of line with the aggressiveness, etc. That may be the only way he'll realise that he needs to cut back on the PS3.
    • #2
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    :o:( I'm an Asian girl and 23, I get gaming addictions. What games and for how long though?
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    Throw the PS3 out of his bedroom window and onto the concrete below. He'll thank you in 3 years time... probably.
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    I would be aggressive if people made me leave my stuff outside my room too, and a few hours is not an addiction.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents are great parents.

    At night, there is always an argument about coming off the pS3 and this sometimes lasts for 2 hour though.
    When he is beyond control we take EVERYTHING off of him but for some reason this no longer works. He still manages to get around the ban and then we are back to square one.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that every waking minute that he is in the house, he is on that damn PS3.
    How? If he doesn't have a controller then he's ****ed...

    Ration him game time in return for doing chores and homework, for example an hour of homework equals 30 minutes game time.

    Sounds like you're simply not enforcing discipline. Additionally please don't use the phrase 'gaming addiction' in front of him, he's not addicted he's just bored, and the PS3 offers an easy source of entertainment. You guys probably just watch tv in the evenings and slouch, yet you lambast gaming as somehow worse? My mum is a massive bigot when it comes to gaming, and often accused me of being addicted despite me showing no evidence of a dependancy. Being told that you're addicted is one of the most patronising, annoying things you can ever do to a teenage gamer
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    (Original post by Caedus)
    Throw the PS3 out of his bedroom window and onto the concrete below. He'll thank you in 3 years time... probably.
    How mature
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    (Original post by Theflyingbarney)
    It's a difficult situation since at their sort of age they think they know what's best for them
    You're only 4 years older, not much difference for you to be playing that card.


    OP, I was like this when I was a bit younger, being on pc/ps3 literally all day, but then after I started slipping back in school and seeing all my friends get ahead, I realised that what I was doing was nothing good and forced my self to only go on pc/ps3 weekends.
    I guess I'm saying he might grow out of it as he matures.


    If you really want to help him now, then wait till he goes to school and put away the ps3, only letting him use it during school holidays, otherwise he really won't stop anytime soon. He might put up a fight for a short time, but he'll eventually get used to it, and will thank you in the long run.


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    Wtf for all you know your brother could be the next zzirGrizz
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    Get your parents to take it till his works on track and give it him back once he does so. Tell him he can play as much as he likes as long as he's doing well in school, and if he's ignoring you leave him alone for **** sake, he obviously doesn't want to speak to you.
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    (Original post by goldenfish)
    You're only 4 years older, not much difference for you to be playing that card.
    But still. My brother's still first year of GCSEs, whereas I'm in my second year of uni - hindsight is a wonderful thing.
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    Step 1) don't introduce him to league of legends :holmes:
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    -shrugs- You have to be passively aggressive with this kinda stuff from birth. I play at least 1.5 hours a day on either my PS3 or Xbox, spend quite a bit of time on my PC and iPhone daily but I'm still doing Bio, Chem and Maths at A-Level and still get time to socialise outside, too.

    I suppose it's just being taught to intrinsically balance what you ought to be doing. It's very difficult to do this by forcing his hand like you are doing now at this age. This should have been done with other things (not necessarily a PS3 or games console) a long time ago. I don't understand how he gets around the bans when you literally pick the PS3 up and seal it inside an area he can't get to, or put the controller somewhere? As far as I'm concerned, you're simply not being resolute with your discipline. He can't circumnavigate bans when they're foolproof and people don't give in. I wouldn't say my parents were particularly harsh or soft, but used the idea of taking my Gameboy off of me as a last resort. It was like a kick in the balls. My Pokémanz!

    If I were your parents, I'd not feed him and seal him inside an asbestos-lined crazy-chamber. When his face peels off, he'll appreciate the many different (face)ts of life and stop playing on his PS3 so much.

    My kids will be so lucky.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Now he is 15 and I fear he is becoming addicted. My reasons for this are:
    1. He is struggling to get off to sleep. He used to be so good at it.

    This is pretty normal for a 15 year old guy, or at least it was for me back in the day.

    2. He is becoming aggressive. Yes, he is a teen and yes his hormones must be going mad but I mean more than normal. Not just with his mouth but he is physically aggressive sometimes too.

    That's a bit worrying but is there an underlying issue, maybe unhappy at school/with friends?

    3. His school work is suffering.

    See number 2.

