Life after university Watch

AnharM
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Hey guys,

I'm thinking of applying to a few universities outside of my home city, which is London. I'm very close with my family, so I think it would be really tough for me to settle in. Hopefully, everything works out fine.

Anyways, I wanted to ask the people who went to a university outside of their home city, after graduating from your university, did you come back home to live with your family, or did you stay close to your university? What was the reason behind that choice?

Thanks guys
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Origami Bullets
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(Original post by AnharM)
Hey guys,

I'm thinking of applying to a few universities outside of my home city, which is London. I'm very close with my family, so I think it would be really tough for me to settle in. Hopefully, everything works out fine.

Anyways, I wanted to ask the people who went to a university outside of their home city, after graduating from your university, did you come back home to live with your family, or did you stay close to your university? What was the reason behind that choice?

Thanks guys
I've not graduated yet, I'm a final year, but I'm not planning on moving back home to be with my family if I can possibly avoid it. I love them dearly, but they're impossible to live with (the summer holidays are way too long) and I value my independence too much.

I'll stay close to my uni (all my friends are there, and most will be there for at least another year, so there's no reason to move) or I'll go to another city (if I got an amazing job offer).

Different people do different things though - some seem quite happy about moving back home again, some go home reluctantly because they don't have a job, and some are more fleeing the nest than flying it.
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Jjj90
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I went home but I strongly regretted it. I want to raise my unborn children in York
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AnharM
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(Original post by Origami Bullets)
I've not graduated yet, I'm a final year, but I'm not planning on moving back home to be with my family if I can possibly avoid it. I love them dearly, but they're impossible to live with (the summer holidays are way too long) and I value my independence too much.

I'll stay close to my uni (all my friends are there, and most will be there for at least another year, so there's no reason to move) or I'll go to another city (if I got an amazing job offer).

Different people do different things though - some seem quite happy about moving back home again, some go home reluctantly because they don't have a job, and some are more fleeing the nest than flying it.

Love your approach about it.

I don't know how I'll go about it. I've been brought up by a religious, traditional family, so my mum and my sisters would expect me to come back. But if I really like it there, and I have some great friends there, I wouldn't want to move back.

I'm mostly worried about who'll take care of my mother, my sisters will eventually move out because they'll get married by the time I graduate.
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AnharM
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(Original post by Jjj90)
I went home but I strongly regretted it. I want to raise my unborn children in York
Where do you live now?

York looks really nice, it's not a big city is it? I've been brought up in London, so I definitely need to live in a loud place with a lot of people, or I'll be homesick.
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tory88
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I'm currently in my final year, but I will be moving back home once I graduate. Two reasons for moving back home: I have stronger friends there, and my chosen career (teaching) is more interesting in London.
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Origami Bullets
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(Original post by AnharM)
Love your approach about it.

I don't know how I'll go about it. I've been brought up by a religious, traditional family, so my mum and my sisters would expect me to come back. But if I really like it there, and I have some great friends there, I wouldn't want to move back.

I'm mostly worried about who'll take care of my mother, my sisters will eventually move out because they'll get married by the time I graduate.
I think these are all bridges to cross when you come to them.

I presume that your mum isn't likely to need care 5 years from now? If not, go off, live your life, and when she gets older and a bit doddery then start considering your options - be that moving back to the same city and popping in daily, finding somewhere with a granny flat that you can move her into, or something else, or a combination of approaches. You may find that your sisters are living nearby and are happy to help - though in my experience of looking after ageing relatives, you do need more than one individual to be contributing.

As for family expectations... meh. This is your life to lead, not theirs, and you need to do what makes you happy. Would you really pass up a good job offer in another city just because they wanted you to move back? I certainly wouldn't.

Go away to uni, and when you get to final year start considering your options. You might want to move back home again, your mum might have fallen under a bus (or be fighting fit!), you might get a job offer in New York (you can but dream!) or any number of other things might happen that you just can't predict right now - so make a decision later on, when you can make an informed decision.
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Octohedral
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(Original post by AnharM)
Love your approach about it.

