THE UN AND FOOTBALL...!
The members of the Security Council at the United Nations building looked at each other with surprise, "Whatca mean we don' need make up today?" asked the British Delegate and his Russian counterpart nodded angrily.
"Sir, nobody is watching you!" said the make up man.
"Nobody watching my clever arguments as I bull the Palestinians?!" asked the Israeli member.
"Nobody is watching me use my veto?" asked the Russian.
"Nobody listening to me repeat what Bush repeated this morning after Rice repeated it to him yesterday?!" asked the American.
"No sir, nobody is watching, so no need for make up!"
"What the bloody hell is everybody watching then?" asked the British Delegate.
"Football!" came the reply from the make up man.
"Ye gads," said the Englishman, "that little ball's making more news than this giant earth we guard here?"
"I'm sorry sir, but that’s how it is! May I go?"
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I don't want to miss the next match," said the make up man as he ran out of the room.
The members of the Security council looked at each other in dismay. "How will I face ze camera without ze make up?" asked the Frenchman.
"Nobody is watching you, so it don’t matter!" said the Englishman.
The Frenchman's face lightened, and then darkened again as he called his mistress and found her glued to the tele, "You are watching me on ze T.V in ze Security Council?"
"Footbaaall!!!!" she screamed and hung up.
"What is eet zat zis 'football' has that we don’t?" asked the Frenchman.
"Fair play!" said a voice from behind and a man dressed as a referee entered the room.
"Whatcha mean?" asked the Englishman as he and the Russian got up, fists clenched.
"Isn’t this place for debate and discussion? Then why the fists?" asked the referee.
"Throw him out!" said the American.
"No lets hear him," said the Englishman.
"I said we throw him out!" said the American.
"He's using his veto!" said the referee with a smile, "In football, gentlemen, we have no veto power! The better team wins! That's why our good American here finishes last!"
The Frenchman asked the referee, "Is eet because of zis fair play dat ze whole world eez watching football?"
"Yep!" said the referee, "the football field is a level playing field. Rules are same for all. You play with eleven men; you can't take millions of soldiers and beat up a poor country. Everybody plays with feet and head; no firing missiles at fellers holding muskets! It's a game you guys should learn!"
The members of the Security Council looked at each other as the referee left.
"He looked like Abe Lincoln to me," said the American.
"Looked a bit like Gandhi..." said the British slowly.
"I say we did not hear anything or see anyone," said the Russian, "I use my veto..."