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    I don't know why do people always tell me their secrets and to noone else. It tends to be painful news to bottle up. My oldest cousin brother came over on the weekend and told me something that noone on my mum's side of the family knows and it is a huge family. We'd only seen him after ages and well I'm the only one who knows that he had cancer and didn't have chemo so went abroad for an operation. He said I can't tell anyone as noone else knows so I was like why didn't he tell anyone, he said said noone would've cared. He told me how he had depression and pretty much everything, that he was told to have an arranged marriage with someone he didn't like and last minute broke it off but the reason was as he'd foundout that he had cancer then. That's probably one of the biggest secrets I've been told that noone knows and it is hard to tell why it is only me who gets told things that are quite serious...

    Sometimes I get told things like about people's relationships etc but noone else, people just tell me everything about their life often after they haven't even known me for that long. My sister is 4yrs older than me but none of our family friends or older cousins tell her anything that they've told me. Tbh I never tell her anything. It is strange. Does anyone else have similar situations? Would you tell your family in this situation? I told my parents but told them not to tell anyone as he doesn't want anyone to know since noone is aware. The sad thing is that everyone assumes the worst of him and they don't understand that he was ill. He gets very emotional and upset when my gran and relatives judge him badly but I said meh I get judged the worst by gran.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know why do people always tell me their secrets and to noone else. It tends to be painful news to bottle up. My oldest cousin brother came over on the weekend and told me something that noone on my mum's side of the family knows and it is a huge family. We'd only seen him after ages and well I'm the only one who knows that he had cancer and didn't have chemo so went abroad for an operation. He said I can't tell anyone as noone else knows so I was like why didn't he tell anyone, he said said noone would've cared. He told me how he had depression and pretty much everything, that he was told to have an arranged marriage with someone he didn't like and last minute broke it off but the reason was as he'd foundout that he had cancer then. That's probably one of the biggest secrets I've been told that noone knows and it is hard to tell why it is only me who gets told things that are quite serious...

    Sometimes I get told things like about people's relationships etc but noone else, people just tell me everything about their life often after they haven't even known me for that long. My sister is 4yrs older than me but none of our family friends or older cousins tell her anything that they've told me. Tbh I never tell her anything. It is strange. Does anyone else have similar situations? Would you tell your family in this situation? I told my parents but told them not to tell anyone as he doesn't want anyone to know since noone is aware. The sad thing is that everyone assumes the worst of him and they don't understand that he was ill. He gets very emotional and upset when my gran and relatives judge him badly but I said meh I get judged the worst by gran.
    Sounds to me like people feel they can really trust you and that you're a good listener. I'd be flattered! My best friend tells me everything and says it's because I'm 'wise' or something like that, but I have noticed that my friends feel they can tell me anything. If it's something they worry about then I like to give advice, too, but most of all it probably makes people feel better for just telling someone about it. If anything, take it as a compliment! If you can see a way that a situation could be improved, then perhaps you could suggest that to them.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    Sounds to me like people feel they can really trust you and that you're a good listener. I'd be flattered! My best friend tells me everything and says it's because I'm 'wise' or something like that, but I have noticed that my friends feel they can tell me anything. If it's something they worry about then I like to give advice, too, but most of all it probably makes people feel better for just telling someone about it. If anything, take it as a compliment! If you can see a way that a situation could be improved, then perhaps you could suggest that to them.
    Yea I listened. Thanks. But didn't know what to say to my cousin brother, he's the oldest cousin I have and hadn't seen him in ages, hasn't been around in my life much but starting to get to know him now has added me to FB. I didn't know what to say but I felt that I had to tell my parents that he had cancer and that's why he didn't go through with his arranged marriage and went to India for the operation but didn't go through chemo. I told him, he should've told us we're still his family but in a way everyone judges him badly. I talk as much as him and am just as random and odd but he said only our family accepts him as the others are typical families. I only told my parents not to tell anyone as he doesn't want anyone to know and not that I said as only I was told by him but I felt that my parents had to know, to stop judging him as he's recovering from depression, I do feel sorry for him that he never got to know his mum as my mum's sister passed away when he was barely born. It is sad. Do you think I shouldn't have told my parents?? It was a little bit too much for me to keep to myself, he didn't tell my oldest sister as she's really hard to talk and communicate with and doesn't listen or understand or give advice she's also very judgemental and looks down on people although she's 4yrs older than me, she's always running away from interaction and never around. I just think it is a little old that he's 35 but didn't tell her who is 28, I'm 23... It is always me who has too much going on in my little brain :eek:. Do you ever feel that you've grown up too quickly? I do but it helped make me mature fast, hanging around people a lot older than me always since I was a toddler
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yea I listened. Thanks. But didn't know what to say to my cousin brother, he's the oldest cousin I have and hadn't seen him in ages, hasn't been around in my life much but starting to get to know him now has added me to FB. I didn't know what to say but I felt that I had to tell my parents that he had cancer and that's why he didn't go through with his arranged marriage and went to India for the operation but didn't go through chemo. I told him, he should've told us we're still his family but in a way everyone judges him badly. I talk as much as him and am just as random and odd but he said only our family accepts him as the others are typical families. I only told my parents not to tell anyone as he doesn't want anyone to know and not that I said as only I was told by him but I felt that my parents had to know, to stop judging him as he's recovering from depression, I do feel sorry for him that he never got to know his mum as my mum's sister passed away when he was barely born. It is sad. Do you think I shouldn't have told my parents?? It was a little bit too much for me to keep to myself, he didn't tell my oldest sister as she's really hard to talk and communicate with and doesn't listen or understand or give advice she's also very judgemental and looks down on people although she's 4yrs older than me, she's always running away from interaction and never around. I just think it is a little old that he's 35 but didn't tell her who is 28, I'm 23... It is always me who has too much going on in my little brain :eek:. Do you ever feel that you've grown up too quickly? I do but it helped make me mature fast, hanging around people a lot older than me always since I was a toddler
    Sounds to me like you're the perfect person to tell something like that in your family! As long as you know your parents will respect his confidentiality then I don't see a problem with you telling them about his cancer.

    And yes, I do feel mature for my age. However I have no siblings and only one cousin who I hardly ever see (he's 12 years older than me anyway though), so other than when I am at school I am around adults. I guess that has allowed me to understand how to communicate with people of different ages, and how to solve problems maturely. That could be part of the reason he has told you as well - you aren't going to be immature and tell everyone he knows because you realise how much it means to him.

    However I think we both have the ability to be as mature or immature as the situation requires. For example I might be immature at school with friends, but at home I adjust to being around adults, and when with family I am mature as well. In my opinion, we have a gift!
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    I'm one of those people who tend to talk to, as well. It's hard, but you have to think of it as a compliment - you're obviously a genuinely nice, approachable person.

    I do struggle sometimes when people tell me things that are difficult to deal with, but I always try to remember that whatever I feel, they're feeling even worse, and I'd always hope that somebody would be there for me if the tables were turned.
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    (Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
    I'm one of those people who tend to talk to, as well. It's hard, but you have to think of it as a compliment - you're obviously a genuinely nice, approachable person.

    I do struggle sometimes when people tell me things that are difficult to deal with, but I always try to remember that whatever I feel, they're feeling even worse, and I'd always hope that somebody would be there for me if the tables were turned.
    Thanks but not always. I'm blunt and straightforward which offends people but I mostly do that to defend myself if someone starts it. I don't find many there for me in reality but it doesn't bother me, rather be there for others
    (Original post by carrotstar)
    Sounds to me like you're the perfect person to tell something like that in your family! As long as you know your parents will respect his confidentiality then I don't see a problem with you telling them about his cancer.

    And yes, I do feel mature for my age. However I have no siblings and only one cousin who I hardly ever see (he's 12 years older than me anyway though), so other than when I am at school I am around adults. I guess that has allowed me to understand how to communicate with people of different ages, and how to solve problems maturely. That could be part of the reason he has told you as well - you aren't going to be immature and tell everyone he knows because you realise how much it means to him.

    However I think we both have the ability to be as mature or immature as the situation requires. For example I might be immature at school with friends, but at home I adjust to being around adults, and when with family I am mature as well. In my opinion, we have a gift!
    Hmm my dad tends to blurt things about me to everyone which are really troublesome for me, he does it on purposes and I'm a screw up. That's why I'm honestly really quite scared, if my cousin knows he won't tell me anything again. My mum should know as it is his older sister who passed away's son but I tend to always think that she lacks emotion, understanding and empathy. Dad is logical but can be immature, he's laidback though and sometimes takes time to get things through to like this cousin's issues for e.g ok my cousin thinks dad is the least judgemental relative which is true but even dad was slightly judging my cousin think he's a wasteman and didn't seem to get that obviously he's struggling having a stepmum and sister. I'm just hoping that telling my parents especially dad, prevents him from judging people before he knows the full story, even for me this was news and really explains a lot. Everyone thought my cousin chose to get married and then last minute said no and wasted everyone's time, yes he's very confused and sometimes like a younger cousin but that's because of his psychological state of depression and cancer recovery...

    You are mature Thanks. I'm pretty much always been an only child, my sister has never been there for me but I've always had to help her study for every subject so she gets the grades and not me. Does your older cousin tell you everything? I think it'd really help if he told my sister whilst I'm there, it was a bit strange being the only one after only seeing my cousin after years and never really knowing him but he hasn't added her to FB just me as my sister doesn't like to know others. This is ****, why can't she just be a human, in a way it has helped me having her around is tough to deal with and I've always looked for others to be like a sibling to me, so complete strangers. I think it is really odd as I shouldn't but sometimes I feel sorry for my sister for being socially awks, people should be able to tell her things and she should respond like a normal person, has no friends so maybe it'd hurt her to think why she doesn't know things but she'd never care anyway if that makes sense as is too self-centred
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks but not always. I'm blunt and straightforward which offends people but I mostly do that to defend myself if someone starts it. I don't find many there for me in reality but it doesn't bother me, rather be there for others

