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My dad is trying to avoid paying for my uni fees..
Well Im starting uni this september. My parents have seperated since i was 8, my dad is in germany and i live with my mum. Ever since i was little my dad said that he would pay for my university fees etc., but now the time has come he's trying to avoid it. Last year I told him how much my course fees were going to be and so on and he said he would help me. Yesterday I texted him about uni fees saying that it's £3000 for the course every year and about £3000 for accommodation since i'll be living away from home. He text back saying that in germany people don't have to pay for course money and that it's the same in england, so i should get the right information from universities because I'm wrong. I texted him back saying that no, we do have to pay course fees and i've checked this many times with the universities.
This is annoying me alot, especially since i can't afford to pay it and neither can my mum. I know that i can get a loan, but if my dad helped everything would be much more easier. Why is he doing this?? and how can i get him to pay even some of the money?
This is annoying me alot, especially since i can't afford to pay it and neither can my mum. I know that i can get a loan, but if my dad helped everything would be much more easier. Why is he doing this?? and how can i get him to pay even some of the money?
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Reply 1
Why is he doing this? Maybe because you can get a loan and he can't. £6000 a year is a lot for anyone and don't forget you'll need just as much again for living expenses. And if you're not prepared to get a loan because the debt would be too great, chances are you won't think of paying him back. Think of it from his point of view.
Besides, independence is what uni is all about. Otherwise it would just be yet more school.
Edit: although I'm sure your dad would be prepared to help out if you got into any financial trouble, which may well be another reason he's keeping his money to himself right now - he couldn't help you if you'd already spent all his money and then ended up with no backup source.
Besides, independence is what uni is all about. Otherwise it would just be yet more school.
Edit: although I'm sure your dad would be prepared to help out if you got into any financial trouble, which may well be another reason he's keeping his money to himself right now - he couldn't help you if you'd already spent all his money and then ended up with no backup source.
Reply 2
With the amount of finance available, expecially if you and your mum really cant afford it, forget your dad and make other arrangements, you obviously cant rely on him. There are great funding opportunities, and loans, so don't worry bout it.
Reply 3
maybe he just thought you were confused. Heres an idea, ring him.
Reply 4
I don't think I'd be too pleased if I got a text asking for £6k 
Reply 5
18
You should phone him and read out the information from the prospectus or something and if he refuses to pay make him feel guilty and say you wont be able to go to uni now and you are never going to get a decent job
Reply 6
I didn't ask him to pay all of £6000 anyway, just a little help would do. He has never sent me any money or bought me anything for the last 6-7 years, neither has he come to see me or callme to go over to Germany in this time. As a father, don't you think he should have some sort of duty to help me financially? My mum does all her best to help me and spends every single penny if needed, but my dad?? no. nothing.
Reply 7
Anonymous
As a father, don't you think he should have some sort of duty to help me financially?
Yes, i think its called child support. My mum and dad are divorced, and he has to pay us a certain amount every month, while in full time education.
Reply 8
I agree totally that he SHOULD pay. Absent fathers all to easily evade their responsibilities too often. But in this situation, if you don't sort something out for yourself and you maintain that he should help, you could find yourself with problems if he doesnt. So my advice would be to make you own arrangements eg loans and bursaries etc, and then id he DOES help, thats a bonus.
Reply 9
No, he doesn't have a 'duty' and if he hasn't brought you anything for 6-7 years or even come to see you, then I don't think you should bother making the effort to contact him.
Reply 10
mike_J
Yes, i think its called child support. My mum and dad are divorced, and he has to pay us a certain amount every month, while in full time education.
The system doesnt work. If you're actually getting the money you are very lucky!
Reply 11
Anonymous
I didn't ask him to pay all of £6000 anyway, just a little help would do. He has never sent me any money or bought me anything for the last 6-7 years, neither has he come to see me or callme to go over to Germany in this time. As a father, don't you think he should have some sort of duty to help me financially? My mum does all her best to help me and spends every single penny if needed, but my dad?? no. nothing.
