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Bisexuality

For those of you with other halves (and maybe those without if you can be constructive) what would be your thoughts if a boyfriend or girlfriend told you they were bisexual?

Reply 1

suzie_h

1

Only really had 1 proper relationship before, and he didnt mind at all, he loved it and was more excited by the prospect of a 3some :rolleyes:

Reply 2

Rooftopcowboy

12

id say they are maybe either bored of the relationship, as their mind is on other things

or, that they havent fully "found themselves" yet, and arnt sure if they want to be in a straight relationship yet. Ie they are thinking about men, women and all sorts of different stuff.

either way, and i know this will sound harsh...im not convinced that relationships can last in these situations. As someday the gf/bf will want to experiment and obviously you cant offer both genders for him/her to satisfy themselves with, theyd need an "affair" so to speak, with a boyfreind or girlfreind. So even the most open minded people wouldent be able to cope with that IMO

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Do you think it seems a bigger deal if its the guy in the relationship thats bi?

Reply 4

lime3k

I'd be a little concerned about how they'd found that out about themselfs during a relationship. Unless they'd known it before then that wouldn't bother me.

Reply 5

grace

15

Anonymous

Do you think it seems a bigger deal if its the guy in the relationship thats bi?

nah, i don't really think most guys would be thrilled to hear that their gf was bisexual if he didn't know it before getting with her; contrary to the immature belief that mens reaction would be 'yeah i is well up for a threesome lollllzzzzzzzzz innit' :rolleyes:

i don't think the sex of the person matters; it's like rooftop cowboy said, the idea you weren't fullfilling them and they wanted to experiment would be upsetting

Reply 6

lime3k

Anonymous

Do you think it seems a bigger deal if its the guy in the relationship thats bi?

yeah - how many bi guys do you know and how many girls? usually more girls right

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

perhaps should have been clearer: not that the responses havent been great. If you were told by someone after what you consider to be a significant amount of time (lets say four months) when the person in question had known about their sexuality long before the two of you got together.

Reply 8

Rooftopcowboy

12

Anonymous

Do you think it seems a bigger deal if its the guy in the relationship thats bi?

id say its the same for both genders

though for a guy to firstly think hes bisexual, then secondly to tell someone, means he has thought about it for ages (IMO of course) as admitting bisexuality/homosexuality is a major think for a bloke to do (mainly for the taunts etc that would ensure if the public got to know)

this might be also the case for women too..but certainly for a guy, he must have thought like this for a while.

it could just be a faze though, and also just about all men have some kind of 'interest' in other men, like being competitive about penis sizes, and sometimes this 'interest' and thoughts can get men confused (particulalrly in puberty)

the above isnt my experience particulalry, but ive read enough "am i gay" style TSR posts/threads to realise a lot of other men get confused easily.

Reply 9

Rooftopcowboy

12

Anonymous

perhaps should have been clearer: not that the responses havent been great. If you were told by someone after what you consider to be a significant amount of time (lets say four months) when the person in question had known about their sexuality long before the two of you got together.

id say you should maybe try and stay calm and cool about it all, and offer support.

also consider the fact that one of the reasons for going out with you may have been to try and clarify his thoughts.

also maybe you should make clear (if you dont like whats happening of course) that you wouldent want to be in a relationship with a bisexual man, and that you want a 'straight' man, and see how he responds.

Reply 10

suzie_h

1

Obviously you'd feel shocked and annoyed that they hadn't told you sooner, but maybe the person in question just didn't feel ready to open up to you? I'd feel like i wasn't fully pleasing the other person, but i suppose you will always experience that if you go out with someone that's bi.

Reply 11

TKR

15

i wouldnt want to date a bisexual guy

Reply 12

bunthulhu

14

I don't want to come across as mean or prejudiced but I'd feel very uncomfortable if my boyfriend told me he was bisexual. It totally goes against his character. I can't really pinpoint why I'd have such a problem with it though.

Reply 13

Pseudomuse

1

really wouldn't bother me. they'd still be the same person and i'd still love them!

Reply 14

Sheen

11

i dont think id be bothered by it as i am anyway.

Reply 15

sleepy_person!

Hmmm I can't really explain why this is, but if I knew he was bi from the start, and I fell in love with a bi man it wouldn't bother me (i.e. captain Jack style form Dr. Who- he's hot), but if I'd got to know the man as a straight man, and had say a vision in my mind of what and who he is then I think I'd have real trouble coming to terms with his sexuality, even if he'd been bi since before we got together..

Reply 16

Pseudomuse

1

sleepy_person!

Hmmm I can't really explain why this is, but if I knew he was bi from the start, and I fell in love with a bi man it wouldn't bother me (i.e. captain Jack style form Dr. Who- he's hot), but if I'd got to know the man as a straight man, and had say a vision in my mind of what and who he is then I think I'd have real trouble coming to terms with his sexuality, even if he'd been bi since before we got together..

captain Jack is very hot :biggrin:

Reply 17

stoney

12

If i fell in love with a girl and found out that she was bi then i'd be upset. she'd obviously be wanting to experiment and would be thinking about something i couldnt give her also there is an issue with them looking at more people (but if theres trust this doesnt really matter). I find threesomes repulsive somewhat and wouldnt want anyone else involved in a private expression of me and my partners love for eachother (thats just my opinion of course). but if i found out something like that i'd just try to deal with it, you cant go around restricting peoples sexuallity so i guess you'd just have to be honest about how you felt and see how the relationship went. after you've been honest with them the balls in thier court really they can say this isnt goin to work if you feel like that or they can try to reassure you in some way.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

I'm currently dating a bisexual girl.

Don't get me wrong - I am scared about her wanting to get off with guys, and I hate the thought of her with a guy, but I can't deny her that. I love her and I want what's best for her and I'm just accepting the fact that one day she might wanna go off with a guy.

It's hard to explain - I can't imagine life without her but if being with a guy would make her happier than being with me then who am I to stop that?? I'd be heartbroken but I can't stand in the way of someones happiness.

(I'm a gay female BTW, in a relationship with another female (obv))

Reply 19

Anonymous #3

I think many of you are overreacting. I am a bi girl, and if I told my bf it wouldn't mean I wanted to experiment. Just because you are attracted to people outside a relationship it doesn't mean you'll cheat, and IMO the gender of these people should make no difference. Personally I would want to tell a bf because its an important part of my personality, it explains some of my reactions to things like discrimination, and because I wouldn't want to keep a secret from them. But I might not tell them before going out with them, because its a personal thing and I only tell people once I trust them; also I might be scared of their reaction.

To the OP - are you the bi person, or the bi person's partner?

Bisexuality

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