No sexual gratification whatsoever on my first 2 times, wtf? Watch

Anonymous #1
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On my first time, admittedly i was a bit drunk and i took a little wiggly-wig for the boner to kick in, wore a condom ofc, durex elite which is supposed to give heightened sensitivity and well, i couldn't even feel it go in. I didn't get any sexual gratification from it whatsoever, it was almost just like excercise. A bit confused, i automatically blamed it on the alcohol, which seemed like a legitimate reason.

Second time round, same person, again condom on, this time practically sobre. The good news is that i had an erection all night long, even the next morning as soon as i woke up and saw her next to me, BAM, up again in a shot. Unfortunately again, no sexual gratification. I remember when she was down on me, that i closed my eyes and it was almost as if she wasn't even there. I couldn't even feel my penis on my body, it was so weird! So i thought to myself either she's comlpetely crap in bed or because i'm circumcised i can't feel anything with a condom on, regardless of the make. Talked to a mate of mine, he said i probably wasn't that into it and that was the reason. I wasn't in the moment, i was too in my own head, worrying and being nervous. I did feel nervous and worried on my first time, but not so much the second time. Though i did feel like i wasn't in the moment that much. But the fact that i couldn't even feel myself go in and felt like i couldn't even feel my own penis when she went down sends alarm bells in my head.

What could this mean? Should i see a doctor? is this normal?
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Anonymous #2
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You'll be in an circle now, unless you break it. You were worried and nervous so you didn't finish. The next time you worry you won't finish, and that worry means you don't and so on. You need to get out of your own head. Sadly I don't yet know how to.
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Octopus_Garden
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Get one of those condoms and put it on by yourself, and see whether you can feel anything then. Try and accustom yourself to it. Prod and poke, to see if you can feel anything. Relax and practise with it on, without the pressure to climax that you had last night.

If it still feels numb, I would investigate latex allergy. I'm not a doctor though, so I could be wrong, and maybe a latex allergy would be entirely different. Non-latex condoms are available, and men who aren't allergic sometimes buy them, because they say non-latex feels better in itself.
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sosadsosad
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Wiggly-wig ... a little wiggly-wig ... :hmmmm2: ... you took a little wiggly-wig ...

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sosadsosad)
Wiggly-wig ... a little wiggly-wig ... :hmmmm2: ... you took a little wiggly-wig ...

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shook it about for a bit
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sosadsosad
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(Original post by Anonymous)
shook it about for a bit
But why?
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Anonymous #3
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Hey my boyfriend is exactly like this, and I don't know why! I thought maybe circumcision doesn't help, and condoms. He won't give it a try without condoms, but I don't know if it would make a massive difference anyway. It's like you said, he just can't feel very much at all.

Maybe TMI, but did you manage to...finish? My boyfriend never has. He can sometimes manage to finish with oral, but it's not easy. Sex though, nope.

I'd like to know if you find a way to solve this, because I want to help my boyfriend feel something from sex! Ha.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by sosadsosad)
But why?
To get an erection, because i was too drunk to get it on my own

(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey my boyfriend is exactly like this, and I don't know why! I thought maybe circumcision doesn't help, and condoms. He won't give it a try without condoms, but I don't know if it would make a massive difference anyway. It's like you said, he just can't feel very much at all.

Maybe TMI, but did you manage to...finish? My boyfriend never has. He can sometimes manage to finish with oral, but it's not easy. Sex though, nope.

I'd like to know if you find a way to solve this, because I want to help my boyfriend feel something from sex! Ha.
I did not finish -_-
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Arieisit
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To get an erection, because i was too drunk to get it on my own
I did not finish -_-
Do you masturbate a lot? This could be a factor.

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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To get an erection, because i was too drunk to get it on my own



I did not finish -_-
Ah, sorry to hear that! I wonder sometimes if the problem with my boyfriend is that he is too used to rough sensations. Like, he masturbates a lot, and I used to give him hand jobs a lot which is basically the same roughness. So I've stopped doing them now, and I keep using oral to maybe help him get used to the subtle sensations more. I don't know if you could have the same problems?
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Anonymous #4
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Just gonna butt into this thread too, similar issue but I'm a girl.
I find that when I have sex, I just don't get anything from it like I think I'm supposed to.
Like you know for example when you're watching a movie cuddling with your partner and there's like something magnetic between you and there are all these hormones rushing around inside you? I love that feeling and always imagined that sex etc would be like that feeling multiplied (is that true?), but as soon as we start doing anything beyond kissing that feeling goes away and I feel like I'm doing what's expected of me and concentrate on getting it right rather than enjoying it properly. It's not that I don't want to, just that the super-attracted feeling dissipates on actually doing it. What can I do to help?? Am I expecting too much?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Arieisit)
Do you masturbate a lot? This could be a factor.

