ive had enough

basically, after years of my mum telling me ive ruined her life and the whole families life, n her telling me to get out, for the 1st time in my life i actually said i will go. no one in my family is talking to me, everyone wishes i wasnt there, and i havent even done nothing big, except answer back to my mum. I just dont know what to do, everone is telling me to aplologise, but how can i apologise for 'ruining everyones life', ive just had enough and want to go. however id have to take all my things at once as i wouldnt be allowed back, id have to drop out of uni, and tbh i dnt really have anywhere to go. i can stay with a friend but that obviously cant be forever. im just so confused. my mum is at work, and when she comes back i have to stand in silence for the rest of the evening as i cant go to my room.

Reply 1

Unregistered

Anonymous

basically, after years of my mum telling me ive ruined her life and the whole families life, n her telling me to get out, for the 1st time in my life i actually said i will go. no one in my family is talking to me, everyone wishes i wasnt there, and i havent even done nothing big, except answer back to my mum. I just dont know what to do, everone is telling me to aplologise, but how can i apologise for 'ruining everyones life', ive just had enough and want to go. however id have to take all my things at once as i wouldnt be allowed back, id have to drop out of uni, and tbh i dnt really have anywhere to go. i can stay with a friend but that obviously cant be forever. im just so confused. my mum is at work, and when she comes back i have to stand in silence for the rest of the evening as i cant go to my room.

If she told you to leave, take it and run. It'd be her fault in the end. Why would you have to drop out of uni, if you don't live at home then youget a big loan to cover it all, move to accommodation near your uni and get a job. Spend all day today looking around, you shouldn't have to put up with such insults. Maybe if she sees you are serious she'll apologise

Reply 2

Knight-of-Ni

2

why has she decided you have ruined her life?

and don't drop out of uni, as if you succumb to this she will be ruining YOUR life

i suggest you talk to the university, they have poeple that can sort you out with somewhere to stay, as i expect staying at home under these conditions is probably affecting your work, it would mine! :biggrin:

once you've actually left your family may realise what they've done, but noone deserves to be treated like you appear to have been! They may then come to apologise. But seriously, your university will be able to help you out, as they don't want anyone dropping out!

Hope it all works out for you :biggrin:

love knight-of-ni xxx

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Its just how will i be able to carry all my stuff, i know she wont let me back in the house? tbh, if getting away means being happier, then i dont mind if i have to sacrifice uni. i jus dont know what to do.

Reply 4

strawberry

13

whatever you do, stay in uni. otherwise she would have ruined your life, like someone mentioned earlier. well, I don't see why she wouldn't let you go back to the house to get the rest of your stuff though. It's not like you're gonna move back in.

Reply 5

Knight-of-Ni

2

If she doesn't then you may be able to get social services or something involved to get your stuff back? but seriously, explain everything to the uni! :biggrin:

and don't leave, you'll regret it for ever!

Reply 6

goodLife

Anonymous

basically, after years of my mum telling me ive ruined her life and the whole families life, n her telling me to get out, for the 1st time in my life i actually said i will go. no one in my family is talking to me, everyone wishes i wasnt there, and i havent even done nothing big, except answer back to my mum. I just dont know what to do, everone is telling me to aplologise, but how can i apologise for 'ruining everyones life', ive just had enough and want to go. however id have to take all my things at once as i wouldnt be allowed back, id have to drop out of uni, and tbh i dnt really have anywhere to go. i can stay with a friend but that obviously cant be forever. im just so confused. my mum is at work, and when she comes back i have to stand in silence for the rest of the evening as i cant go to my room.

You have not ruined her life that is just an excuse for her life being c*** at the moment and you are probably the easiest to blame (since you have been arguing or whatever) Do a few jobs around the house and when she gets back she might be in a different mood and think things over ..who knows. If you do have to move out though can you move into University halls?

Reply 7

high priestess fnord

9

do you live with her during term time? if not then hang in there!! get a job and save up to become more independant. it will keep you out of the house and out of your mothers way. make excuses to stay out of the house in the evenings, if you have nothing else to do then just stay outside somewhere. i used to take a book and just sit in a field but then i lived in the middle of nowhere. if you live in a town or somewhere with buses there will be other things to do and places to go. i know its hard wanting to be anywhere but your own home but it will get better.

you might also want to enquire about getting a bigger loan. i beleive if your financially independant you get extra help? see if you can get more help from uni and stuff too.

Reply 8

haroonyousaf

cant you get accomadation at the university. my family were being real pains and i contemplated moving out for a little while, i actually had it all planned out, apply for accomadation at uni, stay at my frined sin the summer before uni started and get a job pay a little rent to his mum althouhg i doubt she wouldve taken it from me. but ive sorted everything out now so maybe you could do the same.

Reply 9

RieLouise

1

Anonymous

basically, after years of my mum telling me ive ruined her life and the whole families life, n her telling me to get out, for the 1st time in my life i actually said i will go. no one in my family is talking to me, everyone wishes i wasnt there, and i havent even done nothing big, except answer back to my mum. I just dont know what to do, everone is telling me to aplologise, but how can i apologise for 'ruining everyones life', ive just had enough and want to go. however id have to take all my things at once as i wouldnt be allowed back, id have to drop out of uni, and tbh i dnt really have anywhere to go. i can stay with a friend but that obviously cant be forever. im just so confused. my mum is at work, and when she comes back i have to stand in silence for the rest of the evening as i cant go to my room.

Your mum is aware of how you arrived on this planet...isn't she?
(It sounds like she's trying to ruin your life.)

Go to the Student Counsellors at your uni. They may be able to offer you emergency accommodation. (and help you with the aftermath of leaving home.)

Reply 10

sidi

1

Difficult. Can you apologise to your mum for answering back and say that you will try to behave better in future? I know this is a bit hypocritical but it will buy you some time while you consider your options properly. Are you at uni in a different town? You might be able to get year round accommodation but probably not until October when contracts begin. Do you have a holiday job? Perhaps you could stay with friend until October. Belongings could go into storage but this is expensive.
Why do you have to stand in silence and not go to your room? Is this normal behaviour in your house? Do you have any extended family, distant aunts, uncles, cousins?

Reply 11

high priestess fnord

9

Red Samurai

You need to think about this realistically. Chances are, you're not going to be able to survive on your own for very long. I suggest you swallow your pride, and apologise profusely. It doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong for now, what's important is your future, and you need to stay at university, no matter what happens. You can't risk trying to move out until you at least finish your studies. Just hang in there for now, it can’t be that bad.

youve obviously never had problems with your parents. beleive me it can be that bad

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

its long family history, so its been going on nearly all my life, and i will always get the blame for everything. i have a couple of grands saving, and a friend has offered me a place to stay. As much as everyone hates me, what if it tears the family apart even more when i leave, as my dad will get really angry if i leave. im a muslim so my parents dont really approve of living with friends, i dont even get out of the house much during holidays.

ive had enough

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