guys - why do you do it?

I'm curious as to why whenever I go out, I go into a pub and every single guy i've ever spoken to has treated me like a friend, as opposed to someone they may like and possibly want to go out with.

What is it that i'm doing wrong?

I'm not exactly the most confident of people to begin with, but it just doesn't make sense to me that men always go for the women who are forward and straight to the point, as opposed to going for a woman who while they may take a bit more time in getting to know them, will probably end up just as happy to be in a relationship with the guy in question?

Thanks xx

Reply 1

high priestess fnord

9

damn with a title like that i was expecting soemthing a little more dramatic

Reply 2

Dann

15

Anonymous

it just doesn't make sense to me that men always go for the women who are forward and straight to the point, as opposed to going for a woman who while they may take a bit more time in getting to know them, will probably end up just as happy to be in a relationship with the guy in question?

Thanks xx

Maybe they ARE interested, but are, as you say, are getting to know you. Perhaps what you see as a lack of interest is actually just a subtle approach.

As for us with women, I like women who can make it clear that they are interested without making it painfully obvious. Thing is, sometimes guys find it hard to see when a women is interested, its been said time and time again that we just can't see the signs. If women are actors, men are a panto audience.

Which I have just realised is neither a very helpful nor informative post. But the sentiment remains the same.

Reply 3

cally

Anonymous

I'm curious as to why whenever I go out, I go into a pub and every single guy i've ever spoken to has treated me like a friend, as opposed to someone they may like and possibly want to go out with.

What is it that i'm doing wrong?

I'm not exactly the most confident of people to begin with, but it just doesn't make sense to me that men always go for the women who are forward and straight to the point, as opposed to going for a woman who while they may take a bit more time in getting to know them, will probably end up just as happy to be in a relationship with the guy in question?

Thanks xx

Come to my local pubs; you're the sort of person i'd like to chat to!

Reply 4

1013

1

If you're not confident it may be that when they are interseted you just don't realise it.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

cally

Come to my local pubs; you're the sort of person i'd like to chat to!

lol, well if I'm ever in Rotherham I'll be sure to check out the pubs there :biggrin:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

1013

If you're not confident it may be that when they are interseted you just don't realise it.

That's true. But then even when I do get a burst of confidence they still don't seem interested :rolleyes:

maybe i'm just blind when it comes to that sort of stuff lol

Reply 7

cally

Anonymous

lol, well if I'm ever in Rotherham I'll be sure to check out the pubs there :biggrin:

Or surrounding areas such as Wath, Wombwell, Barnsley, where I can also be located. Though I agree its a shame that too many people dont enjoy good intelligent converse!

Reply 8

Wonderboy Blue

1

Anonymous

I'm curious as to why whenever I go out, I go into a pub and every single guy i've ever spoken to has treated me like a friend, as opposed to someone they may like and possibly want to go out with.

What is it that i'm doing wrong?

I'm not exactly the most confident of people to begin with, but it just doesn't make sense to me that men always go for the women who are forward and straight to the point, as opposed to going for a woman who while they may take a bit more time in getting to know them, will probably end up just as happy to be in a relationship with the guy in question?

Thanks xx

IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE THEN ASK THEM IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO GO FOR A DATE.

Don't leave it to men because we all know how STUPID they are I mean they want to know why a girl doesn't want to talk to them yet goes for the guy who is straight to the point.

Of course if you're ugly...obviously no one wants to go out with you.

Reply 9

Jonatan

13

Hands up if you dislike sweeping generalisations...

Honestly tho, how do you know what they want? Did it ever occur to you that the kind of people who will instantly start hitting on you might be looking for someone similar to themselves? That is,girls who get right on the point and start flriting imediately? If you are more the kind of person who tries to talk to people and get to know them before you start flirting, then thats the type of peopel you'll attract. Seriously, at least try giving the guys a little time before you assume they are not interested. We don't all decide wether we like someone based on a 3 second first impression you know. Give us some credit...

Reply 10

woodlebert

maybe your more quiet approach, less forward. they take as not being interested. so merely act as a friend

Reply 11

Yeah

maybe youre not fit...

Reply 12

Seeks

Anonymous

I'm curious as to why whenever I go out, I go into a pub and every single guy i've ever spoken to has treated me like a friend, as opposed to someone they may like and possibly want to go out with.

What is it that i'm doing wrong?

I'm not exactly the most confident of people to begin with, but it just doesn't make sense to me that men always go for the women who are forward and straight to the point, as opposed to going for a woman who while they may take a bit more time in getting to know them, will probably end up just as happy to be in a relationship with the guy in question?

Thanks xx

Don't worry. I used to do what those people you mentioned do, but now I prefer to become friends and get to know them, because in the end it leads to a better relationship if anything happens. So they may like you, you just have to hang in there and look for other signs.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah

maybe youre not fit...

maybe you aren't either.

Reply 14

Crazster

16

Well maybe thats right. If you arn't fit it would explain why you arn't picking up many/any signals.

Oh and that big defensiveness thing.... yeah...

Reply 15

hermajesty

6

Dann

Maybe they ARE interested, but are, as you say, are getting to know you. Perhaps what you see as a lack of interest is actually just a subtle approach.

As for us with women, I like women who can make it clear that they are interested without making it painfully obvious. Thing is, sometimes guys find it hard to see when a women is interested, its been said time and time again that we just can't see the signs. If women are actors, men are a panto audience.

Which I have just realised is neither a very helpful nor informative post. But the sentiment remains the same.

Lol

.

Can you be more specific? Like, how many signs does it take for it to be 'clear but not painfully obvious'? A few long glances, or a lot? Touching?- but how much? I never know if I'm sending out the right amount of signals - often guys don't seem to realise, but I don't want to be too strong, because then it would be awkward for them if they didn't like me back.

Reply 16

Seeks

Yup I can agree on the akward thing, one of my friends recently told me they fancied me and had a go at me because i didnt notice :redface:

. Things were akward for a day but they are back to normal now. It depends on the person, whether its akward or not. But IMO you have to lose a few "battles" to win a few.

On the point of us guys being totally stupid when seeing the signs, so are girls sometimes (suffered there myself, giving the most blatent hints and them still not guessing). But basically the reason is, if they have flirted with you since you known them, to you its just the way they are all the time and has nothing to do with flirting, although you may get a slight hint of a thought if someone else mentions it. Even when you do get that hint, most people choose to ignore it because of the "how can anyway fancy me?" type of thought...

guys - why do you do it?

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