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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ah, sorry to hear that! I wonder sometimes if the problem with my boyfriend is that he is too used to rough sensations. Like, he masturbates a lot, and I used to give him hand jobs a lot which is basically the same roughness. So I've stopped doing them now, and I keep using oral to maybe help him get used to the subtle sensations more. I don't know if you could have the same problems?
I used to masturbate a lot, to the point where i took part in no fap. Went for 54 days. I've vastly reduced. Like before it was a few times a day and now it's once every few days. Didn't completely abstain because i realised that my endurance reduced when masturbating. Obviously i'm now having the exact opposite problem, but i imagine when it goes away i'd bust a nut way too quickly if i don't masturbate at all. It may be because i've associated sexual experiences to porn for so long that i wasn't used to sex. It's a lot less visual and more active than when you're sitting down jerking off to images. Perhaps i need to just acustom myself to the real deal, too bad i don't a girlfriend for regular sex. It's probably a few factors not just one.
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buchanan700
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Make sure you're not just 'jumping straight in'. Get the girl to explore your body and take time to see what turns you on. Don't even think about the sex part, just see if you can naturally get to a state of arousal and slowly take it from there. You're probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

Oh, and stop with the porn. That can't help.
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canadamoose
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I know it's tmi, but my boyfriend can't feel anything with condoms. He never managed to finish with them on, but did a great job of making me think he did while we still used them. The first time I went on the pill and we used that as birth control instead, wham, he felt things during sex. Sometimes it's just not super sensitive there and the thick latex (no matter how thin, it's still there) gets in the way!
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tooosh
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I used to masturbate a lot, to the point where i took part in no fap. Went for 54 days. I've vastly reduced. Like before it was a few times a day and now it's once every few days. Didn't completely abstain because i realised that my endurance reduced when masturbating. Obviously i'm now having the exact opposite problem, but i imagine when it goes away i'd bust a nut way too quickly if i don't masturbate at all. It may be because i've associated sexual experiences to porn for so long that i wasn't used to sex. It's a lot less visual and more active than when you're sitting down jerking off to images. Perhaps i need to just acustom myself to the real deal, too bad i don't a girlfriend for regular sex. It's probably a few factors not just one.
If your problem was more with porn than fapping (which is what it sounds like), it'll take a lot more than 54 days of nofap to decondition yourself.
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Studentus-anonymous
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Maybe she has a large vagina?

Maybe you are just one of the unfortunate few who have very little sensation down there.

Maybe circumcision is to blame (they do cut away a fairly sensitive bit of your body which also helps keep the head of your penis sensitive to).

Maybe you're worrying and thinking too much about it.
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Anonymous #5
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I had exactly the same problem so listen to my advice!

The first times I had sex I had the same feeling, or well, rather lack of feeling! It felt just like you described, more like exercice. I used to masturbate a lot and you say that you did too. Your body is used to a lot stronger physical stimulation, which you can imagine when you compare your hard fist to a soft vagina..

Another factor is anxiety that doesn't allow you to relax and enjoy. But let me tell you how I got over this: I just kept having sex with my new girlfriend even though I would never orgasm. I stopped masturbating, we tried different positions, even anal but still not possible. My girlfriend was a virgin and she thought she was doing everything wrong but I told her just promise you don't stress about me coming or not, let's just keep doing it until it works. I mean I could literally pound her for an hour and not even get close to orgasm.

One night I woke up feeling really horny still half asleep next to her and immediately went for it. I came in about 10 seconds. This was all that was needed for me, to know that it's actually possible. This was maybe the 15th time we had sex and I had nearly lost hope. After that night I could orgasm every time we had sex!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by tooosh)
If your problem was more with porn than fapping (which is what it sounds like), it'll take a lot more than 54 days of nofap to decondition yourself.
noporn was about a cocktail of sexual problems, including ED and escalation of porn preference. Two things i having experience. For all i know it could be something really simple and normal so it's worth asking.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I had exactly the same problem so listen to my advice!

The first times I had sex I had the same feeling, or well, rather lack of feeling! It felt just like you described, more like exercice. I used to masturbate a lot and you say that you did too. Your body is used to a lot stronger physical stimulation, which you can imagine when you compare your hard fist to a soft vagina..

Another factor is anxiety that doesn't allow you to relax and enjoy. But let me tell you how I got over this: I just kept having sex with my new girlfriend even though I would never orgasm. I stopped masturbating, we tried different positions, even anal but still not possible. My girlfriend was a virgin and she thought she was doing everything wrong but I told her just promise you don't stress about me coming or not, let's just keep doing it until it works. I mean I could literally pound her for an hour and not even get close to orgasm.

One night I woke up feeling really horny still half asleep next to her and immediately went for it. I came in about 10 seconds. This was all that was needed for me, to know that it's actually possible. This was maybe the 15th time we had sex and I had nearly lost hope. After that night I could orgasm every time we had sex!
So basically, you just kept having regular sex in new positions and cut out all fapping and it eventually just went away? Ok, i guess you'll learn to be less anxious and more in the moment and you'll eventually recondition yourself physically as well. One question, did you ever try without condom and did going raw still feel like nothing?
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Anonymous #6
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does oral sex do anything for you?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
does oral sex do anything for you?
last time i checked, no
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