Duty? Not at all. You're going to uni, you're at least 18, he has no duty to help you. It might have been nasty of him but hey... have you ever called him to come over to see you? You're an adult now, maybe he just thinks if you couldn't even be arsed to phone him instead of texting him, he couldn't be arsed giving you his money when you haven't known each other for years.
I'm not saying all this is your fault, just speculating. There are plenty of reasons he might not want to help and he's perfectly entitled not to.
Reply 12
Print out all the information and post it to him. Also see if your chosen uni will ring him to discuss it so that he doesn't think you are making it up.
Reply 13
History_is...
The system doesnt work. If you're actually getting the money you are very lucky!
Agreed. My dad doesn't live with me and I get nothing from him. Besides, that is only in full-time education, and uni doesn't count... and I doubt you could backdate the claim to 6 years back if you haven't been getting anything.
Reply 14
Bloody hell you must be at least 17
Why should your parents pay? Get a loan like everyone else its probably easier to pay back anyway.
Why should your parents pay? Get a loan like everyone else its probably easier to pay back anyway.Reply 15
Of course I am going to make my own arrangements, I've already applied for loans. I am not stupid enough to rely on him entirely. He was in a good financial position, had money etc. ( i don't know if this is still the case) but he helped his other two sons go through university and paid for everything.
What really annoys me is that he won't have helped me at all in my university life but when I'm about to get married or something he comes out of the blue and says that i can't marry a guy because he doesn't like him or anything.
If he won't give me any help at all then I wouldn't even fall him a father. I'm not only talking about financially but in general, being there when I need him emotionally etc.
When my parent divorced he had to pay a small sum into my bank account every month. he did this for about 1 year and stopped the payments entirely. I could take him to court for it but it's such a long process and i think that it will spoil the relationship ( as if there is any ???) between me and my father.
What really annoys me is that he won't have helped me at all in my university life but when I'm about to get married or something he comes out of the blue and says that i can't marry a guy because he doesn't like him or anything.
If he won't give me any help at all then I wouldn't even fall him a father. I'm not only talking about financially but in general, being there when I need him emotionally etc.
When my parent divorced he had to pay a small sum into my bank account every month. he did this for about 1 year and stopped the payments entirely. I could take him to court for it but it's such a long process and i think that it will spoil the relationship ( as if there is any ???) between me and my father.
Reply 16
It is a really unfortunate situation you are in, and i do agree with you entirely. Unfortunately it just seems there is nothing you can do - another useless man who won't accept his responsibilities gets away with it!
Reply 17
altho sorry for insulting ur father!
Reply 18
generalebriety
Duty? Not at all. You're going to uni, you're at least 18, he has no duty to help you. It might have been nasty of him but hey... have you ever called him to come over to see you? You're an adult now, maybe he just thinks if you couldn't even be arsed to phone him instead of texting him, he couldn't be arsed giving you his money when you haven't known each other for years.
I'm not saying all this is your fault, just speculating. There are plenty of reasons he might not want to help and he's perfectly entitled not to.
I'm not saying all this is your fault, just speculating. There are plenty of reasons he might not want to help and he's perfectly entitled not to.
It's not like I didn't contact him for 6-7 years and then I just texted him saying "give me £6000 for uni!!" We usually text each other every few weeks, this has been going on for the last 5 years or so. I've called him to come over and see me, he keeps saying that he'll come but then he doesn't because of work. I asked if i could go over there, but he didn't even mention anything about that. I'm really annoyed because some of you are making it look as if I AM the one in the wrong, rather than him.
Reply 19
18
Theres obviously no relationship and if he was being serious and isn't going to pay then you should take him to court for what he should have been paying you in the past. Its pretty cruel to abandon your daughter then promise her something then take it away especially when it concerns your future.
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