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Maths Christmas Jokes!

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Tris2807
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#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
Hi everyone,

Basically, I'm writing a Christmas card for my maths teacher and I need some funny Christmassy jokes (not rude) to put in it. Any ideas?

Thank you!
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user2020user
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#2
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#2
Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

The play on words lies in the similarity of the abbreviation for October/Octal and December/Decimal, and the coincidence that the two representations equal the same amount (31 Octal is 3\cdot8 + 1 = 2\cdot10 + 5 = 25 Decimal).
Here's another one but it isn't related to Christmas:

e^x, sinx and cosx went to a party. A while after they arrived sinx and cosx saw e^x sitting in the corner all on his own so they went over to ask what was wrong. He replied that whenever he tried to integrate he just ended up with himself.
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Hasufel
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#3
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#3
(non-christmassy, sorry) "Captain Ahab didn`t have any difficulty in hunting down Mobius **** -being that he was of infinite surface area!"

(yes, I can hear the groans - the "perfect" Christmas cracker joke!)
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Prepotency
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#4
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#4
What did the mathematician say after eating Christmas dinner? \sqrt{\frac{-1}{64}}

Pronounce the fraction as 'a over b'.
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Eva.Gregoria
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#5
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#5
What does maths have to do with Christmas?

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username664275
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#6
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#6
(Original post by Prepotency)
What did the mathematician say after eating Christmas dinner? \sqrt{\frac{-1}{64}}

Pronounce the fraction as 'a over b'.
Haha brilliant! Never heard that one before
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ghostwalker
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#7
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#7
(Original post by euphrosyne)
You can't mix Maths with Christmas! Maths is yuck whilst Christmas isn't

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Boo! Humbug! :thumbsdown:
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Flauta
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Eva.Gregoria)
What does maths have to do with Christmas?

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They're both really awesome? Duh
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tehforum
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Prepotency)
What did the mathematician say after eating Christmas dinner? \sqrt{\frac{-1}{64}}

Pronounce the fraction as 'a over b'.
Thats a classic.
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Eva.Gregoria
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Flauta)
They're both really awesome? Duh
Of course haha.
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qr95
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#11
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#11
Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68? A: Neither has real roots

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ihatebrownbread
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Prepotency)
What did the mathematician say after eating Christmas dinner? \sqrt{\frac{-1}{64}}

Pronounce the fraction as 'a over b'.
I actually don't get it. Can you explain?

So would you say 'i over 8'. Aaaaaaaahhhhhh ok never mind I get it
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Nitrogen
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#13
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#13
(Original post by ihatebrownbread)
I actually don't get it. Can you explain?
square root of -1 is i. Basically if you read it out itll become 'i over 8' which sounds similar to 'I over ate'
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qr95
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#14
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#14
M is M*

2.718 is the base of natural logarithms known as*e

*r*squared is*rr*the

inverse of 1/y*is*y

the square root of*x*is just*x*

force divided by acceleration is mass

Merry xmass*

I found this.

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tehforum
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#15
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#15
(Original post by euphrosyne)
You can't mix Maths with Christmas! Maths is yuck whilst Christmas isn't

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You would have got negged to death had you said that pre-neg rep removal.
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Flauta
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#16
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#16
12x-7i>3(4x-7u)

Not Christmassy but that shouldn't stop you from putting it in your card
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davros
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#17
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#17
(Original post by euphrosyne)
But Maths is so boring
Oi, there's nowt boring about Maths! You're in the wrong forum here
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davros
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#18
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#18
(Original post by euphrosyne)
I lied, a little :innocent: Maths IS fun, only when you get it though :teehee:

Spoiler:
Show
I'm sorry :love:
You're forgiven (as it is the season of goodwill!)
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Zakee
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#19
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#19
The cocky exponential function ex is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by. He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smiles, thinking to himself, "Damn, it's great to be ex. I'm real analytic everywhere. I'm my own derivative. I blow up faster than anybody and shrink faster too. All the other functions suck."
Lost in his own egomania, he collides with the constant function 3, who is running in terror in the opposite direction.
"What's wrong with you? Why don't you look where you're going?" demands ex. He then sees the fear in 3's eyes and says "You look terrified!"
"I am!" says the panicky 3. "There's a differential operator just around the corner. If he differentiates me, I'll be reduced to nothing! I've got to get away!" With that, 3 continues to dash off.
"Stupid constant," thinks ex. "I've got nothing to fear from a differential operator. He can keep differentiating me as long as he wants, and I'll still be there."
So he scouts off to find the operator and gloat in his smooth glory. He rounds the corner and defiantly introduces himself to the operator. "Hi. I'm ex."
"Hi. I'm d / dy."
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user2020user
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Zakee)
The tale of the cocky exponential function
The cocky exponential function ex is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by. He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smiles, thinking to himself, "Damn, it's great to be ex. I'm real analytic everywhere. I'm my own derivative. I blow up faster than anybody and shrink faster too. All the other functions suck."
Lost in his own egomania, he collides with the constant function 3, who is running in terror in the opposite direction.
"What's wrong with you? Why don't you look where you're going?" demands ex. He then sees the fear in 3's eyes and says "You look terrified!"
"I am!" says the panicky 3. "There's a differential operator just around the corner. If he differentiates me, I'll be reduced to nothing! I've got to get away!" With that, 3 continues to dash off.
"Stupid constant," thinks ex. "I've got nothing to fear from a differential operator. He can keep differentiating me as long as he wants, and I'll still be there."
So he scouts off to find the operator and gloat in his smooth glory. He rounds the corner and defiantly introduces himself to the operator. "Hi. I'm ex."
"Hi. I'm d / dy."
That was great, albeit slightly long!

(Original post by Flauta)
12x-7i>3(4x-7u)

Not Christmassy but that shouldn't stop you from putting it in your card
Smooth! :sexface:
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