The Student Room Group

To those who have lot of sex

This is addressed especially to those who have lot of sex - and with lot of different partners, and it could be a point of relevance if you started early.

Do you associate your sexual activity with something "dirty", "naughty" and "nasty"?

I'm well aware of the socio-historical/ethno-linguistical influences on our language, which often links "promiscuity" with a negative charge, often also due to hygienic references.

But is there a specific feeling when you say "let's get down and dirty baby"? Do you visualize the reproductive system as a "dirty" tabu that is being trespassed? Does that give the thrill?

I'm asking this because I also have a lot of sex, but I actually started very late (18), mainly because I used to be an anomaly, both anachronistically and culturally, within my own society and had other interests...
This, plus the factor that I was very influenced by oriental philosophies, make me somewhat unfamiliar with the equation "lot of sex = dirty".

When I started having lot of sex with girls of all kinds, I actually NEVER considered that what I was doing was "dirty". I actually saw it as a religious thing, a heroic humanitarian action. I know you will laugh at me about this, but this is truly how I felt!!!... until one of my partners said "let's get dirty".
That created a moment of thought it me.

What if all the "western girls" I was having sex with were actually doing this and feeling nasty/dirty/naughty about it?

I respect whatever they feel... but I also want to understand why they feel being "promiscuous" in this way.

Are there others like me who have lot of sex with different people and see it as something spiritual, holy and religious?

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Hey what religion is this? Sign me up.
Reply 2
It's not a religion... at least, non a religion of institutions.
But every sexual encounter is a step forward in spiritual and personal growth.

As I said, I think I grew more reading oriental philosophy than living with my friends... tantra, kamasutra, but also agape... are some keywords that might give you the idea.

But can nobody answer me the primary question?
What about a crap 30 shag with a prostitute in a dank pub toilet?
Reply 4
Anonymous
This is addressed especially to those who have lot of sex - and with lot of different partners, and it could be a point of relevance if you started early.

Do you associate your sexual activity with something "dirty", "naughty" and "nasty"?

I'm well aware of the socio-historical/ethno-linguistical influences on our language, which often links "promiscuity" with a negative charge, often also due to hygienic references.

But is there a specific feeling when you say "let's get down and dirty baby"? Do you visualize the reproductive system as a "dirty" tabu that is being trespassed? Does that give the thrill?

I'm asking this because I also have a lot of sex, but I actually started very late (18), mainly because I used to be an anomaly, both anachronistically and culturally, within my own society and had other interests...
This, plus the factor that I was very influenced by oriental philosophies, make me somewhat unfamiliar with the equation "lot of sex = dirty".

When I started having lot of sex with girls of all kinds, I actually NEVER considered that what I was doing was "dirty". I actually saw it as a religious thing, a heroic humanitarian action. I know you will laugh at me about this, but this is truly how I felt!!!... until one of my partners said "let's get dirty".
That created a moment of thought it me.

What if all the "western girls" I was having sex with were actually doing this and feeling nasty/dirty/naughty about it?

I respect whatever they feel... but I also want to understand why they feel being "promiscuous" in this way.

Are there others like me who have lot of sex with different people and see it as something spiritual, holy and religious?


Nah its just sumthin 2 do innit.
Reply 5
I feel the same way as you really and I'm a "western" girl, never seen it as anything dirty. Haven't exactly considered it religious, but it is "spiritual" in a way.
Reply 6
Come on folks, I'm not asking advice, I'm asking opinions, insights and maybe also new ideas.

Think a bit about what you feel about when you're about to have sex with someone. How do you perceive it?

I think it's interesting to perceive sex in different ways.
Ok, I must admit that there is a certain level of excitement produced by associating the act of "promiscuous" sex as doing something prohibited/tabu.

But why dirty? Do you think of the genital organs being at the same time... unhygienic? And try to be excited at that thought???

Please let me know! I want to know what I missed during my early teens :P
Reply 7
No it's not dirty.
Well, personally I view sex simply as a physical act, which if carried out for the right reasons (that oh-so-abstract concept we like to call "love, or something similar) and with the right individual(s) can have a deeper meaning, ie. something spiritual. I do not however see it in any way a religious act, unless by religion you imply a broad meaning (which I believe you are), in the context of humanistic and the other existentialistic faiths which many believe in.
I myself am half asian and half european, yet have grown up in asia and live here now, I can truly say that the view of many people here is that sex is a means to an end > children. That is exactly what sex has always been about, especially if we look into the animal world, sex is a tool. I do not believe sex is dirty, no matter what quantity it is in, unless your entire purpose becomes simply copulation, in which case you are doing no favours for humanism - you are simply becoming more animalistic in your actions; or if what you practice is harmful and abusive to others or yourself.
Whilst I do not agree with your view of seeing sex as something religious/sacred in the traditional sense, as someone in a similar position, I agree that there is nothing wrong or dirty about it.
Yet remember this; do not try and force your viewpoint onto others. Whilst you may think you hold the intellectual high ground and are correct in every sense, you must recognise that everyone is entitled to their own view and opinion, even if it does not agree with your own. As long as they do not ridicule or oppress you for your view, then you have no grounds to be aggressive, as I sense from some of your comments "But why dirty? Do you think of the genital organs being at the same time... unhygienic? And try to be excited at that thought??? Please let me know! I want to know what I missed during my early teens :P"
However, it seems I spoke to soon, there seem to be a few angry and incoherent people about... "give us all a break and f off"
Reply 9
Hi xisforextreme, thank you for your reply =) Where exactly are you from Asia?

To settle some things.
Firstly, I think the user "Potter" replied that way because he was new in this subforum and thought there was a User called "Anonymous" posting thousands of different problems. Misunderstanding.

