I've well and truly had enough Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
I've tried so hard.

I have sent out hundreds of job applications - no success. I've applied for small firms, big firms, internships etc. I never hear anything. Or they keep me waiting for 2 months or so, only to send me a rejection. I'm an Oxbridge graduate, with a good degree. I did not work that hard at university for this.

I'm a professionally trained musician. I've spent literally thousands of hours making myself good at what I do. I've contacted hundreds, if not thousands of people in the indsutry. No reply. I feel like I'm talking to a black box. I can't get good gigs if I don't have a good manager, I can't get a manager if I haven't done gigs. I can't get any record company interest if I don't have a manager, and vice versa. I've pursued every possible avenue to try and succeed. What the hell am I supposed to do? I've professionally made over 30 songs, and have thousands of followers, plays and likes on Soundcloud. They can see that people like my stuff. Sometimes I feel like screaming 'what do you want from me'. Why should it be this hard. Other artists just send in one or two demos and these companies are all over them. Other people go on these reality shows and get everything handed to them. I don't believe in all that rubbish about 'if you want something bad enough, you will get it'. It's all about luck it would seem, or something else which I will never understand.

I've never had a boyfriend. I have tried, and tried and tried. I've tried every possible online site, I tried at university etc....nothing. I'm 26 now and I've never even kissed anybody. It didn't bother me before, but it's killing me now. I don't come across as desperate, I'd like to think I look fairly nice, and I'm a good person. And all for what?

I have had enough. Most people, even if one thing is not working out in their life, they have something else going for them. I was such an ambitious person, yet at 26 I find myself still living at home, with no money, no friends, no partner, no career, no success.
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RightSaidJames
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#2
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Bumping as this took a while to be approved
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Extremotroph
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#3
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Are you in a band?
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Viva Emptiness
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Wow, sounds like you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I think when it comes to jobs and stuff, there is a large element of luck, and in my experience it's not what you know, but HOW you come across in an interview or on paper. I was lucky I walked straight into a job after my degree because I made fun of my potential boss within the first ten seconds of my interview - he said later on he knew there and then he was going to hire me.

I'd just like to add I'm not advising you start taking the p*ss out of your interviewers, but a bit of personality definitely goes a long way! Prospective employers must receive hundreds of applications for some jobs and what you need is not a flawless CV, but something that adds something different to it.

As for the personal issues, all I can say is hang in there, it won't be like that forever, and you are DEFINITELY not the only one
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superduper9
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Hey,

Sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time. I want to start off by saying what I've realised in the last 2-3 years. I'm 25 and finding my feet has been quite tough for me too. I graduated from Imperial College in 2011, and immediately after I started my post-grad. In this time, I haven't been to able to keep a steady income (due to the studying involved) and, as a result, no place of my own. I haven't met anyone in that time either which is personally frustrating. Success in my post-grad and career in general is still very much waiting to happen - in other words I haven't tasted the success I was ambitious of achieving. My friends, who, with all due respect, had a less strong academic record at school, have gone on to become very successful financially and personally. Understandably or not, this has got to me (quite a bit at times). However I do realise that things happen at different times for different people - I am keeping my confidence levels up to work towards a success story, hopefully soon.

Don't give up - maybe take a break from music and try something else. If you've got the opportunity, go travelling, even if it's only across to Europe. We're often restricted by what we see around us - travelling breaks that and opens up new possibilities and a broader outlook. At the end of the day, you have a degree from a great institution and musical talent that you're not going to lose any time soon. You may just need a different perspective - which is why I suggested doing something which you haven't done before - volunteering is also another option. The more you think about it, the more pressure you're going to put on yourself. This may come across in your job applications or interviews. Try to relax, take a step back and reassess the situation. I know it's hard and I can relate.

Feel free to pm for a chat any time! Best of luck with everything and I hope you turn the corner very soon
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
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(Original post by Extremotroph)
Are you in a band?
No I'm a solo artist. I write, produce, and master all my own songs.

(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
Wow, sounds like you are having a pretty tough time at the moment. I think when it comes to jobs and stuff, there is a large element of luck, and in my experience it's not what you know, but HOW you come across in an interview or on paper. I was lucky I walked straight into a job after my degree because I made fun of my potential boss within the first ten seconds of my interview - he said later on he knew there and then he was going to hire me.

I'd just like to add I'm not advising you start taking the p*ss out of your interviewers, but a bit of personality definitely goes a long way! Prospective employers must receive hundreds of applications for some jobs and what you need is not a flawless CV, but something that adds something different to it.

As for the personal issues, all I can say is hang in there, it won't be like that forever, and you are DEFINITELY not the only one
But I don't even get invited to interview. I'm sure if they actually gave me an interview I would have a much greater chance as I'm not a shy person, and I generally feel quite confident in interviews.

(Original post by superduper9)
Hey,

Sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time. I want to start off by saying what I've realised in the last 2-3 years. I'm 25 and finding my feet has been quite tough for me too. I graduated from Imperial College in 2011, and immediately after I started my post-grad. In this time, I haven't been to able to keep a steady income (due to the studying involved) and, as a result, no place of my own. I haven't met anyone in that time either which is personally frustrating. Success in my post-grad and career in general is still very much waiting to happen - in other words I haven't tasted the success I was ambitious of achieving. My friends, who, with all due respect, had a less strong academic record at school, have gone on to become very successful financially and personally. Understandably or not, this has got to me (quite a bit at times). However I do realise that things happen at different times for different people - I am keeping my confidence levels up to work towards a success story, hopefully soon.

Don't give up - maybe take a break from music and try something else. If you've got the opportunity, go travelling, even if it's only across to Europe. We're often restricted by what we see around us - travelling breaks that and opens up new possibilities and a broader outlook. At the end of the day, you have a degree from a great institution and musical talent that you're not going to lose any time soon. You may just need a different perspective - which is why I suggested doing something which you haven't done before - volunteering is also another option. The more you think about it, the more pressure you're going to put on yourself. This may come across in your job applications or interviews. Try to relax, take a step back and reassess the situation. I know it's hard and I can relate.

Feel free to pm for a chat any time! Best of luck with everything and I hope you turn the corner very soon
I couldn't even get on a decent post grad course because while my grade was OK, it was not sufficient for postgrad courses. I narrowly missed out on 2.1 (by a couple of marks). I worked almost 12 hours a day, every day for the last year of my degree, and to be honest had I known I would have ended up with a 2.2 I would have not bothered. I don't particularly have any regrets as I couldn't have worked harder, but it annoys me when jobs and other unis see the 2.2 and not my actual percentage. I heard some employers even filter out anything below a 2.1, which probably explains why I never hear anything back from the places I apply.

As for being envious of other people's success, funnily enough I don't feel this way. I could sit at home and moan about all the unfairness in the world and how so and so is richer/more successful than me etc, but I'm a practical person - I will always try to find a way out of a problem. But despite this I still have not succeeded in any area of my life - this is what really gets to me. I'm not coming on TSR due a bad few weeks or so, it's been like this for the past 7-8 years or so, if not my whole adult life.

I can't really 'take a break' from music, in the sense that there is essentially a time limit. I'm already 26, even if someone was interested, by the time I have any kind of success I will be 28 or so, which in the music industry is quite old. It's not coincidence the majority of successful artists are under 30, unless you're a classical or rock musician etc. Jobs related to my degree don't have a shelf-life however, and in that sense I'm no so worried. But it's music I desperately I want to do - I don't want to be one of those embittered 40 something thinking about what life could have been, that's my biggest fear of all.
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Extremotroph
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No I'm a solo artist. I write, produce, and master all my own songs.
What kind of music do you make? I understand if you'd rather keep your soundcloud a secret.
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Lotus_Eater
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#8
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I think your essential problem is that you are trying to break into a creative industry and luck is an enormous part of that. You're also unlucky to be doing this at just the point where even major record labels are struggling.

Perhaps what would help would be to get a standard everyday job and then work towards your dreams in your free time. I realise that's not ideal but at least it will give you some security and self-confidence whilst you persevere. This is a dilemma very common to visual artists, writers, and, yes, musicians.

I don't believe you only have four years to make it. There's no upper age limit on talented singer-songerwriters and the more you play and perform, the more you'll learn of your craft and keep getting better.

Sorry you've had a frustrating time later but please don't get give up.
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