Worried what he'll think of my body Watch

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This weekend is my 21st birthday and I'm going out in london with my friends to celebrate. I have recently started dating this guy (he's 19) and we've been on a few dates. All we've done so far is kiss. I am still a virgin and he knows this. He is (most certainly) not a stranger to sex. He has never once pushed me to have sex with him - he's not even suggested it! As I've said, I'm going out in london and, as I live outside of central london, I've asked him if I can stay at his afterwards. He said yes but I'm not sure if he now thinks I want to sleep with him. I actually would like to sleep with him but I'm not sure if it's too soon or not (I've only known him for about three weeks) and as we're going out to celebrate we'll probably have had a lot to drink and I think I'd prefer to be sober (or at least not really drunk) for my first time. I know that if I told him I didn't want to he wouldn't push me.

However, today I went out and bought some new underwear just in case... I would still like to have some decent underwear in case a situation arises (not necessarily full-blown sex) in which he sees me without clothes on. I bought a new bra and three different styles of knickers: brazilian, high-leg, and bikini. Out of those three the one I feel looks the nicest (in relation to my pear shaped figure) is the bikini briefs. The high legs are the most comfortable but I think they make me look wide, as do the brazilian ones which aren't as comfortable as I thought they'd be. The thing is, I'm am not 100% confident with my body.

Over the past 2 years I have lost over 3 stone. I used to be a size 16 and I now wear a size 10. I am about 5'3. I am a lot more confident with my body than I ever have been and I'm a more outgoing person than I ever was at school. But while I look quite slim with clothes on, I still have flabby legs, bum, etc. I can deal with all that but my real hang up is my stomach. I still have this overhang, pooch thing going on and it makes me really self-conscious. Obviously, with the bikini briefs, this is going to be on full show and I'm really worried that this guy won't like what he sees. He keeps commenting on how slim I look compared to old photos of myself but, obviously, he's not seen me without clothes on.

I don't want to post a picture of myself on here but if I had to show you guys what it kind of looks like, I guess this photo of Kelly Osbourne is close enough (but with much smaller boobs):

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This image is from a slideshow of 'The Worst Celebrity Beach Bodies' and the caption reads: 'Kelly Osbourne would get poor reviews on “Fashion Police” if her E! co-stars saw her belly protruding out of this bikini.' This has made me really, really nervous. When I sit down I get the inevitable, dreaded rolls... I know this is quite normal for a lot of girls but I certainly wouldn't mind having a flatter stomach. I know I could get one by doing exercise (that's how I lost the weight in the first place) but obviously there's nothing I can do before saturday! I'm so worried that this guy (who I really like) will be put off. I'm sure he doesn't have a perfect body and I know you're all going to say 'if he doesn't like you for who you are, he's not worth it' but I'd just like a little reassurance from guys who don't mind a little belly fat!

Thanks for all your help in advance.
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awe
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You need to get over the image in your head that you obviously think of the 'perfect' figure. There is no perfect figure - there is a sexy, comfortable body of whatever size you happen to be. If he is anyone you should want to be sleeping with, he will find the female body - the female body who is about to have sex with him, particularly - unbelievably sexy. An hourglass figure with a tiny waist is not the only thing that will get a guy hard and turned on, and I know many guys who prefer everything but that.

I wouldn't worry about it being 'too soon'. If you want to have sex, you have sex (safely)! Don't wonder about social convention telling you it's too soon, don't worry about him wondering if you're 'easy' etc. You want to have sex so freaking do! (:

It's great you got new underwear though; pick the one that makes you feel most confident and comfortable. Thick, wide sexy hips are especially wonderful - wear the high legs if they're comfy! If you want to be sober for the first time (a very very good idea, although one little drink might help make you more comfortable) then do be so. Chances are he'll also be happier without lots of alcohol in him too, even if he won't admit to it. Remember there is also the possibility of morning sex if you don't want to do it drunk. The best wake up is a sexy wake up.