I don't know how I'll go about it. I've been brought up by a religious, traditional family, so my mum and my sisters would expect me to come back. But if I really like it there, and I have some great friends there, I wouldn't want to move back.

I'm mostly worried about who'll take care of my mother, my sisters will eventually move out because they'll get married by the time I graduate.
Most people not brought up in traditional religious families (as far as I'm aware) won't go back home. They might for a few years if they need to save money, but it generally won't be a positive choice.

On the other hand, from your third paragraph I take it your father isn't around (I'm sorry if that's too personal). In that case it is a slight concern if your mother will eventually be on her own. However, it shouldn't stop you moving out - you can always relocate your mother to live near you or one of your sisters once you are all settled, or move to live near her.

My father has a similar situation with his father, who is 82 and lives alone. We are still deciding what to do, but we think it would be good if he came to live near us, as we can keep an eye on him and he won't be alone - you don't need to live in the same house. However, that's a long way in your future. You haven't even gone to university yet and your sisters are at home - have some fun.
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AnharM
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(Original post by Octohedral)
Most people not brought up in traditional religious families (as far as I'm aware) won't go back home. They might for a few years if they need to save money, but it generally won't be a positive choice.

On the other hand, from your third paragraph I take it your father isn't around (I'm sorry if that's too personal). In that case it is a slight concern if your mother will eventually be on her own. However, it shouldn't stop you moving out - you can always relocate your mother to live near you or one of your sisters once you are all settled, or move to live near her.

My father has a similar situation with his father, who is 82 and lives alone. We are still deciding what to do, but we think it would be good if he came to live near us, as we can keep an eye on him and he won't be alone - you don't need to live in the same house. However, that's a long way in your future. You haven't even gone to university yet and your sisters are at home - have some fun.

Yeah, my father died when I was 7 years old, and my mum didn't have the intention to marry again. I'm the only guy in the house, and the culture I was brought up in is very patriarchal. Bottom line is that she expects me to take care of her when I'm older, I'm not sure how I feel about that. But I definitely don't feel comfortable of leaving my mum alone, she's 53 years old, but her health is an issue. I want someone to take care of her, primarily my second older sister. (I should mention that my sisters are also very religious and traditional, I'm not)

I love my mother, but I want to have my own place and have fun instead of listening to her nagging about what time I should come home.
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Fashion Girl
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I still have about a year and a couple of months left to graduate from uni and then I'll have my first ever Bachelor's degree; I'm in my second year at the mo !

I obviously have plans to study further degrees, with scholarships and sponsorships, but by then I would be able to afford my own place, so its not quite the same thing as living in halls on a student loan and you know how strict the government is about student loans, you can only qualify for it once in your lifetime, and if you have taken out a student loan and have dropped out, well then your screwed because you would be in debt and unable to pay it back on a JSA allowance, or a non-existent income basically :eek: !

I plan on moving to my hometown, London, once I have done my PGCE, which is the first degree I want to do after I've wrapped up my undergraduate degree. Because I want to pursue my PGCE at the University of Manchester, my former uni, I guess after graduation I would be going to live in Manchester once more, but after that I would be living in my hometown because I love London, its a part of my identity, and I've grown up in the city so no other place can ever come close to resembling what the place means to me !

:fuhrer:
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Pariah
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(Original post by AnharM)
Hey guys,

I'm thinking of applying to a few universities outside of my home city, which is London. I'm very close with my family, so I think it would be really tough for me to settle in. Hopefully, everything works out fine.

Anyways, I wanted to ask the people who went to a university outside of their home city, after graduating from your university, did you come back home to live with your family, or did you stay close to your university? What was the reason behind that choice?

Thanks guys
after I graduated I moved to another country to do a postgraduate course, and then stayed in that country when I finished it. IMO what you do after uni depends on so many variables that there isn't much point spending much time thinking about it before you start
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