People have found out I have a massive crush and are constantly asking me about him

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hey

Basically I have a massive crush on a guy I know but my friends at school don't. (I'm a girl by the way) I told my immediate group of friends (about five or six of us) because we share everything
Anyway, one of my other friends overheard me talking to them about him I think and now my wider group of friends know, and today one of these people was talking to me about him and more people know...

Anyway if you understand my point there lots of people are finding out, which is fine, I have no objection to that, but because they don't know him and he goes to a private school and I go to a state school etc. they're starting to take the piss a little bit, in a jokey sort of way.

Anyway it's starting to get a bit out of hand, it's just getting annoying and asking them to just relax about it a bit hasn't worked.

So any advice anyone?
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carrotstar
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#2
Report 6 years ago
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Be really glad they don't know him! Maybe you could deny it? That's what I always do. It's probably better than just confirming it because then it's less likely to spread. So long as you can keep a straight face and don't blush or anything they will probably continue to ask questions for a little while and then quieten down. By which point it'll be last weeks news.
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Sybella
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#3
Report 6 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey

Basically I have a massive crush on a guy I know but my friends at school don't. (I'm a girl by the way) I told my immediate group of friends (about five or six of us) because we share everything
Anyway, one of my other friends overheard me talking to them about him I think and now my wider group of friends know, and today one of these people was talking to me about him and more people know...

Anyway if you understand my point there lots of people are finding out, which is fine, I have no objection to that, but because they don't know him and he goes to a private school and I go to a state school etc. they're starting to take the piss a little bit, in a jokey sort of way.

Anyway it's starting to get a bit out of hand, it's just getting annoying and asking them to just relax about it a bit hasn't worked.

So any advice anyone?
I had a similar situation like this when I started the Academy (or Secondary School, whatever the equivalent is). I let it slip that I had a crush on someone in my year and a small minority of people within my outer friend's group pestered me to tell them who it was. Like, obsessively pestered.

It got to the point where this small minority started going out of their way to accost random boys I hung out with saying I fancied them (to the extent of bullying them even), but basically they would not let it go no matter what I said to them. It was unfortunate that I actually didn't have a crush on any guys on my year; I was actually a closet bisexual and had a crush on my best friend at the time

My advice would be to stand your ground; if you don't want these people to know, then don't tell them. I ended up caving in and just picking a random guy in my year and said I had a crush on him. They then made my life a living nightmare for a few weeks by threatening to tell this guy that I fancied him, then someone did tell him and life became even more awkward as he and his friends started actively avoiding me (they had just been bullied by a group of my so-called "friends" after all, I don't blame them). Hell, I'm about to graduate University and people STILL bring this up when I see anyone at home.

Next time someone brings it up (who is out-width your friend circle of course), tell them once that you'll ignore the topic if they bring it up again and that they've been warned. It's extreme, but it sounds like you've already tried to reason with them but they won't let it go. Make sure to pass this along to your inner friend group too; if there's a group of you willing to ignore the topic then eventually people will get the drift and move on.

If it escalates, however, and people start bullying you or your friends.... Report it to a teacher. Bullying is bullying, no matter how it's dressed up.
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