    4. He doesn't follow any instructions and always seems to bring people down.

    Sounds like he has low self esteem.
    I've put my responses in bold
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    I play games 3-4 hours every day almost without fail reaching 6 hours or so during weekends. I am a streamer so that could also be why haha but if school work is suffering that is a problem. Just need the balance between friends/family, gaming and work.. Parental controls for him if it is that much of an issue? Games like World of Warcraft have controls that you can block access during certain times of the day, sure other games have this or third-party program which you could get for the same effect..
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    None of you are girls? I used to get massively addicted to free online MMORPGs that are non-downloadable as an escape mechanism and a form of procrastinating. Before that as a kid, it was all about Nintendo mostly Gameboy and Pokemon on there erm and Super Mario stuff. Now it is Marvel Avengers on FB. I've never been a usual Indian girl, used to help guys win on their Gameboy games during school breaks back in the day
    • #2
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    (Original post by AdamskiUK)
    -shrugs- You have to be passively aggressive with this kinda stuff from birth. I play at least 1.5 hours a day on either my PS3 or Xbox, spend quite a bit of time on my PC and iPhone daily but I'm still doing Bio, Chem and Maths at A-Level and still get time to socialise outside, too.

    I suppose it's just being taught to intrinsically balance what you ought to be doing. It's very difficult to do this by forcing his hand like you are doing now at this age. This should have been done with other things (not necessarily a PS3 or games console) a long time ago. I don't understand how he gets around the bans when you literally pick the PS3 up and seal it inside an area he can't get to, or put the controller somewhere? As far as I'm concerned, you're simply not being resolute with your discipline. He can't circumnavigate bans when they're foolproof and people don't give in. I wouldn't say my parents were particularly harsh or soft, but used the idea of taking my Gameboy off of me as a last resort. It was like a kick in the balls. My Pokémanz!

    If I were your parents, I'd not feed him and seal him inside an asbestos-lined crazy-chamber. When his face peels off, he'll appreciate the many different (face)ts of life and stop playing on his PS3 so much.

    My kids will be so lucky.
    Holy crap, you sound like me. My mum used to hide my Gamboy and Tetris console as I get hooked onto games.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Holy crap, you sound like me. My mum used to hide my Gamboy and Tetris console as I get hooked onto games.
    It was Pokémon for me. The pain.

    To be fair, I wasn't allowed a proper home console until 11. I picked up a GBC at about 6, though. Boy did I love my Pikachu-themed GBC...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He has a PS3 Tv, laptop for coursework ONLY and a phone. His phone is to be left out of his room as is his laptop and PS3 controller.

    urm, why? You're patronizing him. Like you said, his hormones are going wild at the moment. He wants to be treated more like an adult. Give him a chance to surprise you/the family. He's a male so his hormones are currently giving him "alpha" type thoughts in his head.

    1. He is struggling to get off to sleep. He used to be so good at it.

    He obviously hasn't learned how to masturbate yet. I don't know how you can help with this. Masturbate = instant sleep.

    2. He is becoming aggressive. Yes, he is a teen and yes his hormones must be going mad but I mean more than normal. Not just with his mouth but he is physically aggressive sometimes too.

    Meh I was the same. I used to cause a lot of trouble for my mum. I was a major geek too so yeah I played games a lot and such. The thing is my mum did get concerned but she just expressed her concern and didn't patronize me about it. Just explained that she's seen the worst that being uneducated can do

    3. His school work is suffering.

    As another user has said when he realizes that his friends will be going to college/uni he will buck his ideas up. Noone wants to be left out however noone at that age wants to be told what to do especially by their family. Telling/forcing him will probably end badly.

    4. He doesn't follow any instructions and always seems to bring people down.

    Yet again, his hormones are kicking in and he wants to be his own man. Give him the chance to be.

    Does anybody have any tips for dealing with this? Any routines?
    To be honest there aren't any "routines" or a direct course of action. He's growing up and at the stage where he 1) wants to be in control of his life 2) thinks what he wants is best for him. You need to allow him to experience what his mistakes can inflict on himself, his friends, his lovelife and the family.

    I got mainly E's, F's and D's at GCSE level and dropped out of college not because I'm not smart. I just bunked off in my last year as I hated being told what to do. However when I realized that I could spend the rest of my days working at a supermarket I bucked my ideas up. Went back to college, decided I wanted to go to university. Got my Maths and English up to C's and got Triple Distinctions in my BTECs and currently on a placement year bossing the **** out of uni (all my essays have gotten A's and such)

    Give him a chance, he might surprise the family.

    Also realizing that girls like to take their clothes for confident, doing well in life guys. Not guys that gamerscore is above 9000!!!
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    (Original post by Artymess)
    Step 1) don't introduce him to league of legends :holmes:
    Or any of the TES games :ashamed2:
 
 
 
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