(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi xisforextreme, thank you for your reply =) Where exactly are you from Asia?
To settle some things.
Firstly, I think the user "Potter" replied that way because he was new in this subforum and thought there was a User called "Anonymous" posting thousands of different problems. Misunderstanding.
Secondly, I'm aware that communication comes in a bit biased way when it's only text and internet. I will tell you with all my honesty that all my phrases in this thread intended to express avid curiosity:
I wrote "But why dirty?" in the same way a child asks "But why are those apples green?".
I didn't even think of critic It is pure interest!
I'm actually addressing the different ways of perceiving sex. I don't think it's a matter of agreeing, or asking what is right or what is wrong, but a matter of taste.
And I am simply curious about these different ways of perceiving it, of tasting it and would like to experience them myself.
I'm bad at communicating, but I hope now I did it a bit more clearly.
I also asked some of my friends, including some girls I had sex with, and it turns out that there is a variety of things to think of doing while having sexual intercourse:
- as something "nasty" and "dirty", in the sense of trespassing something, going against a taboo, as I said in my original post. Still, I didn't understand what's actually dirty about it, and what I asked in my first post was the linguistic origin of it;
- as the highest point of a monogamous love relationship. And this can indeed be very spiritual. Religious especially for Christians, since monogamy is one of Christianity's pillars;
- as committing a sin, with the excitement of doing something against social norms, similar to the first one, but in this case it's more "pathetic" since the people involved enjoy every single bit of distancing themselves from e.g. Christian faith;
- as a kind of confidence booster, a feeling of domination and conquest. This is more common among my male friends. It also has some connotations of violence, pleasurable violence;
- as "going back to the nature" and feeling like an animal, like a beast. This seems to be a hybrid of the "nasty/dirty" and the "confidence booster" type;
The way I started having sex for a very long time - until I realized that there are different "tastes" - was religious in the sense that each time I was having sex I was experiencing a phase of high meditation and concentration.
It's as if you're giving yourself to another person, giving them the gift of a divine pleasure that restores and purifies the soul. A pure sense of Goodness.
Humanistic in the sense that I was giving each different girl something that would literally relieve them from all evil, ill feeling, depression, etc. Giving them an eternal happiness. Actually I also saw that they felt the same way also after the sex. And for quite a long time...
I started reflecting about the alternative ways of perceiving sex only after that girl told me "let's get dirty".
Forgive me if my curiosity seems a bit aggressive
Turn on thread page Beta
To those who have lot of sex watch
- 03-07-2006 22:13
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 03-07-2006 22:24
This is addressed especially to those who have lot of sex - and with lot of different partners, and it could be a point of relevance if you started early.
Do you associate your sexual activity with something "dirty", "naughty" and "nasty"?
I'm well aware of the socio-historical/ethno-linguistical influences on our language, which often links "promiscuity" with a negative charge, often also due to hygienic references.
But is there a specific feeling when you say "let's get down and dirty baby"? Do you visualize the reproductive system as a "dirty" tabu that is being trespassed? Does that give the thrill?
I'm asking this because I also have a lot of sex, but I actually started very late (18), mainly because I used to be an anomaly, both anachronistically and culturally, within my own society and had other interests...
This, plus the factor that I was very influenced by oriental philosophies, make me somewhat unfamiliar with the equation "lot of sex = dirty".
When I started having lot of sex with girls of all kinds, I actually NEVER considered that what I was doing was "dirty". I actually saw it as a religious thing, a heroic humanitarian action. I know you will laugh at me about this, but this is truly how I felt!!!... until one of my partners said "let's get dirty".
That created a moment of thought it me.
What if all the "western girls" I was having sex with were actually doing this and feeling nasty/dirty/naughty about it?
I respect whatever they feel... but I also want to understand why they feel being "promiscuous" in this way.
Are there others like me who have lot of sex with different people and see it as something spiritual, holy and religious?
I think sex a very spiritual thing when with the right person. It all seems very similar to the Kama Sutra attitude of India long ago. I hate how sex has become such a sinful thing to do - a taboo - something that Western religion and many other religions have had a role in.
I think people should be a little more coy and subtle with sex though. It can be as you say 'dirty', 'naughty' and well...tasteless in certain circumstances.
Please don't take offence to my stance against sleeping around and don't take it to heart. It's only a matter of opinion that has developed from current and previous relationships.
Wouldn't go so far as to calling it a religious thing though - spiritual, yes - religious, no. But I guess you could view it as something holy and sacred in a sense.
And like most holy and sacred things, I believe it deserves respect and care.
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's just that I think that kids who had their first experience in their "sweet teens (13 to 17)"... kinda enjoyed their teenagehood in a special, different way than us who started only when we became adults. Maybe it's all in our mind, but it gives a certain sensation.
They had less obligations, stress, they simply followed their dreams. (this is all theory, my spontaneous thought, I may be totally wrong).
They have something... "fresh" in the way they behave later on, as adults. They had the experience early and... somehow, I don't know exactly what =)
Unfortunately, nobody can tell for sure, since each individual felt only his or her own "first time".
But there IS something special in them
- 03-07-2006 22:32
OP, remember, the word dirty has two meanings:
Dirty: adj unhygenic, unpleasant, unclean
Dirrrty: adj sexy, erotic, bad
- 04-07-2006 10:13
You feel like you missed out by starting to have sex at 18? I feel sorry for you, you have your whole life ahead to have sex. You must have had your reasons to wait longer and I respect those that wait for the right person and not give into peer pressure or just have sex with anyone and place the consequences and burden on the British Welfare State.
I don't see where religion comes into sex to be honest. Sex is sex - that's it. Love has nothing to do with it, that is a separate thing. You can care about someone or not to have sex with them which a lot of people confuse the act of sex with love. Just because people have lots of sex doesn't mean to say they are happy - some could be forced or pressurised by their partner to do this as they are afraid to say no.
You will have to be more specific on where you have obtained religion into the equation.
- Thread Starter
- 04-07-2006 11:01
Yeah, it has numerous meanings, indeed.
You're right: western religions and cultures have demonized the sexual act itself. But don't you also think that the negativity surrounding the word "promiscuity" itself is of cultural influence?
The notion of monogamy, i.e. of a "couple relationship", which in different cultures culminates in longer bonds (marriage) is not exclusive. There have been numerous societies throughout history that have never taken that path.
The culture of monogamy is, in my opinion, something very practical in the modern world, since it reduces the risks of STD propagation, creates the foundations of the modern "family" (more social securities towards offspring, and more attention in return) and at the same time inhibits selectivity; there won't be a dominant male or a dominant woman who has more chances to breed than those who aren't. Theoretically, in a system of prevailing monogamy, everyone would be able to have a family.
These were actually among the intentions of original christianity, which was however forgotten as it's european medieval history began...
Nevertheless, I wonder why poligamy - or better: "promiscuity" - is still perceived as something that is necessarily superficial. I almost foresee that this stereotype would remain even if all STDs in the world disappeared.
As I experienced it, it depends on the attitude and the intentions of the people directly involved.
Infact, I seldom identify myself with "player"-types and Don Juans. I am concerned about my partners. As I said, I do it with great humanistic intentions - that may apparently conflict with popular culture and values.
Adding to what I said in my previous post - which also gave a big picture about the techniques/meditation I use while having sex -, I enter the sexual union with many girls with the following concepts of religiosity:
(Note: I'm using expressions that will seem very "pathetic" to some of you, especially to those who are not much involved in religion, but I'm doing this to clarify why I had sex with a religious feeling)
...Intercourse as a divine union, which is something far from being only physical: perceiving both of us, myself and my partner, as two divine creations possessing the so far most complex gift of evolution.
...Purification of the souls, restoration of confidence, inner harmony of the person I'm giving myself to.
...Universal love (which is slightly present also in Christianity).
The fact of making love to a person you know since very little time actually reinforces the pursuit of peace and Good. It brakes the barriers of prejudice, and conservation. You are offering yourself and your love to a "foreigner". Just as in [original, not medieval] Christianity, you will welcome her into your spiritual gifts and show her how to be Good, regardless of the past and background of this person. Trying to scan her personality and history are actually an impediment towards this religious harmony. Everyone must have the chance of having this divine union.
Sex often becomes something purely physical.
But what do you mean with "purely physical". That they had no pleasure at all?