Gay oral on first date, does it make me bad? Watch

just curious
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Yesterday I met a guy I spoke to online. We had lunch and coffee and stuff and then because my room was nearby where we were and we had nowhere to go we went back to my place and watched a film (we sat on my bed). Then all of a sudden when it ended he started feeling me up and stuff and I couldn't help it and got excited and we ended up basically sucking each other off. It was my first time and it was fun but I feel kinda bad 'cause I never thought I'd do something like this on my first date. Or before getting married... I know people are liberal nowadays and this kinda stuff is not looked up as anything bad but I don't know how to feel about it. do you think what I did makes me slutty/cheap/sad???
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hollywoodbudgie
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Only you can answer that for yourself, everyone has different standards and that doesn't make them any less of a human being.

However, I'd guess by you going as far as making a thread about what you did, that you're not feeling too happy about it now, and that's not a good sign. So maybe take things slower in the future, and make sure you only do something you feel comfortable with doing- not just at the moment, but in hindsight too.

For now though, chin up. Think of it as a learning experience x
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Little Wolf Taima
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You're a guy. Nothing you do in bed will make you bad.

Lol

In all seriousness I think this lady says it well. Do you plan on meeting again? I met my boyfriend online, and came around to him, watched a movie and ended up having sex on the first 'date'. The thing is I'm sure you spent alot of time talking prior to this meetup and no one seems to find one night stands morally objectionable. Why not someone you're actually into? And you seem like a pretty morally conscious guy..

(Original post by hollywoodbudgie)
Only you can answer that for yourself, everyone has different standards and that doesn't make them any less of a human being.

However, I'd guess by you going as far as making a thread about what you did, that you're not feeling too happy about it now, and that's not a good sign. So maybe take things slower in the future, and make sure you only do something you feel comfortable with doing- not just at the moment, but in hindsight too.

For now though, chin up. Think of it as a learning experience x
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IlexBlue
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(Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
You're a guy. Nothing you do in bed will make you bad.
/end thread, really.

But it's not a big deal, OP, no. Obviously if you're feeling uncomfortable now, try and hold back in the future

I always find the "just couldn't help it" part funny, though. More like a matter of "just really wanted to."
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SoftPunch
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(Original post by just curious)
Yesterday I met a guy I spoke to online. We had lunch and coffee and stuff and then because my room was nearby where we were and we had nowhere to go we went back to my place and watched a film (we sat on my bed). Then all of a sudden when it ended he started feeling me up and stuff and I couldn't help it and got excited and we ended up basically sucking each other off. It was my first time and it was fun but I feel kinda bad 'cause I never thought I'd do something like this on my first date. Or before getting married... I know people are liberal nowadays and this kinda stuff is not looked up as anything bad but I don't know how to feel about it. do you think what I did makes me slutty/cheap/sad???
No, it just means you can't hold yourself from not doing it, but then...
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Noble.
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(Original post by cambio wechsel)
if he gives you one and you don't reciprocate you're not gay but are stingy.

I'd sooner be gay than that, but your mileage may vary.
:lol: Couldn't have put it better myself
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Lotus_Eater
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I don't know whether it makes you a bad person. It certainly makes you a good date!
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Alpha brah
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You certainly move fast. Whether you want to or not, well, that's up to you

If it makes you feel bad and uncomfortable, or you think you might regret it later, slow down next time. But it definitely doesn't make you "bad". ^_^
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danny111
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(Original post by just curious)
Yesterday I met a guy I spoke to online. We had lunch and coffee and stuff and then because my room was nearby where we were and we had nowhere to go we went back to my place and watched a film (we sat on my bed). Then all of a sudden when it ended he started feeling me up and stuff and I couldn't help it and got excited and we ended up basically sucking each other off. It was my first time and it was fun but I feel kinda bad 'cause I never thought I'd do something like this on my first date. Or before getting married... I know people are liberal nowadays and this kinda stuff is not looked up as anything bad but I don't know how to feel about it. do you think what I did makes me slutty/cheap/sad???
Are you even for real?

