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Tell me why this is so

Hey

Throughout school i only managed to make three friends! Now that i'm going to university do you think that i can make more friends. The thing is that the friends that i made at school are not exacly the type of friends that i had in mind; we were like the left-overs, kids that no one wanted to be mates with. I want to make friends with people who are 'in the scene', ones that everyone wants to know. How can i do this?

Thanks

Reply 1

thegreatstupendo

2

Well ask yourself, why didn't you make friends with these people at school?

Work out why, then do whatever you weren't doing.

Reply 2

sweetface.

Just talk to people who you feel comfortable hanging around with. You really don't want to make firends with the "it" crowd i have tried that, it's not a good thing to be popular trust me. Just make firends with people who you feel that kind and firendly.

Reply 3

sahsum

13

You'll meet loads of new people at uni!! and im sure some of then will turn into friends. Just be easy going, up for a laugh, but probably most importantly be yourself!!

Reply 4

NViasko

Anonymous

Hey

Throughout school i only managed to make three friends! Now that i'm going to university do you think that i can make more friends. The thing is that the friends that i made at school are not exacly the type of friends that i had in mind; we were like the left-overs, kids that no one wanted to be mates with. I want to make friends with people who are 'in the scene', ones that everyone wants to know. How can i do this?

Thanks

"left-overs" LOL

Reply 5

TheShrimp

5

Lyndzxx

Just talk to people who you feel comfortable hanging around with. You really don't want to make firends with the "it" crowd i have tried that, it's not a good thing to be popular trust me. Just make firends with people who you feel that kind and firendly.

I totally agree - you might not feel comfortable with the "it" crowd & then they won't be real friends!

Remember, everyone will be starting uni looking for new friends, so I'm sure (well, I'm hoping myself when I start uni!) that most people will be accommodating if you make the effort to talk to them.

Good luck! :biggrin:

Reply 6

spongepantssquarebob

2

3 over the whole 7 years?

Reply 7

Hlasta

Ðaniel §on

3 over the whole 7 years?

erm.. isn't school 14 years?

But yes - hopefully if you go with the right attitude you should make lots of frinds, and try not to care too much about what others think, even though it's hard. I think at uni (although I havn't been) there is sort of less of the whole in groups and "left-overs". I had hardly any real friends until the end of year 11 and sixth form when I made quite a few. Yes, some people seemed to think we weren't worth the time of day but we just ignored them becasue we were happy with our own friendship group as it was.

Reply 8

Caribou

1

Wherever you go, there you will be.

Reply 9

Theresa Smells

1

Lyndzxx

Just talk to people who you feel comfortable hanging around with. You really don't want to make firends with the "it" crowd i have tried that, it's not a good thing to be popular trust me. Just make firends with people who you feel that kind and firendly.

Reply 10

salsitas

don't try too hard, cos that will make you look desperate and clingy. Just go with the flow, make an effort to talk to people.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Hi. I can say I was in the same situation as you were but it only lasted for a couple of weeks(when i moved to another school). The thing is, its up to you whether people will make friends with you. YOu really need to have a great first impression on people or else you blew it. However, the key to being in the "it" crowd is to actually not to bother being in the "it" crowd. The more you want to be in the it crowd, the mor eunlikely you will be.Just think of you and your friends as the it crowd and you will start feeling better about yourself and start developing your personality. Be happy with who you are with and you might start being friends with other people as well. but DON'T EVER DUMP YOUR OLD FRIENDS. One of the worst move of making friends is just to move on to a new group as they will see you as the outsider who's trying to fit in. Just always be yourself! I find being the college clown gain me a reputation to the whole college. Everyone knows me not because I do sports or whatever, but solely on my personality and by being myself and making everyone laugh. To be honest, don't try to be somendoy else to fit in as you wouldn't want to be someon else as its like losing your identity.
So basically, try to make your friends laugh. try to make everyone laugh i.e. class. Try to have a spiderweb brain and rememebr everyone's special things i.e. this guy went to Monaco, it can easily connect to conversation topics i.e. grand prix, celebrities in monaco, sailing ----leading to sports, ask if he does sports, -----any extra vurrivular activites...get it??? just basically into conversation with them...but mind you its not all about them, let them get to know you as well i.e. when they say i do basketball, then you can say "really? i do football"...etc. etc. etc

Reply 12

dementedbunny

11

man, don't base friendships on popularity. popularity shouldn't be a factor in this. as long are you genuinely like your friends and have a good time, that's all you should be worried about.

i guess you didn't make friends in highschool because highschool can be so clique-y. in uni, you'll find more people with the same interests and they'll have matured (hopefully) from that highschool mode.

Reply 13

hermajesty

6

Hiya,

I agree that you shouldn't worry too much about who is 'in the scene'. At school there is lots of emphasis on who is 'cool' and who is not, but thankfully as you get older this becomes a lot less important. You are probably just as fun and interesting, and almost certainly more individual, that the 'in' crowd, who tend to exclude people for very little reason just to make themselves feel important.

So at uni, don't worry too much about being cool because you will only seem desperate. Follow your interests, talk to the people who in your opinion are fascinating, funny and friendly, and you will end up with a great group of friends.

Good luck.

Reply 14

crazy4dancin

Lyndzxx

Just talk to people who you feel comfortable hanging around with. You really don't want to make firends with the "it" crowd i have tried that, it's not a good thing to be popular trust me. Just make firends with people who you feel that kind and firendly.

Why is it not good to be popular? surely being popular means your liked and that this is a good thing? I'd say I was pretty popular and I'm happy!

In terms of wanting to be in the 'IT' group it's not a good idea to want that, if your yourself and a good person you will naturally make friends. You may not get on with the type of person you think want to be mates with. I don't think you'll have a problem making friends because everyone is in the same boat to begin with and everyone is open to meeting new people (from my experience). Constantly judging who is popular and trying to get in with a certain group won't work, the less you worry about it and the more you socialise and get on with it the more likely you are to meet some good friendsxx

Reply 15

lirael2

1

Being with the in crowd is not a good way to make friends you should be with people for them not who they know or if people want to get to know them. I was the same in high school but those weer the people i liked. I could never in a million years be in the sterotypical im better then everyone else group.

Reply 16

Tw!stEd

2

I would rather be with my 3 best mates then the 'in' crowd....

Reply 17

podder

1

some people just aint meant to be in the "in scene". if everyone was in it then there wouldnt be one! just hang round with people u can be yourself around, same hobbies etc. maybe its your personality itself that converts you into one of the "left overs". to me, it seems that your kinda shallow as you class people as "left overs" and you want to be scene as the "cool one".

Reply 18

Dramatic Star

2

School can be a very cruel place when in terms of forming friendships. I didn't have that many friends in school & it lowered my self-esteem no end. However, it wasn't until sixth form that I 'came out of my shell', & although I didn't make many more friends within school, I started to form relationships out of school (e.g. work & socialising), ironically with some of the people who had finished in Yr 11 who I hadn't been friends with during school.

University is a whole new experience & luckily people (on the whole) mature a damn lot over the holidays. Within my year, it gives me great pleasure in discovering that those who were a bit 'stuck-up' & had lots of friends have little friends at Uni as most people are more open minded & won't put up with that ****.

My advice is to take University as an opportunity. If your shy, there are people like that at Uni too. Don't change who you are because you can't hide your real self. Instead, try & develop your confidence & friends will follow.