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ex/current problems

It's all a bit of a long story but I'll try and keep it short and sweet. Basically my ex and I dated for two years during college, once that was done I went to university and he took a gap year - during which we broke up as I found out he had cheated on me repeatedly. Two years passed since then and we've become friendly and eventually gotten back together. Now that we are both at university and not in the same city things have become difficult. He doesn't like the idea of me going out as he is paranoid of me kissing a random boy. We have taken breaks and gotten back together a few times now but it has come to a point where we have officially broken up as I danced with another boy (however I was not in the right state of mind - my drink got spiked and I was hallucinating the whole night). I'm not saying I was a saint, I'm merely saying that my actions were not in character and not because of myself.

It's been a few days since we've broken up but we're still talking...A LOT. I've found out he's had sex with a girl he used to meet up and have coffee with. He's been out with her on a few occasions and when he does go out with her he tells me not to contact him for the night and then the next day he'll talk to me as usual.

I can't deal with the pain of knowing he's "with" someone else but I'm in too deep.

Help xo :cry2:

P.s. I realise I didn't really make this short. SORRY!

Reply 1

hattiemcbinky

You remind me way too much of my friend who never listens to any advice. She constantly is on and off with this really paranoid/controlling guy and keeps taking him back repeatedly even though she isn't that happy very often and they fight a lot. What is the point in a jealous, paranoid, on/off relationship where someone has cheated in the past? I think it's time to find someone else.

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Reply 2

Enoxial

Original post by Anonymous

It's all a bit of a long story but I'll try and keep it short and sweet. Basically my ex and I dated for two years during college, once that was done I went to university and he took a gap year - during which we broke up as I found out he had cheated on me repeatedly. Two years passed since then and we've become friendly and eventually gotten back together. Now that we are both at university and not in the same city things have become difficult. He doesn't like the idea of me going out as he is paranoid of me kissing a random boy. We have taken breaks and gotten back together a few times now but it has come to a point where we have officially broken up as I danced with another boy (however I was not in the right state of mind - my drink got spiked and I was hallucinating the whole night). I'm not saying I was a saint, I'm merely saying that my actions were not in character and not because of myself. It's been a few days since we've broken up but we're still talking...A LOT. I've found out he's had sex with a girl he used to meet up and have coffee with. He's been out with her on a few occasions and when he does go out with her he tells me not to contact him for the night and then the next day he'll talk to me as usual. I can't deal with the pain of knowing he's "with" someone else but I'm in too deep. Help xo :cry2:

P.s. I realise I didn't really make this short. SORRY!

You should distance your self from him.

Reply 3

Lotus_Eater

I'm sorry to say that I think unless you want to waste the best years of your life in an ultimately traumatic on-again-off-again relationship then call time on him. You're broken up now, but now you need to completely cut him out of your life. Try to see it like taking a really unpleasant medicine: unless you go through an initial few weeks of emotional hurt, you'll only delay a proper recovery in the long-term.

Sometimes, to use an old cliche, with relationships we can't see the wood for the tress. He sounds like really bad news and I hope the act of writing out what happened has given you some inkling into that.

Cutting him out of your life is going to be painful in the short-term but he sounds like a horrible man and I think you need to try and do better for yourself. I have a feeling other people in your life have urged you to leave him. Try to stay busy, social, and positive about the future. But this guy doesn't deserve any more of your tears.