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Parents
Hello, im a little concerned about my parents. Its a stressful time for both of them, with job difficulties looming over both of them.
Over the weekend my dad was helping my mum up onto some rocks, and accidentally hurt her, it did not look anything major just a minor scratch, if anything it was my fault for not pulling her up as much as my dad was. Anyways, my mum then suddenly shouts out what an evil bastard he is in front of some of our family friends.
From this point onwards, they stopped talking to each other and have not done so for several days now. When i speak to my mum she says he is so selfish and thick skinned that he doesnt care about her anymore. My dad on the other hand is extremely hurt by what she said especially in front of their friends. And as a result both are hoping for an apology off each other, which as far as i can see isnt going to happen on its own.
Both now dont talk to each other, but im especially worried about my dad who is extremely stressed out by his job and really doesnt need this happening at home.
They dont seem to want to sit down and talk things through either, is there anything i can do, or has anyone found themselves in this position before?
They have been married for nearly 24 years and as far as i can rememeber they have never argued like this before.
Over the weekend my dad was helping my mum up onto some rocks, and accidentally hurt her, it did not look anything major just a minor scratch, if anything it was my fault for not pulling her up as much as my dad was. Anyways, my mum then suddenly shouts out what an evil bastard he is in front of some of our family friends.
From this point onwards, they stopped talking to each other and have not done so for several days now. When i speak to my mum she says he is so selfish and thick skinned that he doesnt care about her anymore. My dad on the other hand is extremely hurt by what she said especially in front of their friends. And as a result both are hoping for an apology off each other, which as far as i can see isnt going to happen on its own.
Both now dont talk to each other, but im especially worried about my dad who is extremely stressed out by his job and really doesnt need this happening at home.
They dont seem to want to sit down and talk things through either, is there anything i can do, or has anyone found themselves in this position before?
They have been married for nearly 24 years and as far as i can rememeber they have never argued like this before.
What I would do... although in an until recently fairly harmonious family situation like yours, you might not agree... is just shout at them till they did talk it through. And then if it turned into an argument I'd shout at them some more and tell them to stop being so selfish. If they talked it through and couldn't sort it out then fine, no other option - but to be honest it sounds very much to me like there's been talking going on behind your back, and the rock incident wasn't the beginning.
As you probably can't just lock them somewhere together and let them naturally reach a resolution... Make them talk and talk and talk and talk and argue if need be, but still talking = closure.
people shouldnt have to have parents. we should just pop up from the ground like cabbage patch kids.
There seems to be a deeper problem you might not know about. I can't imagine your mum calling your dad names out of the blue.
It may be to do with them as a couple, but could also be related to jobs and or money.
You could say you find the situation unbearable but I guess the "working it out" bit will have to be done by them. You can't be parent to them, telling them what to do. Your mum should be telling the things she tells you to your father, maybe you could say something along these lines.
It may be to do with them as a couple, but could also be related to jobs and or money.
You could say you find the situation unbearable but I guess the "working it out" bit will have to be done by them. You can't be parent to them, telling them what to do. Your mum should be telling the things she tells you to your father, maybe you could say something along these lines.
O i've tried these things, but the problem is neither WANTS to sort it out, and my dad is under a LOT of pressure at work, he is being almost forced out of his job that he has been in for nearly 14 years by someone who he trained.
He doesnt want to sit down and talk in case she starts shouting more abuse, and told me he probably couldn't cope. I'm more worried because my dad has recently been saying things like he is worth more dead than alive, and using phrases such as 'i couldn't take it'. I know it may sound stupid but he is beginning to sound suicidal, so i think you are right maybe there is more going on than i thought.
I'll try and speak to someone about it tomorrow, when neither of them are around.
He doesnt want to sit down and talk in case she starts shouting more abuse, and told me he probably couldn't cope. I'm more worried because my dad has recently been saying things like he is worth more dead than alive, and using phrases such as 'i couldn't take it'. I know it may sound stupid but he is beginning to sound suicidal, so i think you are right maybe there is more going on than i thought.
I'll try and speak to someone about it tomorrow, when neither of them are around.
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