2 years long distance relationship and now a breakup. Advice needed!

Hey guys, I know this is a long post but would really appreciate if you give me some advice and your views. :frown:

So I have known this guy "A" for 4 and a half years (met him in olevels). We used to live in the same city but went to different school. we became really good friends over a period of time. I trusted him and would talk to him about everything and anything. Two years back, he got admission in a uni in north america. He was free for 4-5 months before moving so we started meeting a lot and would talk on phone all the time. It was easy to fall in love with him since he is a gentleman and I already trusted him a lot. He proposed me a month before moving and said we'll get engaged after 2 years or so.

Thats how our relationship began. Initially it was weird to have a long distance relationship but then we got used to it. We would skype almost everyday and he visited home after 4 months. But things started changing after the first year of being together. In 2013, I got in uni too.

He visited twice more at the end of semester but he would barely come see me. He mostly spent his time with his old friends and I had to literally convince him to meet me. One time we made a plan to meet up and when I got there he texted me that he cant come due to some family issues. I kept calling him and texting him to come see me for half an hour but he never picked. So to sum it up he made an emotional wreck out of me during his visits. But when he would go back to his uni he would be normal and would still give me attention and we skyped a lot.

But everything changed a week back. We were skyping and I casually asked him when will we be getting engaged. I didnt expect a solid answer. He said he doesnt know. I asked him what does he want. Initially he said to spend my life with you. I know I should have stopped at that but then I asked him further if he's sure that he will marry me and if not it would be unfair to me afterwards. He said he would walk away right now because he wasnt sure and it actually would be unfair to me. At that point I realized whats happening so I said I dont care about the future as nobody knows what will happen and I want to work it through but he plainly rejected me saying "he's done with me and done with this relationship" and then went to sleep. I literally begged him for the next three days that I want us to be together. I called him, texted him what not.

On the third day he decided to pick my call. He was all calm as if nothing happened. I told him if its really over to which he said yes. We talked for half an hour and he said he MIGHT come back but not yet maybe after an year or two and that im free to move on and he has a right to be with anyone he wants aswell. I asked him if he likes somebody else and he said he doesnt have time for all this but he cant be sure of the future. He wanted to concentrate on his life and studies and wanted me to do the same. He said he'll be in touch and we could skype after a month when he's done with his finals. I said ok and told him I'll wait for him and I will always be here for him.

He didnt contact me again but I did twice within a week. I said Hey to which he replied but never replied further.
I know the wise thing to do would be to never contact him again but I still want him in my life or maybe I am not taking this rejection seriously. What my mind says is to wait till he initiates any contact but then I know he is never coming back. He kept me hanging before and he still is keeping me hanging by saying he MIGHT come back and we will stay in touch.
I really dont know what to do as I have already initiated the conversation twice with no response.
your views and advice will be appreciated. Ps He has total control over me as I was madly in love with him. I literally did anything he asked me.

Reply 1

gr8wizard10

He has lost interest frankly and that's the reality of the matter so accept the break up and move on. Time will heal.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Thankyou for your views. I want to be with him again. His "might" come back statement is really confusing. I cant possibly move on like this since I still see a future with him :confused:

2 years long distance relationship and now a breakup. Advice needed!

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