bahhh feeling down down down

i'm sure no one's interested but i just want to rant.

i have a long distance relationship with this guy. recently, we've been having a lot of fights because i've been getting paranoid about losing him. we have an open relationship. we're allowed to see other people as long as we don't get emotionally involved with them. however, he's into someone else.

he's really sorry and regretting it, but he's not sure what to do now. he says he loves me but he started to like this girl within 3 weeks only. it's my fault as well. if we weren't fighting it wouldn't have happened. he said he did it because he missed that feeling that he had with me and he was so upset from all the fighting. the other girl doesn't even live in the same country as him either so it's not like he can see her all the time.

now he doesn't know what to do. to stay with me, go off with her, or just stop this relationship business completely. he says he still loves me and doesn't want to lose me as a friend. a while ago, he was sure about me and him sticking together, but when he went to comfort the other girl, he suddenly got very confused.

basically, in a nutshell, my summer is going to be sh*te.

Reply 1

Bubblebee

15

An open relationship? Sound like you want much more than he does...

Reply 2

dementedbunny

OP

11

Bubblebee

An open relationship? Sound like you want much more than he does...

i want much more what?

Reply 3

Dragon24

17

They mean you want a relationship more than he does.

Reply 4

pumpkin7

13

hmm.. long distance relationships are bad enough without having them open too. i think saying it's open is just asking for trouble.
i think bubblebee means that you seem to not want this to be an open relationship but he doesn't have a problem with it.

i'd find someone closer to home to be honest. =)

Reply 5

Glory

1

thats the problems with long distance relationships, it makes problems/issues seem big, when your close in distance terms they would never get to that point.

Jeliousy and misunderstandings are unbelivably common. I cant tell you what is best for you, but i know when i was in a simular situation. I needed to spread my wings and start living, instead of waiting for someone who had different views of the relationship and was making me unhappy, because i couldn't be with them.

Reply 6

Dragon24

17

Open relationships are not 100% commitment. In your case you have learnt the downfall. If he loves you he would forget this girl and work things out. He needs an ultimatum.

Reply 7

zain88

1

dementedbunny

i'm sure no one's interested but i just want to rant.

i have a long distance relationship with this guy. recently, we've been having a lot of fights because i've been getting paranoid about losing him. we have an open relationship. we're allowed to see other people as long as we don't get emotionally involved with them. however, he's into someone else.

he's really sorry and regretting it, but he's not sure what to do now. he says he loves me but he started to like this girl within 3 weeks only. it's my fault as well. if we weren't fighting it wouldn't have happened. he said he did it because he missed that feeling that he had with me and he was so upset from all the fighting. the other girl doesn't even live in the same country as him either so it's not like he can see her all the time.

now he doesn't know what to do. to stay with me, go off with her, or just stop this relationship business completely. he says he still loves me and doesn't want to lose me as a friend. a while ago, he was sure about me and him sticking together, but when he went to comfort the other girl, he suddenly got very confused.

basically, in a nutshell, my summer is going to be sh*te.

i think in an open relationship if you are both allowed to see other people it's a bit unfair to say you're not allowed to feel any emotion for the people you see.

anyway, it's obvious HE is unsure what to do, but are you sure yourself that if he chose you over this girl that you would want him back and things would go back to the way they were? Maybe it's time for both of you to move on to a more serious relationship where you are only for each other, that may help to lessen the risk and the fear you have of losing your bf.

give him an ultimatum by which he has to decide what he wants, so that he isn't just stringing you along while he makes up his mind. also, although he says he loves you, maybe it's not in a gf/bf way anymore, he can love you just as a person, so don't fall for his saying he loves you.

another thing i noticed when reading your post, he missed the feeling he had with you. i personally don't like the sound of that because it shows he wants/wanted a girl to fill the void ie basically wants a girl (any gf) and not necessarily you. personally, i'd rather my bf wanted ME and not "a gf", and i think there is a difference. i'm not sure i'm making that clear.

finally, if he doesn't want you, his loss, because you are beautiful! (just looked at your profile pic)

all the best xx

Reply 8

.:fluff:.

1

In all honesty I think you need to get out there and find someone whos going to treat you the way you want to be treated. I don't quite understand how people can have open relationships, but if you both agreed not to have any sort of emotional involvment with anyone else and he's gone against that then sod him. I know your going to be upset, anybody would, but you want to get out there, get dolled up, slap ur best party shoes on, grab your best friends and go out on the town, forget him just have fun, by the sounds of it it's the best thing you could do right now, and dont forget to smile :smile:

bahhh feeling down down down

Related discussions

Articles for you