The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
Well to be honest not having had a girlfriend if you are 16/17/18 is not a big deal, you have loads of chances, and a lot of people are shy so dont worry about it. I used to be really shy but kinda growing out of it. WHen you meet someone you will force yourself out of it. but inportant thing is not to worry
same as me :frown:
Reply 3
I was obese like a year ago and lost it over a duration of a year. But everyone in my school thinks im the old me. Shall i just wait and try and get a gf at uni? I just finished year 12 ( btw im the one who started the post )
Ok, losing weight is much much harder than finding a gf! Congratulations! That's a really great accomplishment! If I were you, I'd just wait till uni. People there are not going to know your old self and so they won't judge you.
Reply 5
Well if people are judging you without actually knowing the real you now, you shoudlnt be that bothered about them. I wouldnt say wait and get a girlfirned at Uni, as thats really not how it works. No doubt you will find somone who you like and things will develope, whether that is at uni or in the local shop who knows.
Reply 6
The problem is shy people tend not to get bar jobs easily :smile: unless you happen to know the owner.

You will loose your shyness when you get older though. I realy get shy with girls now, I just never get to meet them.
Reply 7
AT82 - You are a he. Damn - you write like a female. Unless you're a lezza, of course.
Reply 8
Or simpler still, just get drunk.
Reply 9
IS it worth trying to work out in a gym and get a good body before going to uni, will that help me settle in uni more easily with the girls?
Reply 10
DOg
AT82 - You are a he. Damn - you write like a female. Unless you're a lezza, of course.


I am male and straight:wink: And PS getting drunk dosn't stop you from being shy, it does help though.
Reply 11
Anonymous
IS it worth trying to work out in a gym and get a good body before going to uni, will that help me settle in uni more easily with the girls?


That ordipends what kind of girls you are trying to attract
Reply 12
Use some form of negative conditioning on your shyness. It may mean that you associate the conditioning with girls in general in which case you could end up doing more harm than good, but it's one of the only ways.

that and get drunk. (just not permanently drunk)
Anonymous
IS it worth trying to work out in a gym and get a good body before going to uni, will that help me settle in uni more easily with the girls?

Personally I think "good" bodies look overdone. Focus more on your personality. Being outgoing isn't everything but if you're shy no one will notice you.
Reply 14
I dont really go out and get drunk at the moment guys. However im pretty sure i will go out and get drunk when im at uni. However till then would the best way to socialise more with girls is try and make convos with them at school ?
Anonymous
I dont really go out and get drunk at the moment guys. However im pretty sure i will go out and get drunk when im at uni. However till then would the best way to socialise more with girls is try and make convos with them at school ?

That would help, yes...
Reply 16
Anonymous
I dont really go out and get drunk at the moment guys. However im pretty sure i will go out and get drunk when im at uni. However till then would the best way to socialise more with girls is try and make convos with them at school ?


Woah woah woah, don't be the creepy nerd kid that starts conversations with fit chicks for no reason. At least bump into them and knock their books out of their hands or something equally as classy as that.
Reply 17
lol yeh , but doesnt that only happen in movies ? Has anyone else ever been in my situation before or am i the only loser on this site?
Reply 18
Your not a loser at all mate, just need to build that confidence up, im a pretty confident person and i dont go out and get drunk all the time. Just make conversation, you will find someone that you like and that likes you. Remember not all girls need a Brad Pitt lookalike to fall for :smile:
I used to be the sexiest, most beautiful and most adorable guy in my whole school but I totally relied on that. Infact girls kept staring at me, but I didn't even know how to even start a conversation with them.

Things changed when I started becoming fat. In the beginning I was shocked that I was not anymore being the most beautiful boy in the world... but I started becoming stoic and that actually HELPED me to accept myself and "be myself", be more outgoing with girls, joke and not care about neither my body nor my brain.

Both body and brain can change.

My advice to you...

1. Go step by step. Don't expect immediate changes. But be ready for some surprises...

2. Forget your past experiences with shyness. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are "not being yourself" anymore. Ever heard of people growing and changing? Both body and brain can change!

3. Sometimes it's only in our imagination that others "want us to be as we always were". They're just used to it, and may find it strange that you change. But when they see what new things you can offer... they'll forget everything else, trust me :wink: !!!!!
If you really want to practice a bit of dating before going to university, do something crazy, great... whatever will recall attention at your school, and try to make a new image of yourself with NEW girls who didn't know you previously.

4. Experiment, experiment, experiment; trial and error; try all possible ways; just as a baby learns to walk on his own feet!

5. Most important: don't fall into easy traps! Sometimes you may think you're on the right track until you discover that you were totally wrong. Don't make ANY rules or assumptions until you really obtained your objective (whether it be just managing to talk to a girl, getting a date with her, and whatever you want to do with her).

6. You don't need to get drunk, but you can do as if you were! Behave crazy, catch everyone's attention and use this "drunk" condition to impress the girls with your creativity =)

But now it's your turn to help us: how did you loose fat so quickly??? :smile: