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    ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now
    got an opportunity to go to a university in america for a year
    one thing stopping me back is financial issues as i don't want to run out of money over there.
    i also dont know what to do about my boyfriend, told him about the idea and obviously he didnt want me to go
    but i dont want to feel like hes holding me back from my future
    any advice
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    (Original post by amymorris14)
    ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now
    got an opportunity to go to a university in america for a year
    one thing stopping me back is financial issues as i don't want to run out of money over there.
    i also dont know what to do about my boyfriend, told him about the idea and obviously he didnt want me to go
    but i dont want to feel like hes holding me back from my future
    any advice
    It's only for a year. If the two of you are serious about each other, you can make it work throughout the year. Presumably you'd only actually be there September - May or whatever the term times are there so that's not all that long really.

    Don't miss out on the opportunity. If he's not willing to make it work while you're there then he's probably not that serious about you anyway and definitely not worth giving up this chance for.
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    I don't want to regret not applying and having the chance to go and not going in the future!
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    As someone who's done a year abroad, I'm urging you to apply. My year abroad was the best experience of my life (so far!) and I doubt that I would have similar opportunities in the future. Boys come and go but experiences like this are truly once in a life time.

    I know a year seems like a long time but trust me, It goes remarkably quickly and if your boyfriend is serious about you then he will wait.
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    If you go best idea is to breakup with him


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    I say this being in the same position as your bf


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    Money should be your only worry to be honest.
    Try and make a list of roughly how much it will cost you and give yourself an allowance to live off, plus a bit extra just in case

    With regards to your boyfriend, if he is the right guy for you he will wait for you and be happy to even have your time on the phone/skype.
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    You should definitely apply to go. I did a semester abroad to the US this year and it was honestly the best 6 months of my life! Everyday was an adventure and I have so many great memories. A lot of my friends who were also studying abroad at the same school as me had a boyfriend/girlfriend and it all worked out fine. Some of them came to visit for a bit and others just skyped with them and kept in contact. I think if you guys are serious about each other it will be fine. If you don't apply I think you will regret it. So I say go for it!
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    If the financial issues don't matter that much you should probably break up with your boyfriend and go. Unless you've been together for years long distance won't work.
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    Amazing how many people here are quick to dump their spouse in a heartbeat yet think cheating or polyamory is wrong.

    What's wrong with calling it a 'break' in case either of your eyes wander during that time. If your partner means so much to you that you just COULDN'T cheat on them, then how could you just ditch them and throw away what you have together? Like it's nothing? Then hook up with someone else totally forgetting about your partner and it's ok because you broke up first?

    If it's true love you'll always come back to eachother. Skype skype skype. Have him scrape up some money to come visit.

    Instead of asking us why don't you come to a decision discussing it with him? If anything happens how about you trust eachother enough to be totally honest about it.

    I'd be more worried if my boyfriend never said anything about any other women when we only see eachother like every 2 months.

    A year abroad isn't going to make or break your future... but please think this through.
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    Hi, not sure if you're still looking for advice, but here's mine:

    I'm currently on my Year Abroad in Germany, travel time to get home/for bf to visit is anywhere between 4 and 12 hours depending which airports we use. The closest airport is the most inconvenient in terms of flight times and availability.

    The relationship:
    - has just passed 3 1/2 years
    - was long distance from 15 months in, with a 3-hour distance during term-time when we were both in UK
    - was acknowldged as going to be long-distance including at least a year in different countries from about 6 months in
    - is still going fine, we send FB messages every day and video-skype about 1-2 times a week. I know others who skype far more often and keep up with workloads

    The year abroad:
    - was not an optional part of my course and was known about by both of us early in the relationship
    - has not been adversely affected by my relationship but would have been by a break-up beforehand
    - has not been the best thing in my life, but has so far been interesting and useful and will give me lots to add to my CV

    Overall I would recommend that you talk to your partner and make this decision together as far as possible. It completely depends on the relationship you have as to whether you should sacrifice it for a year abroad that may be the best time of your life, but may turn out to be just another OK year, or the year from hell. I would say if you do decide to go, it needs to be knowing exactly where your relationship stands, and being happy with that. If ending it to go is the right thing, then fine. Same if he decides he can accept your decision and you will stay together (or at least try your hardest to). But don't go if you're not sure if he's happy with it and think it might fall apart. You need to be completely committed or not, because then at least if you do break up due to distance or something like that, you won't end up questioning your initial decision and being lost emotionally in a strange place.
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    (Original post by amymorris14)
    ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now
    got an opportunity to go to a university in america for a year
    one thing stopping me back is financial issues as i don't want to run out of money over there.
    i also dont know what to do about my boyfriend, told him about the idea and obviously he didnt want me to go
    but i dont want to feel like hes holding me back from my future
    any advice
    Are you two committed for a long distance relationship? If you two can make the effort and stay faithful/loyal, I would sit down with him, have a long talk, and see if you two can give it a shot (and have a game plan on it all).

    For some people, they can't handle LDRs. They need to be physically together. It can get hard for a lot of people.

    For me, personally, if I was with someone for 1.5 years and still loved them, I'd give it at least a shot to stay in an LDR.
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    Break up and avoid the heartbreak! You're not gonna enjoy your year abroad if you constantly wonder what your bf is doing, who he is with, why he's not messaging you, why he's being cold/blunt, who's that girl he's added on fb etc.

    You could also put your relationship on hold, so you basically tell him to have a break and then get back together when you're back.

    Im currently on my year abroad and my relationship is on hold. I mean i have a gf but i dont. Im not gonna sleep with anybody but at the same time i dont have to message her everyday.

    Message me if you need more advice


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