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    Hi,

    I'm having some issues with a flatmate of mine. It's only this person, no-one else. We simply just don't go well together, but the main problem is that we share the same friends too, so they are around constantly.

    I was first not aware that we did not go too well together before we moved in. I found them somewhat annoying at times during assignments and they had some personal issues such as longing for an ex after a messy break-up which they talked about constantly. This has calmed down a fair bit now, and I didn't realise how bad living with them would be before a week into our living arrangements.

    This person always breaks into my conversation with our friends, which is fair enough, but they also always want to be right. It properly ticks me off that they can't stay away from throwing in snide remarks about what's happening in the group we're in which either makes me look stupid or uninformed, and that they also spread a lot of gossip around; that said, our group is a very gossip-y mess, and there's always some sort of drama. Basically, this person keeps trying to get into things they have nothing to do with, and things that should be kept secret is told to others as soon as possible (i suspect).

    I have considered moving out, that's how bad it is. I can't stand living with this person. There's much more, but I can't really go into detail in case this person finds this post. At the same time I love being in this house and with my other flatmates. The person I've falled out with doesn't like the house or the other people we live with (I live in a 8-bed private house).

    Any ideas to what I can do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I'm having some issues with a flatmate of mine. It's only this person, no-one else. We simply just don't go well together, but the main problem is that we share the same friends too, so they are around constantly.

    I was first not aware that we did not go too well together before we moved in. I found them somewhat annoying at times during assignments and they had some personal issues such as longing for an ex after a messy break-up which they talked about constantly. This has calmed down a fair bit now, and I didn't realise how bad living with them would be before a week into our living arrangements.

    This person always breaks into my conversation with our friends, which is fair enough, but they also always want to be right. It properly ticks me off that they can't stay away from throwing in snide remarks about what's happening in the group we're in which either makes me look stupid or uninformed, and that they also spread a lot of gossip around; that said, our group is a very gossip-y mess, and there's always some sort of drama. Basically, this person keeps trying to get into things they have nothing to do with, and things that should be kept secret is told to others as soon as possible (i suspect).

    I have considered moving out, that's how bad it is. I can't stand living with this person. There's much more, but I can't really go into detail in case this person finds this post. At the same time I love being in this house and with my other flatmates. The person I've falled out with doesn't like the house or the other people we live with (I live in a 8-bed private house).

    Any ideas to what I can do?
    Sorry you're having an unpleasant time, it sounds like a very frustrating situation. It seems like you don't really want to move out, so you should probably try to find a different solution.

    Is it just you having difficulties with the flatmate, or are others have trouble getting along with them?

    Try to find something about the person that you like or some area where you connect, and focus on that and laugh off the negative. His/her hostility may die down over time and while you might never be best mates, you'll be able to get on fine in social situations.

    Try to be a little compassionate about the break up. He/she was probably really messed up at the time and talking about it was their way of dealing with it. Perhaps he/she felt your irritation at it and felt you didn't care, which exacerbated the bad feelings.

    It's probably not what you want to hear, but unless all your friends abandon him/her, you're always going to have a bad time with the group unless you two can improve your relationship.

    Good luck
 
 
 
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