Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    So on Wednesday night, I decided to make a meal for myself, my boyfriend and the people in the room opposite us. I was making chicken and one of the people from across the hall suggested I cook the chicken in her George Foreman grill. So I said sure! She brought the grill over and cooked the chicken on it. When finished my boyfriend cleaned the Grill and the people from across the hall went back without the Grill.

    We have another room mate living with me and my boyfriend, he wasn't in at the time. But last night he was here, and he was drunk. At 2 in the morning when me and my boyfriend was in bed, he woke my boyfriend up to ask if he could use the Grill and my boyfriend said it's not ours, so no.

    I got up 10 mins later and found him using it and he broke it in front of me. Nothing serious just a latch on the side came off, still works perfectly.

    We took it back to the people across the hall and explained what harpooned, this was this morning.
    About thirty mins ago one of the girls came across and asked to borrow some things, then asked me and my boyfriend to apologize for it getting broke as it was in our possession at the time.

    After having a think about it, I have refused to appologise and this is why:
    1. I didn't break it.
    2. As far as I'm concerned it wasnt in my posetion. I wasnt going to use it, had no intention of using it, and neither did my boyfriend. They simply forgot it when they went back.
    3. Me and my boyfriend were in bed at the time, so we wouldnt of been able to stop our other roommate using it.
    4. My boyfriend told our room mate NOT to use it, and he did anyway.

    We have every intention of having serious words with our room mate when he's back, but I don't feel I should appologise.
    When I explained this to the girl who asked me to appologise I got the response "I'm sorry but I just thought it's manners, like you can at least apologise because it was in your possession and you can apologise that it's happened. But fine if you feel that way way fair enough."

    So, should I appologise, and would you?

    Thanks
    p.s: Yes, I'm dyslexic, so the spelling is crap :P

    EDIT:
    To Clarify, the definition of Apologise is "
    express regret for something that one has done wrong.". They do not want me to express regret that my house mate did this, they want me to accept responsibility.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I think that if you don't apologise, you will be seen as a bit rude. You should do it just to smooth things over - it's not a matter of principle or whether you think you're at fault and "need" to, but you should anyway. I agree with the other girl that it's just manners. You don't have to grovel on your knees or do anything other than say sorry - it's not really much effort, and that's why not doing it will make you seem rude. It's the kind of think people remember - not doing it, I mean.

    I don't understand why you've gone to such lengths to think about why you should apologise or not, rather than just doing it because it takes one minute.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Yes, yes you should - apologise in place of your flatmate - say that you know not to trust him with things any more - and tbh try to get him to apologise too.

    Sometimes it's best to do these things as a goodwill gesture - you don't want things to go sour! She knows you didn't do it, but is upset.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Gosh just say "I'm deeply sorry" even if you don't mean it just so she can let it go.


    It's not that hard, really.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Not that hard...Heh :P
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Of course you should apologise... it was in your house, obviously you weren't the one who broke it - but it was someone you live with, there is no relationship between your housemate and this girl, so you are the point of contact, just suck up your pride and say sorry. But tbh any apology now is too late.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    r2144

    You definitely should apologise!

    Regardless of whether you, your other half or your flatmate broke it - the grill was leant in faith that it would be returned in the condition its original condition. The fact the grill still works is a bonus - but I can completely understand why the other girl is upset.

    Life is too short to sweat about the small stuff. Apologise sincerely and offer to buy her a drink to make sure there's no hard feelings.

    As for your flatmate - let this be a lesson to you that they can't be trusted!
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I'm not sure why... but being asked to apologize really pisses me off.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Yes you should apologise and what's more you should be putting pressure on your flatmate to get the grill fixed and to apologise to the owner as well. An apology costs you nothing, it's a life lesson you need to learn.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    As far as I'm concerned it wasn't in your possession. They were the ones who carelessly left it there, in a very communal area, when you had no further need for it and you can't be held accountable for your roommate's actions.

    The only person who should give an apology is your roommate, to you, for ignoring your explicit instructions and getting you in bother with someone else. The owner should just learn to look after their items better.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DoctorInTraining)
    r2144

    You definitely should apologise!

    Regardless of whether you, your other half or your flatmate broke it - the grill was leant in faith that it would be returned in the condition its original condition. The fact the grill still works is a bonus - but I can completely understand why the other girl is upset.

    Life is too short to sweat about the small stuff. Apologise sincerely and offer to buy her a drink to make sure there's no hard feelings.

    As for your flatmate - let this be a lesson to you that they can't be trusted!
    ...No, it wasn't. It wasnt lent at -ALL- . She left it here, she forgot about it. We had no intention of lending it and didn't even realise it was still here until our room mate asked to use it. Which is exactly why I don't see this as my fault. If I left something at your house without you knowing, someone else used it and broke it, would you appologise? Honestly? If so, then I guess I'm in the wrong.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Crumpet1)
    Yes you should apologise and what's more you should be putting pressure on your flatmate to get the grill fixed and to apologise to the owner as well. An apology costs you nothing, it's a life lesson you need to learn.
    What exactly should I be apologising for and what is the life lesson?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Sometimes you are expected to apologise whether or not you're technically in the wrong, this is one of those times

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Never
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ElChapo)
    Sometimes you are expected to apologise whether or not you're technically in the wrong, this is one of those times

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Then I guess I'm one of those people who wont apologise unless they're in the wrong.
    To me, you apologies when you are wrong, when you have done something wrong. I cannot apologies for someone else.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    If you want to maintain an okay relationship with them then go ahead and apologise. Personally, I wouldn't, but I don't think twice about what others think about me so not apologising in this kind of situation would be okay for me.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Yes you should. They forgot about it or left it there, but as they let you use their property it was your responsibility to make sure that it wasn't damaged.

    Obviously you didn't damage it, but you should still apologise on behalf of your flatmate, and explain that he used it without your permission.

    Did your flatmate apologise to you? Because he should imo.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    I would have said sorry before being asked, but asking for someone to apologise for something they didn't do is a bit far.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Jjj90)
    I'm not sure why... but being asked to apologize really pisses me off.
    I feel you - one girl at my school used to put her stuff on my desk, in my cupboards without asking. I allowed it to go on, until one day I was told off by a teacher for being messy ... I asked the girl to remove her stuff, but she moaned and decided not to, after which I simply threw her stuff off the desk, out of drawers. She started making a scandal and was like ''Apologise, or I will never talk to you again.''. So I said ''Fine, don't''.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by r2144)
    Then I guess I'm one of those people who wont apologise unless they're in the wrong.
    To me, you apologies when you are wrong, when you have done something wrong. I cannot apologies for someone else.
    Wow, you should have just apologised to be honest it's manners, it's no big deal is it? You could have said something like "sorry about that, it works fine but this lad last night used it without asking". They would have understood. Secondly, I don't see why you wouldn't let the lad use it in the first place you could have just said clean it.

    P.S. there will be a number of people that know about this whole thing obviously, how do you know one of them won't read this post?
 
 
 
Poll
Black Friday: Yay or Nay?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.