Please don't worry about how you look. Think about what you are gonna do to him, what he might do to you! He knows you're a virgin, so hint that you want to try foreplay first; it will make you more comfortable and confident too. Smile, keep eye-contact, be light-hearted. Just throw any worries away and enjoy yourself. You will love your first time so, so much more if you just accept yourself and go with the 'flow'! Have fun.
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by awe)
You need to get over the image in your head that you obviously think of the 'perfect' figure. There is no perfect figure - there is a sexy, comfortable body of whatever size you happen to be. If he is anyone you should want to be sleeping with, he will find the female body - the female body who is about to have sex with him, particularly - unbelievably sexy. An hourglass figure with a tiny waist is not the only thing that will get a guy hard and turned on, and I know many guys who prefer everything but that.

I wouldn't worry about it being 'too soon'. If you want to have sex, you have sex (safely)! Don't wonder about social convention telling you it's too soon, don't worry about him wondering if you're 'easy' etc. You want to have sex so freaking do! (:

It's great you got new underwear though; pick the one that makes you feel most confident and comfortable. Thick, wide sexy hips are especially wonderful - wear the high legs if they're comfy! If you want to be sober for the first time (a very very good idea, although one little drink might help make you more comfortable) then do be so. Chances are he'll also be happier without lots of alcohol in him too, even if he won't admit to it. Remember there is also the possibility of morning sex if you don't want to do it drunk. The best wake up is a sexy wake up.

Please don't worry about how you look. Think about what you are gonna do to him, what he might do to you! He knows you're a virgin, so hint that you want to try foreplay first; it will make you more comfortable and confident too. Smile, keep eye-contact, be light-hearted. Just throw any worries away and enjoy yourself. You will love your first time so, so much more if you just accept yourself and go with the 'flow'! Have fun.
Thanks for all your advice. I really don't know if anything will happen - I guess I'll have to wait and see. I'm just worried that since I haven't known him for very long that if I sleep with him now he'll go off the boil. I was going to wait at least a month (one of my friends even suggested waiting three months because I'm a virgin but I thought that was too long!) but because of going out for my birthday and sleeping over at his, I guess a situation in which we could sleep together has come about a bit sooner than I anticipated.

May I just ask your personal opinion of the picture of Kelly Osbourne? Obviously I know appearance is subjective, but would you say her stomach is unattractive?
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CJKay
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That kind of body is fine. If he's anything like me, a little bit of chubbiness is endearing and can be really sexy at the same time.
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Bassetts
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Honestly, he's going to be happy he's actually getting some. He won't care if your body is a little bit chubby.

Contrary to what the media shove down our throats, it's women who have the picky requirements for a man's body, not the other way round. It's women who put pressure on other women for their bodies, not men.
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matt_g96
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(Original post by Bassetts)
Honestly, he's going to be happy he's actually getting some. He won't care if your body is a little bit chubby.

Contrary to what the media shove down our throats, it's women who have the picky requirements for a man's body, not the other way round. It's women who put pressure on other women for their bodies, not men.
couldnt have said it better myself.
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by Bassetts)
Honestly, he's going to be happy he's actually getting some. He won't care if your body is a little bit chubby.

Contrary to what the media shove down our throats, it's women who have the picky requirements for a man's body, not the other way round. It's women who put pressure on other women for their bodies, not men.
That's nice to know. Guys on the internet usually seem to be very judgemental. I saw a pic of Eva Longoria not looking her best (stomach overhang in a bikini) and there were some really nasty comments from guys saying she looked gross. This guy has had a lot of sexual partners in the past so I'm sure he's slept with girls of all different body types, but this is my first relationship and I really want it to go well.
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awe
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(Original post by ihasaquestion)
Thanks for all your advice. I really don't know if anything will happen - I guess I'll have to wait and see. I'm just worried that since I haven't known him for very long that if I sleep with him now he'll go off the boil. I was going to wait at least a month (one of my friends even suggested waiting three months because I'm a virgin but I thought that was too long!) but because of going out for my birthday and sleeping over at his, I guess a situation in which we could sleep together has come about a bit sooner than I anticipated.

May I just ask your personal opinion of the picture of Kelly Osbourne? Obviously I know appearance is subjective, but would you say her stomach is unattractive?
I really just say - if you want sex, have it. Men always do! There's a social convention that the men can seemingly just have it when they want for whatever reason without worrying, but girls have to think about why they're doing it early or late, what he will think, what others will think, whether or not it's 'sexy' to do it before a certain amount of time, whether it will turn them off afterwards... just stop worrying about what others think. You want to have it - so have it for yourself, not because it's a good time etc.

I think Kelly looks great, and I bet regardless of how she looks, her partner absolutely relishes their time in bed together for many reasons. :P Remember celebrities fluctuate all the time which gives them 'unnatural' figures, and also that the paps will wait until they do anything remotely unflattering to get a shot of it...
My partner is a big belly, which I adore. He also has many stretch marks and scars from severe acne, over much of his back and arms. I don't give a crap. I think they're genuinely interesting and add character to his body, he wouldn't be 'mine' without them. There is nothing negative about them or his body shape to me - and I'm sure I'm the same with all my flaws, but I know he loves me not regardless of them, but for them. And we can show that love in bed! Give your possible partner chance to do the same. Once you are more experienced, you will realise how little these visual things matter. But I definitely remember feeling the same way before I slept with my boyfriend.
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Daniellejo.
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That Kelly Osbourne picture is one of the most ridiculous entries I've seen on these 'body slamming' lists.
Her body looks perfectly normal to me, and dare I say it; a little nice. :dontknow:
Seriously, 99% of guys aren't gonna care about a tiny bit of belly if they're getting their end away. Once you realise and accept this it is a truly liberating moment lol.
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McFlury
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Just turn off the lights
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ElChapo
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Pussy is pussy some might say

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I feel the same way. The guy I'm kinda dating is ripped. He's very much in shape with a six pack and works out regularly. And then there's me, I'm not fat or anything but i'm not toned. I'm skinny-fat. It'll be embarrassing when we actually have sex because I feel like he'll judge
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awe
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel the same way. The guy I'm kinda dating is ripped. He's very much in shape with a six pack and works out regularly. And then there's me, I'm not fat or anything but i'm not toned. I'm skinny-fat. It'll be embarrassing when we actually have sex because I feel like he'll judge
If he judges you for something physical, particularly while you are being so kind as to sleep with him, he is not someone worth sleeping with. Just my opinion.
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pinkbullets
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I'm a girl but I don't think the Kelly Osbourne picture looks that bad? If you have a similar figure to her then I'd say you're doing pretty well for yourself.
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canadamoose
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The Kelly Osbourne photo looks like a lot of girls I know who are considered to have good figures. The "pooch" in the front that you spoke about is natural on a woman's body, so I wouldn't worry about it at all!

Also, I've never heard of a guy decide that he didn't want to have sex after seeing a girl naked. Clothes add on a layer, making you technically bigger when you wear them. You're smaller without the clothes. Think of it that way.
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by awe)
I really just say - if you want sex, have it. Men always do! There's a social convention that the men can seemingly just have it when they want for whatever reason without worrying, but girls have to think about why they're doing it early or late, what he will think, what others will think, whether or not it's 'sexy' to do it before a certain amount of time, whether it will turn them off afterwards... just stop worrying about what others think. You want to have it - so have it for yourself, not because it's a good time etc.

