How to be confident?

Hi. I'm a very shy lad around women especially in clubs. My mates are always pulling and I don't know how they do it. I'm wondering if any of you guys and girls and give me tips to boost my confidence and teach me how to approach a girl with confidence and not be shy.

Reply 1

Bubblebee

15

Smile. Not inanely but nicely. According to some crap I read in a crappy magazine you look 10x more attractive smiling!

Reply 2

poltroon

You just have to stop caring about what people think of you so much. To do this, remember that life is short, and so you might as well live it in the way that will make you happiest. In short, this means that you must live with as few regrets as you can. :smile:

Reply 3

SamTheMan

17

Anonymous

Hi. I'm a very shy lad around women especially in clubs. My mates are always pulling and I don't know how they do it. I'm wondering if any of you guys and girls and give me tips to boost my confidence and teach me how to approach a girl with confidence and not be shy.

I think I would win a competition for having the lowest confidence on the planet. I used to get fed up so much of seeing girls I fancied and not doing anything about it, that one day I just thought "**** this" and went for it. Sure the lack of confidence usually doesn't help but that doesn't mean that no girl will ever find you attractive.
You see guys who aren't too confident pulling all the time: either they don't talk much (a girl who goes for a guy like that can't be too smart but whatever :rolleyes:

) or just avoid doing situations where it will show.

You have to stop worrying about what people will think. It's a club. Hopefully not that many people know you and if you make a fool of yourself, it's something you and your mates can joke about on the way home. Noone else will give a ****. One other thing: a bit of dutch courage can sometimes seem essential.

The real advice is just do it. It's only after making a fool of yourself a few times that you'll ever be comfortable.

A few approaches in a club that have worked (don't go for the cheesy chat-up lines if you're not confident. You'll just ruin any chances you have): either just say hi, ask the girl her name and how's she doing and go for a dance (simple but it works if the girl finds you attractive enough) or bump into her "by accident", ask her name, then say "sorry (name)". If she likes the look of you, she'll probably ask you for your name...

Reply 4

SamTheMan

17

Another piece of advice which really works: don't stare at a girl mulling over how you're going to approach her. There's a saying that you have 3 seconds to decide what to do and to act on it. Once the 3 seconds are up, your chance is gone.

Reply 5

Amnesia

2

SamTheMan

I used to get fed up so much of seeing girls I fancied and not doing anything about it, that one day I just thought "**** this" and went for it.

There is a lot of good advice for the OP in your post and I think that this is the key bit of advice. It is only possible to improve confidence by going out and actively throwing yourself in at the deep end. You have to take yourself out of the comfort zone and practise to improve your skills. Unfortunately, in clubs confidence and appearance are among the main criteria for pulling girls. Things you can do in the short-term are to makesure that you are confident in your appearance and also just go out to have fun. Don't necessarily think that you have to pull a girl- you will look much more attractive if you are out having fun rather than looking nervous wondering how you can approach the girls.

Reply 6

kizer

15

Amnesia

There is a lot of good advice for the OP in your post and I think that this is the key bit of advice. It is only possible to improve confidence by going out and actively throwing yourself in at the deep end. You have to take yourself out of the comfort zone and practise to improve your skills. Unfortunately, in clubs confidence and appearance are among the main criteria for pulling girls. Things you can do in the short-term are to makesure that you are confident in your appearance and also just go out to have fun. Don't necessarily think that you have to pull a girl- you will look much more attractive if you are out having fun rather than looking nervous wondering how you can approach the girls.

Agree 100%, go out and fun and don't worry about it - people like being around people who are carefree and having fun, so it will make it much easier.

How to be confident?

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