You're gay and yet seem to dislike having a liberal attitude and even hold to Christian views about sex and marriage, when the Church is hardly a fan of gays.
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just curious
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(Original post by hollywoodbudgie)
Only you can answer that for yourself, everyone has different standards and that doesn't make them any less of a human being.

However, I'd guess by you going as far as making a thread about what you did, that you're not feeling too happy about it now, and that's not a good sign. So maybe take things slower in the future, and make sure you only do something you feel comfortable with doing- not just at the moment, but in hindsight too.

For now though, chin up. Think of it as a learning experience x
Thanks, really nice post.

(Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
You're a guy. Nothing you do in bed will make you bad.

Lol

In all seriousness I think this lady says it well. Do you plan on meeting again? I met my boyfriend online, and came around to him, watched a movie and ended up having sex on the first 'date'. The thing is I'm sure you spent alot of time talking prior to this meetup and no one seems to find one night stands morally objectionable. Why not someone you're actually into? And you seem like a pretty morally conscious guy..
I don't think we have much in common intellectually (I think he agrees), so if we were to meet again, I know that it's just gonna end up with the same thing happening. I kinda want it to happen again but feel like I shouldn't. Rather wait and do it with someone I really love.
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just curious
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(Original post by Alpha brah)
You certainly move fast. Whether you want to or not, well, that's up to you

If it makes you feel bad and uncomfortable, or you think you might regret it later, slow down next time. But it definitely doesn't make you "bad". ^_^
Thanks. In the middle of it all I did ask him "are you sure we should be doing this" and he said that he liked me so I just went along with it. Confusing.
(Original post by danny111)
Are you even for real?

You're gay and yet seem to dislike having a liberal attitude and even hold to Christian views about sex and marriage, when the Church is hardly a fan of gays.
I was raised as a Christian, what's wrong with that? I just feel like it's not a good thing to go sleeping around (eg. would you brag about it to your parents?)
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dlaiden
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(Original post by just curious)

I was raised as a Christian, what's wrong with that? I just feel like it's not a good thing to go sleeping around (eg. would you brag about it to your parents?)
Ignore him. It isn't contradictory, contrary to popular belief, to be gay and Christian, nor does it necessarily follow from being gay that you have to abandon traditional moral standards. As above posters have said, you clearly feel uncomfortable with what you've done, so taking it slow might be for the best next time. And if this guy is more interested in what he wants than what you're comfortable with in the future, the relationship might not be worth it or at the very least you'll have to have some sort of discussion.




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TheJay92
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(Original post by just curious)
I don't think we have much in common intellectually (I think he agrees), so if we were to meet again, I know that it's just gonna end up with the same thing happening. I kinda want it to happen again but feel like I shouldn't. Rather wait and do it with someone I really love.
it sounds like to be it's going to become a booty call situation whereby you'll just hook up with him and nothing more

would you be satisfied with that? or do you want something more?
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Little Wolf Taima
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(Original post by just curious)
Thanks, really nice post.


I don't think we have much in common intellectually (I think he agrees), so if we were to meet again, I know that it's just gonna end up with the same thing happening. I kinda want it to happen again but feel like I shouldn't. Rather wait and do it with someone I really love.
Well if you're honest enough to acknowledge that and dont want to just use eachother, you're certainly not a bad person x