I think Kelly looks great, and I bet regardless of how she looks, her partner absolutely relishes their time in bed together for many reasons. :P Remember celebrities fluctuate all the time which gives them 'unnatural' figures, and also that the paps will wait until they do anything remotely unflattering to get a shot of it...
My partner is a big belly, which I adore. He also has many stretch marks and scars from severe acne, over much of his back and arms. I don't give a crap. I think they're genuinely interesting and add character to his body, he wouldn't be 'mine' without them. There is nothing negative about them or his body shape to me - and I'm sure I'm the same with all my flaws, but I know he loves me not regardless of them, but for them. And we can show that love in bed! Give your possible partner chance to do the same. Once you are more experienced, you will realise how little these visual things matter. But I definitely remember feeling the same way before I slept with my boyfriend.
I'm lucky enough to have a relationship with my mum whereby I am able to discuss these things with her and she feels like it's too soon. I haven't known him for very long and we haven't done anything but kiss. I've only actually met him four times in total. My sister (who is 17 but has had a boyfriend for over a year) said she thought it was slutty, since I've never even been intimate with anyone before, to just jump into bed with him. I think part of the reason I'm seriously considering it is because I'm going to be 21 and I'm getting fed up of being a virgin if that makes any sense... I think I feel emotionally ready (and have done for a while) and now this opportunity has emerged. No guy has ever been interested in me before (as in ever - he is the first guy to ever ask me out. I was VERY fat at school.) It's true that I don't know him that well but I feel comfortable in his company and he seems to be very sensitive to the fact that I am a virgin and isn't pushy at all. It's not like, for example, if this relationship didn't work out, that since I'd have lost my virginity I'd hop from guy to guy for sex because that's not something I want to do. I like this guy and would like to have a proper relationship with him which is why I'm considering sleeping with him. This would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't a virgin but the fact that I am is making it more difficult to make a decision since your first time is supposedly special... Any advice?
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lizlaz350
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There's really nothing wrong with the way Kelly Osborne looks in that picture at all.

You'll be fine, he really will just be happy enough that he's having sex, he won't care and to be honest, it really doesn't sound like you should care either.

If you're ready then you'll know you're ready and if you have any doubts then just wait a bit. However, if you're only doubting it because your mum and sister disapprove then don't worry, they don't know a thing.
I had only been known my boyfriend for 3 and a half weeks when I lost my virginity to him and it was only the second time we'd met. But we'd spoken every day and gotten on so well that I didn't care that we hadn't known each other long because I liked him and I knew I was ready, I didn't doubt it at all. Other people told me I made a mistake but I don't really care because they don't know the situation like I did and now 20 months later, I still know I made the right decision.
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Quilt
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Clothes don't hide EVERYTHING you know, this guy will have a good idea as to what your size and shape is. A size 10 is not fat and Kelly Osborne in that picture definitely doesn't look bad! I'm pretty self-conscious about my body too but being with my boyfriend a long time has made me realise that guys really don't care as much as we think they do about a little fat here and there.

Confidence is suppose to be sexy, so try not to get caught up about it
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Plantagenet Crown
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That body looks perfectly fine, you have nothing to worry about :dontknow:
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ihasaquestion
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(Original post by lizlaz350)
There's really nothing wrong with the way Kelly Osborne looks in that picture at all.

You'll be fine, he really will just be happy enough that he's having sex, he won't care and to be honest, it really doesn't sound like you should care either.

If you're ready then you'll know you're ready and if you have any doubts then just wait a bit. However, if you're only doubting it because your mum and sister disapprove then don't worry, they don't know a thing.
I had only been known my boyfriend for 3 and a half weeks when I lost my virginity to him and it was only the second time we'd met. But we'd spoken every day and gotten on so well that I didn't care that we hadn't known each other long because I liked him and I knew I was ready, I didn't doubt it at all. Other people told me I made a mistake but I don't really care because they don't know the situation like I did and now 20 months later, I still know I made the right decision.
Obviously every couple is different. I have one friend who lost her virginity to a guy she wasn't dating at the time (they knew each other and had flirted, etc. but that's it). He was sleeping on her sofa and she invited him into her bed. Over a year later and they're still together. But he is a few years older than the guy I'm seeing so he's probably a bit more mature than him (he's 19 and has had a lot of casual sex in the past). I don't want to sleep with him for him to lose interest. That's what I'm most worried about I guess. I haven't known him very long but I really want this to turn into a proper relationship.
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