Social anxiety and slept with flatmate Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 years ago
#1
I need some help tsr.
I moved into a shared flat a month ago for a temp job. It was a big step for me as I had previously struggled with anxiety and depression and would get panic attacks around people.
Since I moved in, I've had a slight crush on one of my flatmates but we rarely talked. The other day, I had a few drinks and I thought I'd do something I wouldn't normally do and invite him to my room for a film... and we ended up sleeping together. It was totally unexpected. It felt fine at the time and he even asked me out on a date the day after but a few days down, I feel the intensity of what had happened has caught up with me and I'm having very bad anxiety flare ups. The awkwardness of constantly being under the same roof in a small flat was just too much so I abruptly decided to move to a friends for a few days.
I really don't know what to make of this whole situation. I've never had a relationship or slept with anyone before due to various mental issues and I guess I've been having a bit of a crises about almost turning 26 and being a virgin and that was why I let it all happen. He's moving out soon as well so it should be pretty clear cut, it's just a one time thing but the fact that we went out as well I don't know what he's expecting and I'm not sure where I want this to end either.
Has anyone been in this situation before?
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Solemn Rain
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#2
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The question is, what do you expect?
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Lotus_Eater
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#3
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The fact is, he's moving out soon so you can part ways without it being a massive deal. If that's what you what to do. To be honest it's difficult offering advice since I don't think you are clear in your own head about what you want. Which is fine, it's okay to feel confused about things, particularly relationships. I hope at the very least, you regard this as a validating experience - you lost your virginity to a decent guy who subsequently wanted to date you. That's a pretty good result in my book.

It also sounds like you're making positive moves to combat social anxiety. Good for you for moving into a shared flat. I don't know a lot about social anxiety but my recommendation would be to take things a day at a time. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get everything right first time and treat things like this as a learning experience. Try not to get particularly concerned about your flatmate - he was happy to pursue things but must have guessed it could have gone either way for him.
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