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Sleeping over with boyfriend

Reply 40

Lucyvet2006

My parents wouldn't allow my boyfriend to sleep over, if he did he'd be sleeping downstairs in the spare room and it would still feel really awkward. Only solution for me was to ask either on the way walking out of the door of my house, or call up from his house whether I could stay over- convince my parents that he had a spare room and I would be sleeping in it!
I also had to make it sound logistically impossible for me to get back home at the end of the night- i.e. we'd be back too late, I had somewhere to go in the morning that was near his house, I couldn't afford a taxi all the way back to mine etc.
Oh- also that his parents were home or his friends were also staying over.
I could never ask my Dad or really my Mum but just had to say 'I'm staying at Phil's' and rely on the fact that we all regard it faaar to awkward to talk about sex.
If you're an honest person and have a good relationship with your parents but they're intolerant of the thought of you sleeping with him though- you're just going to have to wait!

Reply 41

sleepy_person!

Well I'm 18, and my sister is 16, and we have a friend who is also 16, and he's coming over in a few days just for a movie evening and my mum wont even let me go upstairs with him! Despite the fact that 1) he isn't my boyfriend and 2) he's just turned 16! He's in year eleven!!!
My gosh just the thought of any naughty shenanigans going on between the two of us is enough to make me shudder! :eek:

Yet because he is, shock-horror, a boy, my Mother's view will not budge! :rolleyes:

It's kind of funny really, I don't mind because the big TV is downstairs, it's just the principal!

Reply 42

NViasko

Me and a friend that was a girl did some 'stuff' together when my parents were in. It was a risk we took.

Reply 43

*Kates*

After reading these posts, i feel seriously lucky that my mum & my BF's mum n dad are so easy going. I started seeing my BF when i was 17. We had been together a month when he stayed over. I am now 21 and i stay over his every other night and vice versa. My mum & his parents even brought us double beds so we didn't have to share a single bed. They knew we would be sensible and could tell that we were serious about each other so they treated us like adults.

Reply 44

Helenia

20

katie lou

After reading these posts, i feel seriously lucky that my mum & my BF's mum n dad are so easy going. I started seeing my BF when i was 17. We had been together a month when he stayed over. I am now 21 and i stay over his every other night and vice versa. My mum & his parents even brought us double beds so we didn't have to share a single bed. They knew we would be sensible and could tell that we were serious about each other so they treated us like adults.

Ha! There's nowhere near enough room for a double bed in my room. Lucky you. But then, mine are less likely to make the investment for me given that I don't live there any more basically.

Reply 45

*Kates*

Helenia

Ha! There's nowhere near enough room for a double bed in my room. Lucky you. But then, mine are less likely to make the investment for me given that I don't live there any more basically.

Mine isn't really... i have a bed and not much else :rolleyes:

lol.

Reply 46

Lady_Muck

14

It's a bit routine now, but initially I found it INCREDIBLY embarrassing asking if he could stay over for the evening, purely on the basis that they know i'd be having sex. I still get embarrassed at the thought of them knowing I'm having sex 2 years on! Parents are very chillaxed about the whole thing, the only time Mum'd ever say no is if I started bringing home a different guy every weekend, which isn't going to happen anyway.................

Reply 47

Jen2327

1

gee, my parents dont have a problem with it at all, they jst like us to sleep in diff rooms, but when there away they dont mind at all where we sleep?
its weird, how diff parents have different views!

Reply 48

katie_m4

OP

shady lane

It depends on the parents! As a child of immigrants from Nigeria, my parents will never be liberal on that stuff, ever. I do what I want when I'm at uni, but at home, I can barely do anything. Mind you, I'm 22 and just graduated from undergrad!
I'm sure a lot of Asian kids have the same exact issue.
My friends whose parents weren't African or Asian immigrants usually could do way more than I could :frown:

My boyfriend is Nigerian! But his dad is ok with it but his mum isn't really.

Reply 49

hippieglitter

19

katie_m4

I was just wondering how anybody broached the idea to their parents of their boyfriend/girlfriend of sleeping over? I'm 18 but I think they would take it really badly and probably say no, but I dunno whether I should argue about it until they relent because I am 18 and leaving for uni in the next 4 months. Any advice would be great :smile:

They were ok with him sleeping over as long as he slept in the spare room, they were very annoyed when we both accidently fell asleep in my bed.

Reply 50

Anonymous #2

Dimez

I'd wait 'till uni if I were you. No point in breaking family kinship when you're soon to leave the house. Patience is a virtue... :rolleyes:

when my girlfirend used to come over i finally plucked up the courage to ask my rents if she could sleep over, and i knew that they would both know what we were up to.

My mum is a catholic and belives in celibacy so i knew she would probably take it badly but she was actually ok. My dad was the worse, but thats because he said I was setting a bad example to my younger brothers and sisters.

Thankfully I am now 18 and can more or less do what I want, they cant stop me. I think it gets to a point where you just have to bite your tongue and get on with it

Reply 51

Jen2327

1

why do parents assume that if some1s stayin over?
your sleeping together?

Reply 52

strawberry

13

shady lane

Yeah well you're in Japan right? I'm sure if my family had stayed in Nigeria I'd have way more freedom! My cousins over there go clubbing and whatnot freely. But immigrant kids tend to have strict parents, they think American/British culture will corrupt or whatever :frown:

I'm not Japanese. I have a Malaysian passport, but my parents are pretty liberal with me anyway. They step in if I start doing something they don't like.

Reply 53

Helenia

20

Jen2327

why do parents assume that if some1s stayin over?
your sleeping together?

Because usually you are? If you're not, it's fairly easy to tell them you're not.

Reply 54

so_this_is_sam

3

Hmm i think it would be worse that my parents did know if i had a boy staying over...id be paranoid they werent sleeping out of worry they might hear something!!

Reply 55

sangoire

I've only had my boyfriend stay over once, and that was when my parents were away. He slept on a spare mattress in my room but we didn't do anything apart from fooling around. The same night my brother had his girlfriend over, and she slept in my brothers' room which has 2 single beds, while my other brother slept in my parents' room. In the morning, though, I walked into my brothers' room to see the two of them spooning on one bed. I'd never be able to sleep properly like that on a single bed.

Reply 56

PrinsesseAstrid

I remember when I was 16 and snuck my boyfriend (at the time) in through the window. (I live on the first floor, so he had to climb up in this tree and then in through my window...). Oh sweet memories.

But on a more serious note: First think of what your parents might have as far as concrete counter arguments, and try to prepare mature answers that reflect the way you feel. Then ask your parents if you can talk to them, and set aside some time to do it w/out interruptions. Then tell them in a mature way you would like your bf to be able to sleep over, and that you feel it should be ok at your age. Answer whatever concerns they have w/said mature answers, and try to tell them that although you're youg and their little baby and all, you are actually growing up and you feel like you've gotten to a point where you can take responsability for your own actions, and that you hope they feel they can trust you to do so. (Oh and it doesn't hurt if you put your bf's matress on the floor, giving the illusion that you're not gonna sleep in the same bed. They know it's not true, but they want to believe it anyways... :biggrin:

)

Edit: God, i sound like ****ing Doctor Phil...

Sleeping over with boyfriend

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