    Hmm my dad tends to blurt things about me to everyone which are really troublesome for me, he does it on purposes and I'm a screw up. That's why I'm honestly really quite scared, if my cousin knows he won't tell me anything again. My mum should know as it is his older sister who passed away's son but I tend to always think that she lacks emotion, understanding and empathy. Dad is logical but can be immature, he's laidback though and sometimes takes time to get things through to like this cousin's issues for e.g ok my cousin thinks dad is the least judgemental relative which is true but even dad was slightly judging my cousin think he's a wasteman and didn't seem to get that obviously he's struggling having a stepmum and sister. I'm just hoping that telling my parents especially dad, prevents him from judging people before he knows the full story, even for me this was news and really explains a lot. Everyone thought my cousin chose to get married and then last minute said no and wasted everyone's time, yes he's very confused and sometimes like a younger cousin but that's because of his psychological state of depression and cancer recovery...

    You are mature Thanks. I'm pretty much always been an only child, my sister has never been there for me but I've always had to help her study for every subject so she gets the grades and not me. Does your older cousin tell you everything? I think it'd really help if he told my sister whilst I'm there, it was a bit strange being the only one after only seeing my cousin after years and never really knowing him but he hasn't added her to FB just me as my sister doesn't like to know others. This is ****, why can't she just be a human, in a way it has helped me having her around is tough to deal with and I've always looked for others to be like a sibling to me, so complete strangers. I think it is really odd as I shouldn't but sometimes I feel sorry for my sister for being socially awks, people should be able to tell her things and she should respond like a normal person, has no friends so maybe it'd hurt her to think why she doesn't know things but she'd never care anyway if that makes sense as is too self-centred
    I hardly see my cousin, so he's more like an acquaintance to me. I don't think we've ever said more than hello and goodbye to each other. It must be over a year now since I last saw him! I have developed sister-like relationships with friends as well which I'm really grateful for, but I also have a really close relationship with my parents, especially my Mum. I don't feel like there's anything missing event though I don't have any siblings and only that one distant cousin. I count myself lucky for that. Why have you helped her study if she never does anything for you? Considering she's older than you as well that's kinda worrying. I'm not sure how you could help her, though. I guess your cousin feels more comfortable talking to you because your sister is socially awkward, and it sounds like it'd be impossible to predict her reaction or how helpful she could be. I think he was probably looking for some reassurance and support, and you gave him that.

    Even if your cousin finds out you told your parents, it's not like it's no longer a family secret. He can't blame you if he didn't tell you to keep it a secret.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    I hardly see my cousin, so he's more like an acquaintance to me. I don't think we've ever said more than hello and goodbye to each other. It must be over a year now since I last saw him! I have developed sister-like relationships with friends as well which I'm really grateful for, but I also have a really close relationship with my parents, especially my Mum. I don't feel like there's anything missing event though I don't have any siblings and only that one distant cousin. I count myself lucky for that. Why have you helped her study if she never does anything for you? Considering she's older than you as well that's kinda worrying. I'm not sure how you could help her, though. I guess your cousin feels more comfortable talking to you because your sister is socially awkward, and it sounds like it'd be impossible to predict her reaction or how helpful she could be. I think he was probably looking for some reassurance and support, and you gave him that.

    Even if your cousin finds out you told your parents, it's not like it's no longer a family secret. He can't blame you if he didn't tell you to keep it a secret.
    That's very similar to me. I see my relatives maximum once a year, so mostly once after every few years or sometimes never again. I don't see any of my cousins although there's so many. Mum has 10 or 11 siblings all mostly in my city in the UK and each sibling averages 2-3 kids but some have none, we're all broken up. This long lost cousin is the most talkative and less snotty so is the only one we're now getting to know, he's coming over on the weekend again. His issues are a secret. Yes, I get along with my parents ok. I see dad as a brother and mum as a professional contact as she's career driven

    My sister is a bully she only puts herself first but I guess that's what makes success. She'd abuse me and not only verbally but I'd have to check all of her schoolwork and even up to her uni dissertation she said she'd pay me £1 to read all of it after I'd noticed a huge mistake in the first few pages. This is just her. She has no friends as isn't nice. Even her pictures from when she's a baby are all miserable sad looking where she looks angry and spoilt, whilst mine are all happy and smiling which even dad notices even though he prefers my sister as she's more academic. My sister calls me a stupid dumb ****ing idiot and controls the house but she's moving out, she's never helped me anyway. It is good to make friends instead of relatives . I relate to my cousin as we're both seen as messups, he said he's the blacksheep of this family and I insisted I am but lately I've unfortunately lost that badge of honour to another cousin who is more messed up. My gran saw him on the weekend after years too like us and cussed him a bit, he was seriously upset and I said meh that's nothing, grans says the worst things to me so just take it as blessings.

    Although he's the oldest, he gets so emotional but has his reasons. He'd thought that our whole family all cousins go out and socialise without him and leave him out as he's old and has a stepmum as if we don't treat him like family. I've had to tell him atleast twice that none of us do that and we don't talk, he should have more fun with his other side of the family. He overthinks things, I think I used to be that depressed when starting highschool but not anymore as there's no time to delve into family crap
 
 
 
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