Had to separate with boyfriend for 8 months :( Watch

kara3107
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Hi everyone,

I'm so depressed about this and I dont know anyone to talk to. I'm from Indonesia. I have been in a relationship for 8 months now and I really love him. I have been planning with my boyfriend to take master's degree in London together for January 2014. I got accepted first, I already paid deposit and got my visa a few days ago. I was worried that he didn't go with me but he convinced me that he will go. But unfortunately he got some issues with his family that made him cannot go on January. Ive cried my eyes out for a few days now. I dont know if I can make it in London without him. I never live far from my family and he's the reason that I finally decided to go. I was thinking to just break up with him because I never been in a long distance relationship but it's too hard for me. He promised me to join me in London on september 2014. But how should I know that it's true? What should I do? I'm terrified. Any comments will be so much appreciated.


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xDave-
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Well, one way of looking at this is to think about the course and the country. How much do you want to go to London? How much do you want to study the course? Is studying the course more important than being with your boyfriend?

Will you get another chance to do a course like this in the future? Because most people have more than one relationship in their lifetime, so - whilst it doesn't sound great now - you'd probably get another boyfriend eventually. But would you be able to do another course like this again?

I dunno what the answer is for you, but there's some things to think about.
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nic-nac
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It depends where your priorities lie and what you future is likely to be like with/without your boyfriend/doing this course. If you do this course then I assume your job prospects will be greatly enhanced, which will be for the rest of your working life and pay for your retirement to? You've been with your boyfriend 8 months, what are the chances of you being in love for the rest of your lives and getting married and staying together? Ask yourself these two questions and which is most likely to happen. But like you say, you don't necessarily have to pick between the two completely, he might join you in England in a few months. If you really do love each other then you will cope with a long distance relationship for a few months.
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Shaun1991
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I think you should probably talk to him about it. What do we know, really?
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kara3107
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(Original post by xDave-)
Well, one way of looking at this is to think about the course and the country. How much do you want to go to London? How much do you want to study the course? Is studying the course more important than being with your boyfriend?

Will you get another chance to do a course like this in the future? Because most people have more than one relationship in their lifetime, so - whilst it doesn't sound great now - you'd probably get another boyfriend eventually. But would you be able to do another course like this again?

I dunno what the answer is for you, but there's some things to think about.
I always dreamed about studying in London since a year ago. Last year I didnt go because I have a boyfriend (now my ex) back at home and I just cant be far from him.

On the other hand, I dont know if I will ever have another chance to study in London.

Theref



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kara3107
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(Original post by nic-nac)
It depends where your priorities lie and what you future is likely to be like with/without your boyfriend/doing this course. If you do this course then I assume your job prospects will be greatly enhanced, which will be for the rest of your working life and pay for your retirement to? You've been with your boyfriend 8 months, what are the chances of you being in love for the rest of your lives and getting married and staying together? Ask yourself these two questions and which is most likely to happen. But like you say, you don't necessarily have to pick between the two completely, he might join you in England in a few months. If you really do love each other then you will cope with a long distance relationship for a few months.
Yes I agree with you, it is just me freaking out about this whole long distance relationship idea. Have you been in an LDR? I just curious what it will be like.


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kara3107
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(Original post by Shaun1991)
I think you should probably talk to him about it. What do we know, really?
Already talked to him and he begged me to fight for our relationship. He said he would do anything for our relationship and he begged me to wait for him. But I said I want a break up so many times because I'm scared that I will screw my study in London
If I have to deal with this LDR.


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canadamoose
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It sucks that you chose your location based on a boy. You're now stuck, and if anything happens with him come September (money issues, family issues, etc.), he may not be able to move to you and you're still going through schooling in London. My advice to you is what's done is done. You've chosen to go to school in London, so embrace the new culture and learn loads of new things! If your boyfriend winds up flaking on you, don't let it ruin the great experience that you've fallen into. It will be worth it in the end, no matter what happens with the guy!
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DorianGrayism
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(Original post by kara3107)
He promised me to join me in London on september 2014. But how should I know that it's true? What should I do? I'm terrified. Any comments will be so much appreciated.


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Unfortunately since I lack psychic powers, I am unable to tell you if he can join you in sept.

Also, you didn't have to separate. You could have just waited till sept .
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anonymouspie227
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Go to London and study.
You may not get a chance like this again. You'll get more boyfriends.
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nic-nac
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(Original post by kara3107)
Yes I agree with you, it is just me freaking out about this whole long distance relationship idea. Have you been in an LDR? I just curious what it will be like.


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I'm in one now, but only 100 miles or so. If you really do love each other then you'll be fine.
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Nods73
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You have a real opportunity to do something for yourself and to stand on your own two feet. Take it. The life lessons you will learn from this will be invaluable. if you love each other enough, you will find a way to make it work. It wont be easy, but if it doesnt break you it will only make you stronger as a couple.
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FlavaFavourFruit
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Follow your dreams, he's just a bf, most bf come and ago anyway...
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DoctorInTraining
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Move to London!

I was in a long distance relationship for 4 years....we have now been together 7 and half years and whilst the period of time when we were living hours apart was difficult - he was only ever a phone call or webchat away. We have now been living together for over 2 years and it was worth the wait. True love is rare and it will stay!

I was juggling a medical degree and found having a boyfriend completely separate to the pressures of the course to be a really good way of separating work and home.

fingers crossed!
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desdemonata
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So you "couldn't" be far from your ex, and now you "can't" be far from your boyfriend?

You should really go to London. It's important to learn how to be dependent on yourself, to have your happiness depend on yourself and no one else. This is a chance that you shouldn't miss - boyfriends might come and go, but this will be an amazing opportunity, and you will meet loads of new people and be busy. You need to learn to live with and by yourself!
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NidaJaffri
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Go to London, take a break. If it's meant to be he'll wait for you faithfully and if he can't then you know he wasn't the right one to begin with.
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kara3107
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Thank you so much for everyone who participated on this thread. All of your advices really encouraged me. I just bought my ticket to London for January 2nd and so excited to go. Anyone in London?


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Spongebob'sPants
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(Original post by kara3107)
Thank you so much for everyone who participated on this thread. All of your advices really encouraged me. I just bought my ticket to London for January 2nd and so excited to go. Anyone in London?


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Meeeee! I'm in London.

Welcome, you'll have loads of fun
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kara3107
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(Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
Meeeee! I'm in London.

Welcome, you'll have loads of fun
Yayyy thanks for the warm welcome! Where are you studying?


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Spongebob'sPants
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(Original post by kara3107)
Yayyy thanks for the warm welcome! Where are you studying?


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Just finished, so i'm not anymore
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