Secondly, I'm aware that communication comes in a bit biased way when it's only text and internet. I will tell you with all my honesty that all my phrases in this thread intended to express avid curiosity:
I wrote "But why dirty?" in the same way a child asks "But why are those apples green?".
I didn't even think of critic :smile: It is pure interest!

I'm actually addressing the different ways of perceiving sex. I don't think it's a matter of agreeing, or asking what is right or what is wrong, but a matter of taste.
And I am simply curious about these different ways of perceiving it, of tasting it :smile: and would like to experience them myself.

I'm bad at communicating, but I hope now I did it a bit more clearly.

I also asked some of my friends, including some girls I had sex with, and it turns out that there is a variety of things to think of doing while having sexual intercourse:

- as something "nasty" and "dirty", in the sense of trespassing something, going against a taboo, as I said in my original post. Still, I didn't understand what's actually dirty about it, and what I asked in my first post was the linguistic origin of it;
- as the highest point of a monogamous love relationship. And this can indeed be very spiritual. Religious especially for Christians, since monogamy is one of Christianity's pillars;
- as committing a sin, with the excitement of doing something against social norms, similar to the first one, but in this case it's more "pathetic" since the people involved enjoy every single bit of distancing themselves from e.g. Christian faith;
- as a kind of confidence booster, a feeling of domination and conquest. This is more common among my male friends. It also has some connotations of violence, pleasurable violence;
- as "going back to the nature" and feeling like an animal, like a beast. This seems to be a hybrid of the "nasty/dirty" and the "confidence booster" type;

The way I started having sex for a very long time - until I realized that there are different "tastes" - was religious in the sense that each time I was having sex I was experiencing a phase of high meditation and concentration.
It's as if you're giving yourself to another person, giving them the gift of a divine pleasure that restores and purifies the soul. A pure sense of Goodness.
Humanistic in the sense that I was giving each different girl something that would literally relieve them from all evil, ill feeling, depression, etc. Giving them an eternal happiness. Actually I also saw that they felt the same way also after the sex. And for quite a long time...

I started reflecting about the alternative ways of perceiving sex only after that girl told me "let's get dirty".

Forgive me if my curiosity seems a bit aggressive :smile:
Anonymous
of sex, but I actually started very late (18)

And I love you too :mad:
Sex for me *can* be naughty... but that is largely because we are often taught that pure pleasure is something we should deny ourselves in order to be successful. It is naughty in the same way that eating an entire bar of rich chocolate is.
Reply 12
Eccentric Man;
It's just that I think that kids who had their first experience in their "sweet teens (13 to 17)"... kinda enjoyed their teenagehood in a special, different way than us who started only when we became adults. Maybe it's all in our mind, but it gives a certain sensation.
They had less obligations, stress, they simply followed their dreams. (this is all theory, my spontaneous thought, I may be totally wrong).
They have something... "fresh" in the way they behave later on, as adults. They had the experience early and... somehow, I don't know exactly what =)
Unfortunately, nobody can tell for sure, since each individual felt only his or her own "first time".
But there IS something special in them :smile:

Schmokie Dragon;
That's also a very interesting point! The sexual act as a form of gluttony!
Reply 13
I didnt understand a word of that but ye played son....
Reply 14
I'm still a V, so this counts me out.
Reply 15
Anonymous
Eccentric Man;
It's just that I think that kids who had their first experience in their "sweet teens (13 to 17)"... kinda enjoyed their teenagehood in a special, different way than us who started only when we became adults. Maybe it's all in our mind, but it gives a certain sensation.
They had less obligations, stress, they simply followed their dreams. (this is all theory, my spontaneous thought, I may be totally wrong).


Intentionally or not, you seem to be implying that these teenagers who started having sex early somehow had a better teenage life than those of us who did not.

I disagree with this, particularly with your comment that they had "less obligations, stress", and that they "simply followed their dreams". Contrary to this I think many of them feel pressured into doing things they would not otherwise do. For a lot of younger teenagers their reputation and social status means a hell of a lot to them, and they feel obligated to engage in sexual activities because their peer group does so (or that is, *says* they do). They feel that if they don't do what is expected of them, they will be considered "uncool" or "frigid". I'm not saying they necessarily don't want to have sex, but perhaps they don't feel entirely ready for it and rush into it without giving it proper thought.

I wouldn't say these kids had fewer obligations or less stress - in fact I'd say it probably places even more stress and pressure on them.
I only have sex with sheep. Is that dirty?
Reply 17
xisforextreme
*some stuff*


Wow talk about typical Malaysian point of view. Relax and read the whole thing through first.


btw Shreerac1, I bet it can get pretty lonely up in the Cornish hills :biggrin:
No, it's not a spiritual, transcendent thingymabob.

It's just... nice.

But have too much, and it stings when you pee.
Reply 19
Nyx
I may be surely influenced by stereotypes, but I have the impression that - at least in terms of love affairs, romances, and consequently also sex - those who started earlier have an advantage of experience... or isn't it?

Anyway, I didn't mean "fewer obligations" and "less stress" as related to social, love and sex life, but to exams, first jobs, starting new independent life, choosing university, etc. when you must begin to be and think pragmatic -
I think we (who started later) have less time to dream around and think about "I want to be together with the coolest guy" or "who is the most beautiful girl of the school"... so many other typically "dreamy" things. Sort of.
These may be superficial "dreams"... but they belonged to a teenage life that I never had.

I'm not sure, but it might even be that those who entered relationships and had sex just because of social reputation... and those who did gain the reputation... they, too, somehow "succeeded" and enjoyed their dreams?
I may be wrong, I may be simply nostalgic... but I'm open to your views =)