This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Girlfriends family only bother with us at Christmas
- People only interested now had a baby
- Marrying my white lesbian girlfriend; homophobic Muslim family
- Family not letting me leave
- keep relapsing on porn
- Girl thinks I’m a virgin but I’m not
- How to find a girlfriend
- European countries should encourage people to have more children by cutting taxes
- ‘Student’ moving in with ‘teachers’ — very niche situation, please help!
- Should i leave home for university? Im afraid i'll loose people
- Controlling and coercive 16 yr old gf
- Thematic Essay on Romeo and Juliet
- I can’t penatrate my girlfriend
- Please mark my critical essay and tell me what I can improve
- Seeking Advice for a Reliable Solicitor for Education and Family Matters
- Friends have made plans on my birthday
- getting into IB through non target uni
- Long Distance Relationship: Texting
- Wtf?
- Depressed boyfriend doesn’t listen to me
Girlfriend's family issues effecting us
My girlfriend has always had trouble at home in the sense that she doesnt get on with her sister, and because of the type of person she is. One thing that has gotten to in the last few months is that she gets very stressed, easily and then takes it out on other people. She likes everything to go her way and gets annoyed if it doesnt (doesnt everyone, but she seems to take it a lot worse than anyone).
Anyway on saturday, she asked her mum (nicely) where some card was, so she could make a friend a birthday card (she loves handmaking them) and her mum is very much the same (stressed easily) and as you know it was a hot day, and apparntly she hadnt taken her medication so she wouldnt tell my girlfriend where it was, instead insisted on getting it. My girlfriend shouted because she was in a rush and doesnt like it when someone else slows her down (type of thing). Anyway to cut a long story short after a bit her mum went downstairs to get it, and while rummaging for it felll over for something and burst into tears and got very aggressive. My girlfriend tried to help but then somehow this turned into anouther fight. Her mum went storming out and about a minute later came back and slapped my girlfriend at which point i got up and got in the middle to break it up. I am a relativly calm person so I just said (nicely and calmly) for her mum to go upstairs and calm down, and then of course checked if my girlfriend is alright.
After my girlfriend cooled down a bit she had a go at me for getting involved. And this really has been the pattern throughout our relationship (going out almost a year and a half now). Whenever she is upset or stressed, I try to help because I dont like seeing her like that (obviously) and then she has a go at me.
Since the inccident however, we cant seem to "get on" like we did for more than a few hours before we get in an argument, and what annoys me is they are about nothing, stupid little things that are SOOOO pointless. On top of this at my party which was last week, a very close friend of both of ours, told me that she fancied me badly (while drunk) and I told my girlfriend, because I tell her everything...its the type of person I am. Again she had a go at me for telling her, it was something "she didnt want to know" etc. Her friend now has been texting me from abroad (she is on holiday) with things like "hotel is by the beach, its perfect. only one thing could make it better...u. love u". I will admit to really liking this girl, but nothing will happen as long as I have got my current girlfriend, and now... I am just stuck and confused. I have no idea what to do, and this mess is giving me a headache but needs to be sorted
Any advise would be GREAT!
Anyway on saturday, she asked her mum (nicely) where some card was, so she could make a friend a birthday card (she loves handmaking them) and her mum is very much the same (stressed easily) and as you know it was a hot day, and apparntly she hadnt taken her medication so she wouldnt tell my girlfriend where it was, instead insisted on getting it. My girlfriend shouted because she was in a rush and doesnt like it when someone else slows her down (type of thing). Anyway to cut a long story short after a bit her mum went downstairs to get it, and while rummaging for it felll over for something and burst into tears and got very aggressive. My girlfriend tried to help but then somehow this turned into anouther fight. Her mum went storming out and about a minute later came back and slapped my girlfriend at which point i got up and got in the middle to break it up. I am a relativly calm person so I just said (nicely and calmly) for her mum to go upstairs and calm down, and then of course checked if my girlfriend is alright.
After my girlfriend cooled down a bit she had a go at me for getting involved. And this really has been the pattern throughout our relationship (going out almost a year and a half now). Whenever she is upset or stressed, I try to help because I dont like seeing her like that (obviously) and then she has a go at me.
Since the inccident however, we cant seem to "get on" like we did for more than a few hours before we get in an argument, and what annoys me is they are about nothing, stupid little things that are SOOOO pointless. On top of this at my party which was last week, a very close friend of both of ours, told me that she fancied me badly (while drunk) and I told my girlfriend, because I tell her everything...its the type of person I am. Again she had a go at me for telling her, it was something "she didnt want to know" etc. Her friend now has been texting me from abroad (she is on holiday) with things like "hotel is by the beach, its perfect. only one thing could make it better...u. love u". I will admit to really liking this girl, but nothing will happen as long as I have got my current girlfriend, and now... I am just stuck and confused. I have no idea what to do, and this mess is giving me a headache but needs to be sorted
Any advise would be GREAT!
never never never go out with ur girlfriend (or ex as it would be)'s mate.. never never ever! a year and a half is long enough for that rule to be automatically in place! U really didn't need to tell ur gf what her mate had said, and i would've been upset too. as long as u weren't intending on reciprocating, she didn't need to know. what she doesn't know won't hurt her. now, if ever you split up, she's gonna be ever paranoid...and has reason 2 b if ur post is anything to go by! girls and mums are meant to argue, my mum and i are the same...don't get involved because it'll pass. if u get involved then when the whole things over, her mum might hold it against u!
First thing, steer clear of the other girl, I know you said you like her but she seems like a nasty piece of work and obviously not a good friend as she's obviously trying to get between you and your girlfriend and ruin the relationship.
I think your girlfriend just seems to be very stressed. I have a similar home situation and I know it stresses me out so much. My boyfriend doesn't get involved, I'm sure it makes him feel uncomfortable and I understand that. Maybe try not to get involved in arguments - if you want to show your opinion maybe just leave the room? And see how your girlfriend is when their argument is over.
As for you telling her that at the party, I think she probably was just upset at the idea of her friend coming onto you and took it out on you. If I were her I would probably be worried and frustrated and not sure what I could do to fix the problem - extra stress!! I'd have wondered why you were telling me - did you find it funny? Were you flattered or bragging? I'm sure you weren't but maybe that's just how she interpreted it. I think you should talk to her and say that you just wanted to be honest with her. I personally don't agree that 'ignorance is bliss' and if I was in her shoes then I'd probably be glad to be told later on - I wouldn't be very happy if one of my girl friends said that to my boyfriend!
But, as her friend has obviously decided to try and take things further, I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to her about it again - this time as a genuine concern. She needs to have a serious talk with her friend, and as I said at the start I think you should stop talking to this girl because it's just going to encourage her.
I think your girlfriend just seems to be very stressed. I have a similar home situation and I know it stresses me out so much. My boyfriend doesn't get involved, I'm sure it makes him feel uncomfortable and I understand that. Maybe try not to get involved in arguments - if you want to show your opinion maybe just leave the room? And see how your girlfriend is when their argument is over.
As for you telling her that at the party, I think she probably was just upset at the idea of her friend coming onto you and took it out on you. If I were her I would probably be worried and frustrated and not sure what I could do to fix the problem - extra stress!! I'd have wondered why you were telling me - did you find it funny? Were you flattered or bragging? I'm sure you weren't but maybe that's just how she interpreted it. I think you should talk to her and say that you just wanted to be honest with her. I personally don't agree that 'ignorance is bliss' and if I was in her shoes then I'd probably be glad to be told later on - I wouldn't be very happy if one of my girl friends said that to my boyfriend!
But, as her friend has obviously decided to try and take things further, I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to her about it again - this time as a genuine concern. She needs to have a serious talk with her friend, and as I said at the start I think you should stop talking to this girl because it's just going to encourage her.
They have been friends for about 1 month while i have known her for a bit longer. My girlfriend is really only a friend because I have brough her along when I have gone out with this friend. According to what she said, was that she was upset not because she fancied me but because she wanted to be friends with her, as they got on well and now she things that wont be able to happen.
As for getting involved in the argument, this is the first time I EVER got involved. And the only reason I got involved because the fight was starting to get physical, and I dont want my girlfriend being hurt.
As for getting involved in the argument, this is the first time I EVER got involved. And the only reason I got involved because the fight was starting to get physical, and I dont want my girlfriend being hurt.
bunthulhu
Hmm well you sound like a caring guy and you obviously mean well, obviously you don't want her getting hurt but I doubt it would ever go further than a slap?
