Why can't I believe her when she says she loves me? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
She says I Love You, you're everything to me and you give me reason to live and love again.

Why don't I think she means it? (She's my first)
I seem to struggle to trust. However she's the closest I've ever got to loving someone (besides family/close friends).
I don't know why I doubt her this much. I guess I'd doubt any girl who said this. But at least I doubt her less than I'd doubt the rest...
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FlavaFavourFruit
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#2
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You've said it yourself, you struggle to trust.

Just believe her and be happy you have her
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Lotus_Eater
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I have no idea. Probably serious trust and/or self-esteem issues? Sorry to be blunt but this could be one to try and get other quickly or seek professional help since this could really ruin relationships in the future. Good luck!
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melhoneybee17
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Give it some time to sink in My bf says he truly loves me, but I remember the time when we were just friends and he went on for months about his "perfect" ex, atm I cant truly believe him, even though I love him and cant imagine life without him, so I know how you feel. Just give it some time, and try to let it sink in and accept it It's what im going to try and do with my bf. Like people have said before me, just be happy you have her
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reapingunicorn32
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She says I Love You, you're everything to me and you give me reason to live and love again.

Why don't I think she means it? (She's my first)
I seem to struggle to trust. However she's the closest I've ever got to loving someone (besides family/close friends).
I don't know why I doubt her this much. I guess I'd doubt any girl who said this. But at least I doubt her less than I'd doubt the rest...
How long have you been going out? How much do you know about her? Has she's said/ done anything that would make you question her trust? And how come you struggle to trust?
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vickyhunt
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Maybe you just need time to realise she really does mean it?
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atkbm
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Apparently, true love begins when your 21 or 23 or something. Personally, give it time because she your first or maybe you don't love her as much as you think in return?
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Crimsonyte
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Just be straight up and ask her this Haha!

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xoxAngel_Kxox
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I was like this when I first got with my partner; because I was a "late starter" and had seen so many friends tell people they loved them, only to break up with them a few months down the line.

But you have to go with how it feels when you're together, and just work on what's good for the two of you. If it feels good, keep at it, and true, true love may blossom. It may not, of course, but if we never tried we'd never love.

You will learn, in time, to trust her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Lotus_Eater)
I have no idea. Probably serious trust and/or self-esteem issues? Sorry to be blunt but this could be one to try and get other quickly or seek professional help since this could really ruin relationships in the future. Good luck!

(Original post by reapingunicorn32)
How long have you been going out? How much do you know about her? Has she's said/ done anything that would make you question her trust? And how come you struggle to trust?
It's been 7 months official now, we've been seeing each other for over a year though I know a lot, she's trusted me with a lot of secrets, desires, fears, worries, hopes, dreams, you name it.
Sometimes I get jealous about her talking about guy friends, or insecure when she goes quiet, distant and moody (such as today; eventually opened up to me she was over-stressed). But no, nothing to genuinely make me question her trust.
I'm still recovering from my parent's divorce which has left me with anxiety such as thinking
a) Love is a lie
b) Nothing is carved in stone, trust nothing
c) All women are lying, controlling *****es/women think men like me (and my dad) are needy and pathetic (mum was control freak/dad was whipped)

These have become a lot more reasonable and balanced views over time, but still this is the most I've ever opened to someone, so it's quite difficult to accept. And as I'm nearly 21, I have a somewhat jaded view of relationships in uni anyway.
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techno-thriller
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Because you know its not true.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by techno-thriller)
Because you know its not true.
Why wouldn't it be true?
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techno-thriller
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why wouldn't it be true?
Because you have doubts. That's probably your instinct telling you she's bull****in but then again only you know.
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Journeyzap
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Ignore this! Somehow I've posted on the wrong thread
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Lotus_Eater
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's been 7 months official now, we've been seeing each other for over a year though I know a lot, she's trusted me with a lot of secrets, desires, fears, worries, hopes, dreams, you name it.
Sometimes I get jealous about her talking about guy friends, or insecure when she goes quiet, distant and moody (such as today; eventually opened up to me she was over-stressed). But no, nothing to genuinely make me question her trust.
I'm still recovering from my parent's divorce which has left me with anxiety such as thinking
a) Love is a lie
b) Nothing is carved in stone, trust nothing
c) All women are lying, controlling *****es/women think men like me (and my dad) are needy and pathetic (mum was control freak/dad was whipped)

These have become a lot more reasonable and balanced views over time, but still this is the most I've ever opened to someone, so it's quite difficult to accept. And as I'm nearly 21, I have a somewhat jaded view of relationships in uni anyway.
The thing to be really careful about is the points a), b), and c) don't become a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you're always withholding trust and presuming the worst will happen, that sort of encourages the worst to happen.

You can't see your parents as a template for all relationships. Plenty of people have successful relationships so you know it's not the case that all women or all men behave in particular ways.

The final point I'd make is that it is okay for a relationship to end. Hopefully it doesn't but just because you split up in five years time (or whatever), doesn't invalidate the happiness you had.

If you try to stay self-aware and rational, I imagine your anxieties will diminish over time.
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ThoughtIsFree
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She says I Love You, you're everything to me and you give me reason to live and love again.

Why don't I think she means it? (She's my first)
I seem to struggle to trust. However she's the closest I've ever got to loving someone (besides family/close friends).
I don't know why I doubt her this much. I guess I'd doubt any girl who said this. But at least I doubt her less than I'd doubt the rest...
i didn't believe my ex when i said it, and judging by how soon after we broke up i definitely don't think he meant it. trust your instincs. another possibility is it's because you don't like her as much as she likes you, i think you tend to assume the person your with feels the same way oyou do
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sosadsosad
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You're insecure, I don't know what for?
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