girlfriend had breast-reduction op behind my back Watch

Mangaroo
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#81
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#81
marriage makes no difference to this situation, no one else here knows how his relationship was, he obviously thought it was stronger, whereas she is a dumass, or didnt think much of him to talk to him about it.
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solon
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#82
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#82
God damn it IT WAS A JOKE
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SsEe
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#83
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#83
(Original post by tinkerbellejess)
stop your snivelling. It's her body and she doesn't have to ask your permission in order to change it
Despite posts like #80 we're still getting this rubbish.

The guy wasn't expecting her to ask permission. All he wanted was for her to let him know she was having it done.

Whether or not it would cause an argument doesn't matter. If she had any sense she'd know that not telling him would almost certainly cause argument (about her not telling him, not the fact that her boobs are smaller, for the "boob size isn't everything" brigade).

Idiots.
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bunthulhu
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#84
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I haven't read all the posts on here but it's quite possible she just felt uncomfortable talking to him about it for one reason or another. Maybe she has trouble talking about something private and personal like that, maybe she was worried he would react badly - girls know what guys are like about big boobs *rolls eyes* There could be a million different reasons. He obviously just needs to talk to her, full stop
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Profesh
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#85
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#85
(Original post by tinkerbellejess)
stop your snivelling. It's her body and she doesn't have to ask your permission in order to change it
And again. Where do you people keep coming from?
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Fruit-cake
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#86
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#86
(Original post by Profesh)
And again. Where do you people keep coming from?
Seemingly, there is an endless supply.
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gas_panic!
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#87
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#87
(Original post by tinkerbellejess)
stop your snivelling. It's her body and she doesn't have to ask your permission in order to change it
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...neGreernew.jpg
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banksy
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#88
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#88
(Original post by chewwy)
god visesh, we're not all gay at these all boys schools you know...:rolleyes:
Yes you are.
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[email protected]
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#89
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#89
(Original post by bunthulhu)
girls know what guys are like about big boobs *rolls eyes*
Now that is generalisation. FYI 'I' don't think big boobs are that much of a turn on. Mostly I reckon that DD would be too big. I think 'personally' I'd be happier with CC.
Why do I get the impression this is going to sound bad?
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clyn
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#90
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#90

Phwoorrr?
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bunthulhu
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#91
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(Original post by [email protected])
Now that is generalisation. FYI 'I' don't think big boobs are that much of a turn on. Mostly I reckon that DD would be too big. I think 'personally' I'd be happier with CC.
Why do I get the impression this is going to sound bad?
Cheers mate, proved my point
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Snowfall
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#92
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#92
(Original post by strawberry)
yeah, but I get the feeling that he would've tried to talk her out of it.
it's all down to her, really.
Sweetie, 'getting a feeling' without any facts and then insulting them is not very nice..

(Original post by MissHero)
*sigh*
No. Having a breast reduction is fairly major surgery. It is an important, life-changing decision, regardless of the motivation behind it. If you're in a relationship, you should be able to talk about issues like this, it's not just like having your ears pierced. Imagine if something went wrong during the op and her boyfriend didn't even know she was having it done, it'd be awful. The issue is not "you should love her for her personality, not her boobs", it's "why the HELL did she not feel able to discuss such an important decision with him?" Any decent guy would support his girlfriend if having the op was the right thing to do, and was going to make her life better, but to not even be told would be like a slap in the face. I can see exactly why it'd put a strain on the relationship.
I TOTALLY agree with you, Misshero. I don't understand all the damn "IT'S HER BODY GODDAMNIT" business. Whether this is a joke or not, why do people not understand that having an operation is a big deal and something you would want your partner to TALK TO YOU ABOUT (Note: NOT saying 'ask permission'. I don't think this is what the OP was talking about).

