Regretting a breakup Watch

SianyLou
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#1
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For numerous reasons that I won't even begin to go into now, my boyfriend and I have recently split up. We were practically living together for my first year (his 2nd year) at uni and planned on living together in July (ie 3days ago). Now we've split, I ended it, and I feel really guilty. I ended it three days before his birthday, and left him in his studio flat by himself. I feel that (before anyone begins to criticise me) I must be completely heartless to do this to a person I'm supposed to care alot about. We've now decided to be friends, but I'm not sure I can be friends without wanting more. I know he feels the same, I miss him alot but I'm not sure if we should get back together under different circumstances or not... What I mean is, now he's found a place to live and I'm looking for one, do you think maybe we should try and make it work on a more casual basis? Maybe it would work if we didn't spend 24/7 together? Opinions please
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darkstar09
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If you two love each other then why did you break up?
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Angelic Sarah
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There must of been good reasons for your break up so would these reasons still stand if you got back together?

Just thinking that if you got back with him you dont want to think the same and cause heartbreak all over again
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Laika
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I wish my ex felt like you as I'm in almost the same position as your boyfriend.

If you think it might work I would say go for it rather than force yourself to move on but I'm biased.
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NViasko
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You will come up with the goods....
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SianyLou
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We love each other and practically lived together, I still love him but we're not gonna live together.
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Glory
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Maybe give it a go without living together then. As much as i love my chap i cant handle more than a day at a time stopping at his house.
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SianyLou
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We only split a week ago, do you think that maybe we should be friends first for a while and see if it leads elsewhere? I'm going up to Sheffield on Thursday, we're going on a 'mate-date' to the cinema to watch the new POTC2 and then I'm stopping in his flat (on the floor might I add)...the main reason I'm going up there is to househunt and he offered me his floor...?!
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Glory
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if you love him, i dont think friends will be possible. Because as you said you'll end up wanting more.
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SianyLou
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ok, friends with an ulterior motive then, hehe. he told me that although he wants me, he wont make the 1st move this time...
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Fruit-cake
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It seems as if youre seriously regretting it and do really want to get back with him. Its not fair to muck him about tho so if you do decide to get back together dont do it to him again...

And yes you probably will have to make the first move.
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Janina1986
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why don't you tell him how you feel when you go on your 'mate-date'.. i mean tell him you could imagine being with him if you had a little bit more time to yourself. see what he says.. who knows maybe he doesn't even want you back cos you have hurt him so much? then you don't have to bother thinking about it all. and if he says its a good idea then there you go..

But don't feel pressured that you have to stay with him even if it doesn't work out, i'm sure you are both mature and experienced enough to know that there is no guarantee
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SianyLou
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I've semi spoken to him about it, and he said that he'd wanna be friends then see it progress. He said that he loves me etc, and yes I hurt him but that I must've been unhappy to do it in the first place. Thanks guys!
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El Scotto
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(Original post by babynessontoast)
For numerous reasons that I won't even begin to go into now, my boyfriend and I have recently split up. We were practically living together for my first year (his 2nd year) at uni and planned on living together in July (ie 3days ago). Now we've split, I ended it, and I feel really guilty. I ended it three days before his birthday, and left him in his studio flat by himself. I feel that (before anyone begins to criticise me) I must be completely heartless to do this to a person I'm supposed to care alot about. We've now decided to be friends, but I'm not sure I can be friends without wanting more. I know he feels the same, I miss him alot but I'm not sure if we should get back together under different circumstances or not... What I mean is, now he's found a place to live and I'm looking for one, do you think maybe we should try and make it work on a more casual basis? Maybe it would work if we didn't spend 24/7 together? Opinions please


Sounds like hes best rid. You dumped him 3 days before his birthday?? !!

Thats harsh. If I was him, i'd have your number deleted quick as a flash.
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SianyLou
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So what am I supposed to do? Wait til after his birthday, after we'd moved into the house? He got his birthday presents and everything, what else is a birthday for?
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Jen2327
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if u love him why end it?
if u want more why end it?

u explain when u finished him but not the reason for doing it?
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Glory
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(Original post by Jen2327)
if u love him why end it?
if u want more why end it?

u explain when u finished him but not the reason for doing it?]
She did..

We love each other, but it ended up with me feeling a little suffocated. I loved spending time with him, but the sheer amount of time (ie everyday and every night!) we spent together got to me a bit. He's 24 and I'm 19, he seemed like he really wanted to settle down, and while I could maybe see myself with him a couple of years down the line, I didn't really want to lose my freedom so early in the relationship. I'm not blaming him, I feel terrible for what I did cos it's not like a big row ended the relationship - I just told him I didn't wanna be with him anymore. Another thing, he's an international from Canada and will probably end up going home next summer as he'll have finished his degree...something he wouldn't have done had we still been together...I feel so confuuuuused!
Let me summerise: They spend to much time together, its starting to send her crazy, she doesnt have any time to herself. She feels suffercated! Hes probabily going to move home to canada and leave her at university when he graduates.
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aurion
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#18
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ive been in the same situation. i was going out with a great guy for only five months last year but its the longest ive been with some one. i ended it really badly but we are still really close friends. he has another girlfriend now and as much as i want to try again all i can do is be happy for him.
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SianyLou
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#19
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This isn't my longest relationship but this feels different.
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