I never feel good enough? Watch

ChloeBelle
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So I got a rejection letter from an amdram company today. No big deal for most people, but to me, it's like a knife to the heart. I got Glinda in 'The Wiz' earlier this year, and bugger all in 'The Wizard of Oz' today. I have a good voice, but as soon as any competition shows up, I'm screwed. I played a lead role in 'Whistle Down The Wind' back in June, but it feels like I was purely the best of a bad bunch. I'm known to have low self-esteem anyway, but how on earth am I supposed to get it back up?

I don't have friends, which is why performing means the world to me, but lately even that's been taken out of my grasp. I'm not pretty, I'm not particularly clever, I don't know what I want to do in life. It makes me wonder why I'm here, really. I have a boyfriend who loves me, but I can't see why, and I every day I get scared that he's going to leave me because I'm just not good enough. I'm not funny, I'm not exciting to be around, I'm mundane and dull and average.

I've spent six months feeling rubbish about myself. Before that, I was on top of the world, but everything came crashing down. Where do I go from here? I feel as though my life has no particular purpose.


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A5ko
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Why don't you just pretend you're a happier person?
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Forumfinder
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Did you perform for them? If so, did you show them how unhappy you are? If there were prettier, better singers that could be another reason why you were rejected.

It's only one Company. There will be others. Like anything, it's a numbers game.
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ChloeBelle
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It feels as though I've reached the absolute peak of my life already; I'm only seventeen. Back in June, I was in the best place I'd ever been. I was onstage every night singing my heart out, getting praised, feeling like I had friends. The amdram community is very fickle, though, because as soon as somebody else comes along, you're forgotten about. I strive for praise and attention, that's the world that I grew up in. I'm an actor, I can put on a front, but behind it all, I'm hurting.


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Ripper-Roo
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Can you ask for feedback on why you were rejected?

When I was aged 8 to 10 I dreamed on becoming an actor, I went to drama school, performed in plays in the local theatre etc, had this idea that I was going to be successful. At aged 11 I auditioned for the year 6 production, my acting was fine, but my singing let me down (I can remember the look on my teachers face, by which point I asked to start again but they didn't let me). I was so so upset when I got a menial role and when I realized who got the main part... :mad:

The fact that you're following what you ultimately want is fantastic and if you know it's what you see yourself doing you should continue and persevere. My little story seems meaningless but not many people can stick in competitive showbiz and if you weren't any good you wouldn't have got this far. Maybe the part you were going for wasn't right for you?

Don't lose heart because knock backs are a part of life, take some time to get back on your feet again and learn from this experience. Maybe you need a coach if you don't already have one to get an objective opinion.
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ChloeBelle
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(Original post by Ripper-Roo)
Can you ask for feedback on why you were rejected?

When I was aged 8 to 10 I dreamed on becoming an actor, I went to drama school, performed in plays in the local theatre etc, had this idea that I was going to be successful. At aged 11 I auditioned for the year 6 production, my acting was fine, but my singing let me down (I can remember the look on my teachers face, by which point I asked to start again but they didn't let me). I was so so upset when I got a menial role and when I realized who got the main part... :mad:

The fact that you're following what you ultimately want is fantastic and if you know it's what you see yourself doing you should continue and persevere. My little story seems meaningless but not many people can stick in competitive showbiz and if you weren't any good you wouldn't have got this far. Maybe the part you were going for wasn't right for you?

Don't lose heart because knock backs are a part of life, take some time to get back on your feet again and learn from this experience. Maybe you need a coach if you don't already have one to get an objective opinion.
The thing is, I went for Dorothy, who couldn't be more similar than the character that I played in 'Whistle'. And what little girl hasn't wanted to be Dorothy?

To many people, it sounds pathetic. But when I've been told so many times before that I could be brilliant if I stick at it, it's extremely frustrating to not be given these chances! It feels like I'm second best every single time. That I'm very good, but never good enough.



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