I can also see how it would put a strain on the relationship. If your partner had a major operation without telling you, wouldn't you stand back and look at your relationship? Wouldn't you feel like "why did my partner not want to talk to me about this important decision?". I know I certainly would.
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Anonymous #2
#93
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#93
There's obviously communication issues in this relationship if she wouldn't mention it. She must have felt that she couldn't talk to you about it which is something that you need to work on if you want the relationship to work. I agree with the, it's her body debate, but there are underlying issues here.
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Lover_21
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#94
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#94
I hope my girlfriend gets them enlarged.
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nuclear_pavlova
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#95
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#95
(Original post by thegreatstupendo)
What's with all the OP bashing?

If my girlfriend wanted to have the operation done, I'd be more than happy to support her (although I would miss her breasts as they are). However, if she didn't even mention it to me I would feel rather put out.

Oh my darling...I would inform you immediately If I were to undergo the implantation of 32DDs... I would not allow for you to be subjected to spontaneous Breasts! xxxxxxxx
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Helenia
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#96
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(Original post by MissHero)
*sigh*
No. Having a breast reduction is fairly major surgery. It is an important, life-changing decision, regardless of the motivation behind it. If you're in a relationship, you should be able to talk about issues like this, it's not just like having your ears pierced. Imagine if something went wrong during the op and her boyfriend didn't even know she was having it done, it'd be awful. The issue is not "you should love her for her personality, not her boobs", it's "why the HELL did she not feel able to discuss such an important decision with him?" Any decent guy would support his girlfriend if having the op was the right thing to do, and was going to make her life better, but to not even be told would be like a slap in the face. I can see exactly why it'd put a strain on the relationship.
Rep for you when I can do it

There are so many people here completely missing the point (or what I hope is the point!) of the thread. I don't think the smaller breasts themselves are the issue, it's the lack of trust and shutting your other half out from such a major decision and part of your life that would cause problems. Plus, even if he wouldn't have minded her with smaller breasts, it's still going to be a bit of a surprise when he first sees them!

I agree with the "It's her body" debate - the OP would have no right to force her to have or not have this operation; nobody does legally once you are over 18 and someone who is merely a boyfriend (rather than a parent or appointed guardian) never would. Any claim to a moral right would also be rather tenuous. However, that is NOT the reason why it would be a problem.

It's the same as any major life-altering decision (such as surgery of any kind, buying a house, moving jobs to somewhere far away); if your other half made it without even telling you, you'd feel very left out. Of course she has her right to privacy, but I would find it hard to trust someone who had hidden that much from me.
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Jen2327
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#97
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have u asked why she dint tel u?
is it more a trust or communicatiobn problem thats the strain?
or the fact she has smaller boobies??
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clouddweller
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#98
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#98
you'd hope it was the communication thing......
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Lucyvet2006
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#99
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#99
I know this will all have been said but hey, love the sound of my own opinion. I think it was wrong of her to do this behind your back, but then I don't know what kind of person you are- I don't know if she was scared that you'd belittle her opinions or be unsupportive.
If this isn't the case then it's hurtful of her not to trust or confide in you. If my ex boyfriend had had an operation when we were going out of course I would have expected him to tell me- tell me how he felt about it, let me be there in hospital with him and support him when he recovered.

If she was embarassed because of the nature of the operation then fair enough not to go shouting about it, but her boyfriend- I'm assuming both that its a fairly long-term relationship and that she's comfortable with you seeing her body, should know.
She was obviously troubled by her breasts to a great enough extent to have surgery and surely if she was that upset about anything else she'd talk to you? If she's cripplingly shy and bashful about talking about anything personal, or she just can't bear to confide in anyone about her problems, then that's something she needs help with but otherwise I think it shows a lack of respect and concern for you not to have told you. Unless I suppose she thought you'd be that worried at the thought of her having surgery that you'd be better off not knowing until it was over.
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**noooni**
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#100
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#100
(Original post by Agony Aunt)
She should have asked you first.. but it's not that big a deal because what matters is how she feels happy with herself.. isn't it? If she's happy then you're happy..
why should she have asked him? Its her body and her choice.
To the OP- yes she should have mentioned it but she was probably embarassed and wanted to get it over and done with, without any fuss. Dont let it but a strain on your relationship, its just not worth it.
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