How to be confident in bed?

I'm a girl and I have always been very shy about my body/during sex because I feel I look stupid. Does anyone have any advice? And what makes a girl 'good' in bed?

Reply 1

moonkatt

Please remember, sex tips aren't allowed on TSR. Thanks :h:

Reply 2

unprinted

Given a woman willing to be sexual with them, the vast majority of men are too grateful to think she looks stupid. Particularly as most of them will have their own insecurities around size / hair / muscles / fat / face / whatever.

Learn to like what you have because whatever your body looks like, it will be the ideal for someone. Some people like slim partners, some like fatter ones, most don't care. The same principle applies to breast size and everything else.

Confidence (as opposed to arrogance) is a huge part of being 'good'. It can be faked until it's real, and doesn't have to mean you know what you want all the time. Confident people can try new things, and they can say no to things.

Reply 3

green-turtle

I think it's important for you to trust the person you are with! That will definitely help with your confidence. I was exactly the same and I felt stupid and always thought;

'If I don't like my own body- why should anyone else?' but luckily I felt safe with my boyfriend the first time I had sex- and he didn't push me to do anything I didn't want to. I really trusted him and he reassured me that there was nothing wrong with my body. The more you get used to seeing your body and someone else seeing it, the less you think about it :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

Iwillbeavet

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl and I have always been very shy about my body/during sex because I feel I look stupid. Does anyone have any advice? And what makes a girl 'good' in bed?

It's only natural to have feelings like this but you have to trust in yourself, and more importantly who you chose to have sex with, enough that you're relaxed and comfortable to be intimate and not be embarrassed about your body. Everyone has things they'd like to change about their body but hey, sometimes you just gotta work with what you got :biggrin:

Remember: nothings sexier than confidence! A tip: look at yourself in the mirror, and instead of thinking "oh I wish I had better boobs, I wish I was taller etc etc etc" just pick all the bits you do like about yourself and talk yourself up in your mind. When you start to think "Damn, I am one fit peice of ass!" then believe me, it will start to show in the bedroom. Good luck! :smile:

Reply 5

BurstingBubbles

Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post by unprinted

Really well said! :^_^:

Reply 6

elixira

Confidence is all about just being present in the moment and enjoying yourself, going for it, forgetting about all insecurities. Just remember that it's way more attractive than being self conscious. There's nothing hotter than a guy who's confident in himself, a guy can be gorgeous and have a great personality but if he's not very confident it really reduces his attractiveness in my opinion. Remember that he'll have a better time if you act confidently - for me the thought of someone finding me less attractive because I'm awkward or whatever, that's enough to make me forget about any issues and live in the moment!

You're probably gonna have to take your clothes off so you might as well do it with style. Acting awkwardly or self consciously will not hide stomach rolls/small boobs/stumpy legs/cellulite or whatever you're conscious of.

It's something that will come with time and experience. It's easier to be confident with someone you like and trust as well.

Reply 7

kevinkrieger

Most women feel uncomfortable because they are not satisfied with their bodies. Spend some time making yourself feel good, and then picture yourself as a confident. Also do somebody for having good figure.

Reply 8

Kool_blaze

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl and I have always been very shy about my body/during sex because I feel I look stupid. Does anyone have any advice? And what makes a girl 'good' in bed?

A girl who is good in bed is a girl who is freaky in bed and moans really sexily.

Reply 9

GeographyEllie

Something that always makes me feel good, is looking up some new and interesting things to add to my sex life. If you know your man will appreciate a spontaneous sexy treat, it will 100% make you feel sexy and confident!

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

I think what makes a girl good in bed is enthusiasm, confidence and good communication.

Enthusiasm and confidence sort of speak for themselves. Communication is definitely a team effort but as the girl I would recommend:
- Give him tips how to improve, but phrase these as commands rather than hesistant awkward feedback, eg: "do this!" not "um it would be nicer if you did this instead of what you are doing", because they're more hot/confident and not really deflating at all, whilst still giving him the feedback :wink:

!

- Try to boost that ego, making him feel sexy. Guys get insecure too :frown:

and there is so much pressure on them. If in doubt: praise his cock, how he makes you feel, his body, how sexy he is, how much he turns you on etc - without being dishonest ofc).

- Obviously just generally foster an atmosphere which is understanding and loving and a good place for him to be. Which would involve not putting on pressure and not making a big deal if things go awry. Unfortunately, it can be hard with guys as they may need reassurance but make it too obvious and they'll feel emasculated and even worse. If anything goes wrong at his end - just avoid fussing over it and certainly avoid any trace of pity.

As for your confidence:
- Try pampering yourself and putting on something nice (or nothing!) - do the things which make you feel sexy whether it's perfume or a beautiful scarf, or after having a bath. Imagine you are some sexy superstar, etc etc. Then get a flattering mirror (if you have one), strike a pose and take some time to admire yourself and just focus on the positives.

- As a young woman the odds are you are pretty relatively hot. What's your fear? That you are too fat, or too pimply, or you don't have big enough boobs? Take a woman who is confident and sexy and maybe even widely admired but also even fatter / spottier / flat-chested than you are. We have too many role models whose appearances are constantly being picked at by bitchy magazines, too many cues to doubt ourselves. Instead I think we should take inspiration from other women's confidence and appeal. For example, I might worry my boobs are too small. But take Keira Knightley - who's boobs could be smaller than hers? Yet she looked pretty fiiine in that coco chanel ad. And she was wearing a beige onesie uck! If she can pull of sexy in that with her tiny boobs, then clearly so can I in some fine frenchies and a nice bra with my less tiny boobs. Sexy is a state of mind. We never appreciate how hot we are until we try. The mirror/positives exercise will help.

- Lastly, your sexual partner clearly finds you appealing. Why not ask them to compliment you? If they need encouragement (seriously?), you don't even need to go full-wuss about it, just tell them it makes you feel hot :wink: