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Starting to think I might not be gay

I'm not being lame and posting anonymously. No.

Recently I've started to become increasingly attracted [physically] to women. I have always been aware of a semi-attraction to women but I always dismissed bisexuality on the grounds that I wasn't sexually attracted to women. It's weird but I have always found myself drawn to some women, and only recently has this developed into a real physical attraction.

Another reason for me questioning that I'm gay is the fact that I seemingly have no interest in gay things [like, I hate gay culture, gay clubs etc]. I rarely find that I have an emotional attraction to men that I've been out with, and my current boyfriend [although we have totally cooled off for the summer and might resume in September at uni if we want] is no different. I find him physically attractive in a lustful way.

I can't ever see myself falling in love with a man whereas I could imagine loving a woman. I am utterly confused :frown:

.

Maybe things will just develop and turn out as they should be, but I don't understand why a physical attraction to women has suddenly developed.
Has anyone else experienced the same thing?

are the women butch?

OP

The-Lennon

are the women butch?

No, quite the opposite. I hate minging women.

Reply 3

The-Lennon

1

to be honest... the fact that you have a boyfriend should be enough to prove you are gay.....

the doorway into gayness is a one way door im afraid

Reply 4

doublex

EDIT: Removed out of respect for RR. Sorry ^_^

(btw it was a joke)

Reply 5

Juno

20

You don't have to like all the additional things that sometimes go with being gay to be gay. Bad example, but I like watching F1, although I don't like studying all the technical aspects and learning all the race histories.

If you don't like going to gay clubs and things, it may be harder to find someone to go out with, and so you may subconciously be attracted to girls as they're more "available". Like you can't immediately tell if someone's gay and there are more straight people. (That made sense in my head anyway)

If you've only just noticed it, it might be a temporary thing. You get more scantily clad women in the summer. And if you've gone home, you might be wanitng to please your parents.

Reply 6

Lush Law

OP

15

WHO quoted me saying 'And I used to think breasts were for feeding' ??? I never wrote that.

God, I wanted some decent advise. Useless ****ers.

Reply 7

Lush Law

OP

15

Juno

You don't have to like all the additional things that sometimes go with being gay to be gay. Bad example, but I like watching F1, although I don't like studying all the technical aspects and learning all the race histories.

If you don't like going to gay clubs and things, it may be harder to find someone to go out with, and so you may subconciously be attracted to girls as they're more "available". Like you can't immediately tell if someone's gay and there are more straight people. (That made sense in my head anyway)

If you've only just noticed it, it might be a temporary thing. You get more scantily clad women in the summer. And if you've gone home, you might be wanitng to please your parents.

Yeah I see what you mean. I have lots to think about.

Reply 8

Dez

20

RR

I'm not being lame and posting anonymously. No.

More power to you. And it does speed things up a bit.

Honestly, I think you should let your sexuality go the way you feel is best, and not dictate it/have it dictated. If you want to date a girl, then try it and see what happens. It might turn out to be a complete waste, or you might find the love of your life. Er, either way, I'd let your boyfriend know what's going on.

Also, I do know several gay guys who dislike the gay culture, much like you do, so you're not alone there.

Reply 9

Laika

1

It's pretty common (and when I say common I mean of about 2 people I've talked to about it but I digress) for bisexuals to feel sexual attractions to both sexes but only feel emotionally drawn to a relationship with one.

The only thing unusual about your situation is that you've only developed the feelings for women later on. However, if both the sexual and emotional attraction to women is there, then I suppose you can draw your own conclusions from that. I wouldn't let dislike for gay culture confuse you about your feelings about same-sex relationships though. The lack of emotional attachment is the real issue, though you could argue that you've not met the right man yet.

Reply 10

icedout

1

Okay, here's some good advice, homosexuality is a development disorder that can be reversed. Looks like you're well on the way.

http://www.narth.com/

Reply 11

Mangaroo

12

totally agree, theres no reason for you to have to fit into a stereotype. <=== talking about gay clubs etc.

Is it possible that sexual orientation changes/during our life? Has your orientation even changed...you say you can imagine loving a woman, does that woman have to be your partner, or can it be a close friend, difference being there is no sexual chemistry. It is possible you haven't met the right man to form a loving relationship as opposed to lustful, but you say you can't imagine it, meaning youd rather not have such a relationship (or it can be because there isnt that much of that sort of thing in mass media..who knows!)...

sorry im confused too, but it seems like you may be developing bisexuality..your the best judge; imo, if your that open, seems to me it doesnt matter whether you are gay/straight/bisexual, you dont need to fit into a category, you feel what you feel right? maybe they'll make a new one after you =P

Reply 12

Lush Law

OP

15

icedout

Okay, here's some good advice, homosexuality is a development disorder that can be reversed. Looks like you're well on the way.

http://www.narth.com/

I don't think so, somehow.

Reply 13

Happy_Rocker

1

icedout

Okay, here's some good advice, homosexuality is a development disorder that can be reversed. Looks like you're well on the way.

http://www.narth.com/

kidding rite? :redface:

Reply 14

Dez

20

icedout

Okay, here's some good advice, homosexuality is a development disorder that can be reversed. Looks like you're well on the way.

http://www.narth.com/

Don't you just love open-minded people like this?

Once upon a time, homosexuality was considered a mental illness. Nowadays, people are a bit wiser than to trust their psychologists all the time. This guy's looking for an answer, not a "cure".

Reply 15

Mangaroo

12

i think there are limits to the extent of how open-minded someone can be...just because he doesnt follow western/european mainstream gay stance, doesnt mean he isnt open-minded ....seeing how homosexuality is not a new idea anyway =P

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Sounds like he's bi to me.
Go wild for a few days and experiment with some of the ladies, see if it feels 'right'.

lol ?

This thread has been pretty much total *******s, why have so many people posted if they're not going to even try and give advice!!

By physical attraction for woman do you mean you want to sleep with them? Or maybe you just admire them? Just because you don't like doing 'gay' things doesn't mean you're not gay. Maybe you're bisexual to some degree, it isn't uncommon, I'm not sure why it's only just starting happening to you though. Maybe it's just curiousity, you want to try something new?
God I'm being like no help sorry!!

Reply 19

Purple

18

How would you describe the "physical attraction"?

Have you ever actually had sex with a women before or have you always seen yourself as attracted to males?

Starting to think I might not be gay

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