Sleeping over with boyfriend

Well, the thing is, they know why he would be 'sleeping' over. This is what they might feel uncomfortable about.

Reply 2

Dimez

I'd wait 'till uni if I were you. No point in breaking family kinship when you're soon to leave the house. Patience is a virtue... :rolleyes:

Reply 3

OP

Yea I guess so but at the same time I'm 2 years over the legal age and I'll be away at uni soon where they can't say anything about it at all. But then I don't want to sound sex-crazed to them! Its not really just about that.

Reply 4

OP

Patience is a virtue! you're right but we're not going to uni together is the only problem, otherwise I would 100% wait.

Reply 5

katie_m4

I was just wondering how anybody broached the idea to their parents of their boyfriend/girlfriend of sleeping over? I'm 18 but I think they would take it really badly and probably say no, but I dunno whether I should argue about it until they relent because I am 18 and leaving for uni in the next 4 months. Any advice would be great :smile:

Have they met your boyfriend properly yet? If not, I'd let them do that first so they know who they're letting into their house! Assuming this goes ok, perhaps arrange some sort of evening out with him and then say "Is it ok if he stays over afterwards?" They may say no, they may say yes. If they do say no, then don't throw a hissy fit and try to argue your way through "till they relent", because that won't help them to get an impression of you as a mature adult and will sour your relationship between them and your boyfriend. Try to reason with them, ask what they're not comfortable with and if there's any compromise agreement you can come to. Dealing with it as an adult makes it much more likely that you'll be treated as one. If they're adamant about it, then I'm afraid you'll just have to wait till uni... Whatever you do, try to be discreet - put out a camp bed if you have one (if you don't have a double bed) and DON'T have loud sex!

I didn't have such a tricky situation as you because I was 21 before I had a boyfriend who needed to stay over (we live ~3 hours apart in holidays so day trips aren't really practical!) I went to his on the first trip, and although his mum made us sleep in separate bedrooms that time, she's since let us share the spare room on the grounds that we sleep together at uni anyway so there's no point restricting us at home. My house doesn't have a spare room, so when he came to stay at mine I did check with my parents that it was ok. They did briefly suggest that my sister move into my room and he went in her room (which is tiny) but I pointed out he was probably too tall for her bed and it would just be awkward all round. Since then it's been fine and he stays on a chairbed on my floor.

Reply 6

Dimez

^^ Ooh that'd be an entirely different issue then. Can you not sleep round his house?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

I didn't tell them he stay over when my parents wasn't in

Reply 8

OP

Yea we've been together about 2 and a half years, so he's not a newbie. I know what you mean I wouldn't be an ass about it but I just don't want that awkward conversation if they'll say no but always remember it. He has stayed here before after nights out but on the sofa, its just staying at his thats new territory.

Reply 9

Wonderboy Blue

katie_m4

Yea I guess so but at the same time I'm 2 years over the legal age and I'll be away at uni soon where they can't say anything about it at all. But then I don't want to sound sex-crazed to them! Its not really just about that.

Have him stay for a night when your parents are out? Or ask them to go out when he stays. I told my mum I was having a girl over to stay and for her and my sister to stay the f away. We had the house to ourselves.

Or you stay at his?

The other option is to have him stay at your flat at uni.

Reply 10

Wonderboy Blue

Have him stay for a night when your parents are out? Or ask them to go out when he stays. I told my mum I was having a girl over to stay and for her and my sister to stay the f away. We had the house to ourselves.

Or you stay at his?

The other option is to have him stay at your flat at uni.

Jesus, I could never tell my parents to leave their own house! How rude is that?

Katie, you'll never know if you don't ask, and perhaps it's best you ask than just do it anyway and get found out later. They might not be as bad as you think - I'm sure if you've been together that long they won't think you're just holding hands.

Reply 11

OP

Yea thanks very much :smile:

just need to build up the courage. Thanks guys :smile:

Reply 12

Andy Spark

When I was with my first serious girlfriend, she first slept at mine after a party when it was impractical for her to get home at 2am (she lived a couple of towns away). That was about...a month and a half after we started going out. My parents were a bit "...oook :redface:

" about it, knowing that it was practical and I was just as weirded asking them as I'd never asked it before.

A couple of weeks later, when I stayed at hers (once again, after a party - gotta use the 'practicality' line on parents, dudes), she said on the way there "DON'T tell my mum we shared a bed, your staying on the sofa bed tonight!" I was a bit confused, but her mum is just a little more protective.

I never did get to sleep in her bed overnight :rolleyes:

.

Reply 13

Wonderboy Blue

It's not rude, its practical. No one in my family wants to her or see me having sex and vice versa. Plus my mum is very understanding and knows the score.

She knows when a young guy like me has a girl sleep over, things will happen.

Anyway, katie, why can't you stay at your boyfriend's?

Reply 14

Clarence

What an anti-climax that must have been. No pun intended.

Reply 15

Andy Spark

My girlfriend actually stayed over my house for about a month before we even had sex - obviously we messed around a bit in other ways, but mostly when she stayed it was after parties (until about 4 months in when it was just for the sake of it) and we were too wrecked to do anything but sleep...we were too embarassed of any noise and even then tended to only mess around when no-one was in, even after those four months.

Reply 16

Wonderboy Blue

It's not rude, its practical. No one in my family wants to her or see me having sex and vice versa. Plus my mum is very understanding and knows the score.

She knows when a young guy like me has a girl sleep over, things will happen.

Anyway, katie, why can't you stay at your boyfriend's?

Telling your mum to "get the f out of there" isn't rude?

Unless you're a total weirdo or your house is made of paper, it's entirely possible to have sex without being heard or seen. Where do you expect your family to stay when you've turfed them out?

I don't think my parents believe for a minute that it's all entirely innocent in my room, but I'd never make them leave the house because of it.

Reply 17

Wonderboy Blue

I didn't tell her to get the f out literally. It was figurative.

I said "don't be in this house when I get back woman or thar'll be a beatin'!"

She knows the score.

:tongue:

Reply 18