I want to give you a huge cuddle...
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hobbit_
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(Original post by just curious)
Yesterday I met a guy I spoke to online. We had lunch and coffee and stuff and then because my room was nearby where we were and we had nowhere to go we went back to my place and watched a film (we sat on my bed). Then all of a sudden when it ended he started feeling me up and stuff and I couldn't help it and got excited and we ended up basically sucking each other off. It was my first time and it was fun but I feel kinda bad 'cause I never thought I'd do something like this on my first date. Or before getting married... I know people are liberal nowadays and this kinda stuff is not looked up as anything bad but I don't know how to feel about it. do you think what I did makes me slutty/cheap/sad???
You're not slutty and you're not sad. Earlier in the autumn I did pretty much the same thing. I met a guy online one sunday and we chatted intensely for a week and on the saturday following we arranged to meet. He wined and dined me and we went for a romantic walk along the river and then made out on a bench which was the first time I'd properly kissed anyone. Then we went back to his and we went the whole way; and in terms of giving oral it was only me that did. I felt a bit strange when we went to sleep, because it was a totally new experience for me -- everything, pretty much. And like you I am a Christian (though I wasn't raised as one).

The point to hold on to is whether you feel what happened happened because of something intimate between you, or whether you were adulterating intimacy by adding dross to it (mechanical going through the motions of sex). With me and my partner (we have kept it up) it was a case of what he likes to call complicity: sharing something special together. And from my perspective, it's a chance to celebrate my sexuality with integrity and dignity before God.

I think at the end of the day we always have to have love for others -- even those with whom we might not yet be head over heels in 'love' with. We have to want the best for the other -- to treat them as we would treat ourselves. So when I sucked my boyfriend off for the first time, it was with a sense of enriching him and letting him see that I enjoyed it. I took pleasure in him: I made him feel special. I was loving him how I would wished to be treated myself (in the essential sense -- I'm not massively keen on anyone going down hand or mouth on me myself).

But as with all new experiences, it takes some getting used to. For a while I couldn't actually orgasm with my boyfriend, because I was too nervous. But then it happened. It's always dynamic and always a progression. But if you have the right intentions and the right heart, I don't think you can go far wrong.
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just curious
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(Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
Well if you're honest enough to acknowledge that and dont want to just use eachother, you're certainly not a bad person x

I want to give you a huge cuddle...
Aww thanks. Sometimes i get jealous of girls (cause you get the straight boys) but you're so nice!!!
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just curious
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(Original post by hobbit_)
Then we went back to his and we went the whole way; and in terms of giving oral it was only me that did. I felt a bit strange when we went to sleep, because it was a totally new experience for me -- everything, pretty much. And like you I am a Christian
Yeah it was really completely new to me too, couldn't quite believe it was happening. The difference is you seem to love him but I'm not there yet..

The point to hold on to is whether you feel what happened happened because of something intimate between you, or whether you were adulterating intimacy by adding dross to it (mechanical going through the motions of sex). With me and my partner (we have kept it up) it was a case of what he likes to call complicity: sharing something special together. And from my perspective, it's a chance to celebrate my sexuality with integrity and dignity before God.
So is he Christian too? What you say about celebrating sexuality makes sense, but I do still feel like we (gay people) shouldn't be doing it before marriage (but that's another topic).

I think at the end of the day we always have to have love for others -- even those with whom we might not yet be head over heels in 'love' with. We have to want the best for the other -- to treat them as we would treat ourselves. So when I sucked my boyfriend off for the first time, it was with a sense of enriching him and letting him see that I enjoyed it. I took pleasure in him: I made him feel special. I was loving him how I would wished to be treated myself (in the essential sense -- I'm not massively keen on anyone going down hand or mouth on me myself).
Yeah same here, loved going down, definitely felt a lot better than getting it myself. How did you guys meet btw? What site? Anyway I'm happy for you, seems like you have a great thing going on
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Kvothe the Arcane
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Why the hell not?
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ForgetMe
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(Original post by a10)
thanks for your comment. Is there anything else you would like to add ?


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its called expressing my point that what OP said was graphically disturbing to me you dumb f.
Oh I could pick on your grammar but I'll please myself next time :sexface:
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SoftPunch
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(Original post by ForgetMe)
Oh I could pick on your grammar but I'll please myself next time :sexface:
Supporting anti-bullying, eh?
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