It doesn't matter whether this girl is your friend or her friend, she's in the wrong and she needs to back off!
It doesn't matter whether this girl is your friend or her friend, she's in the wrong and she needs to back off!
I have told her already that she has no chance as long as myself and my girlfriend are together and she said that is fine, although I think she knows my girlfriend and I arnt having the best time at the moment because i was also told by my friend "you need to sort out whateva wit _____" where ____ is the name of my girlfriend.
Thanks for the advise
Ah I see, well that's pretty much one problem solved then. I think you should just really try and talk to your girlfriend about what happened - say you were just trying to help, it's really not fair that she got upset at you, you were just being protective and looking after her and you did nothing wrong. But tell her you understand she's stressed and next time you'll just leave the room and won't get involved, maybe see what she says to that?
Hope it all works out for you.
Hope it all works out for you.
Your g/f sounds kinda insecure, you know, it seems as if maybe she's trying to test you to make sure you keep on proving to her that it's her you want to be with, so she behaves lik this and takes it out on you cause she knows, or hopes, you won't leave. If that makes any sense.
Maybe you could talk to your g/f and explain that you do care about her, etc, but she's pushing you away? Would that work?
You can't just make someone else's problems go away like that *snaps fingers* and if it's starting to hurt you, you should probably sit down and think about whether it's worth it or not. Only you can work that out though, really.
Whatever happens, you sound like a really really nice bloke
and I agree with bunthulu- hope it does work out for you. 
Maybe you could talk to your g/f and explain that you do care about her, etc, but she's pushing you away? Would that work?
You can't just make someone else's problems go away like that *snaps fingers* and if it's starting to hurt you, you should probably sit down and think about whether it's worth it or not. Only you can work that out though, really.
Whatever happens, you sound like a really really nice bloke
and I agree with bunthulu- hope it does work out for you. bunthulhu
Ah I see, well that's pretty much one problem solved then. I think you should just really try and talk to your girlfriend about what happened - say you were just trying to help, it's really not fair that she got upset at you, you were just being protective and looking after her and you did nothing wrong. But tell her you understand she's stressed and next time you'll just leave the room and won't get involved, maybe see what she says to that?
Hope it all works out for you.
Hope it all works out for you.
Thank you the advise is greatly appreciated
Anonymous
Thank you the advise is greatly appreciated
Thanks, for that advise. Its actually very useful. I may need that talk soonish. My basic problem is that I dont want to hurt my girlfriend or my friend AND I dont want to lose either of them as the good friends they are now. My girlfriend used to be my girlfriend and my best friend, but recently the latter party has changed
and it does upset meSorry for the multiple posts I meant to quote clyn not myself 
Related discussions
- Girlfriends family only bother with us at Christmas
- People only interested now had a baby
- Marrying my white lesbian girlfriend; homophobic Muslim family
- Family not letting me leave
- keep relapsing on porn
- Girl thinks I’m a virgin but I’m not
- How to find a girlfriend
- European countries should encourage people to have more children by cutting taxes
- ‘Student’ moving in with ‘teachers’ — very niche situation, please help!
- Should i leave home for university? Im afraid i'll loose people
- Controlling and coercive 16 yr old gf
- Thematic Essay on Romeo and Juliet
- I can’t penatrate my girlfriend
- Please mark my critical essay and tell me what I can improve
- Seeking Advice for a Reliable Solicitor for Education and Family Matters
- Friends have made plans on my birthday
- getting into IB through non target uni
- Long Distance Relationship: Texting
- Wtf?
- Depressed boyfriend doesn’t listen to me
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
How can I apply for university and get my letters without my parents finding outLast reply 1 month ago
Dealing with and keeping lies to my aggressive parentsLast reply 1 month ago
(Serious) How do I get rid of weird feelings with my boobs and femininity?Last reply 1 month ago
For those of you who have younger cousins or nieces and nephews why do you do this?Fitness
6
8
Last reply 1 month ago
People who claim to wash in 5mins aren’t showering properlyLast reply 1 month ago
2024 has been a horrible year for me overall and I just wanted your thoughtsLast reply 2 months ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.
