I think my boyfriend had sex with me whilst I was asleep.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and we live together, last night we went to a party and I got far too drunk, my boyfriend didn't as he had work the next day. I passed out on the sofa, all I can remember is him trying to give me some food which I couldn't eat then I passed out.

I woke up naked with a bottle of lube next to me and my vagina is really sore. I really do not remember consenting to this and feel really disgusted that he could do this when I was in such a state.

Also I would of not wanted to have sex with him as he has genital wants and possibly chlamydia. We had to wait two weeks for everything to clear up. I don't think he has cheated on me by the way. It's weird because he isn't a very sexual person, we only sleep together once or twice a week, I just don't know what to do about this.

Reply 1

Alpha brah

Sorry to hear that. That's horrible :eek:

Sounds like something happened for sure. Are you sure it was probably your boyfriend? Was there anyone else around at the party who could have done something?

Please get some support regarding this; if you don't feel comfortable speaking to a friend, call a helpline or something (I can post some links if you want).

Reply 2

Gjaykay

11

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and we live together, last night we went to a party and I got far too drunk, my boyfriend didn't as he had work the next day. I passed out on the sofa, all I can remember is him trying to give me some food which I couldn't eat then I passed out.

I woke up naked with a bottle of lube next to me and my vagina is really sore. I really do not remember consenting to this and feel really disgusted that he could do this when I was in such a state.

Also I would of not wanted to have sex with him as he has genital wants and possibly chlamydia. We had to wait two weeks for everything to clear up. I don't think he has cheated on me by the way. It's weird because he isn't a very sexual person, we only sleep together once or twice a week, I just don't know what to do about this.

Talk to him, dump him if he did do it. Get the police if you want, it may be worth pursuing a case if you were raped.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and we live together, last night we went to a party and I got far too drunk, my boyfriend didn't as he had work the next day. I passed out on the sofa, all I can remember is him trying to give me some food which I couldn't eat then I passed out.

I woke up naked with a bottle of lube next to me and my vagina is really sore. I really do not remember consenting to this and feel really disgusted that he could do this when I was in such a state.

Also I would of not wanted to have sex with him as he has genital wants and possibly chlamydia. We had to wait two weeks for everything to clear up. I don't think he has cheated on me by the way. It's weird because he isn't a very sexual person, we only sleep together once or twice a week, I just don't know what to do about this.

This really doesn't sound good. If he has had sex with you when you was asleep then that counts as rape.

I suggest you have words with him and go to a doctor.

This post misused the anon function. Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/guidelines_for_health_and_relationships

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Alpha brah

Sorry to hear that. That's horrible :eek:

Sounds like something happened for sure. Are you sure it was probably your boyfriend? Was there anyone else around at the party who could have done something?

Please get some support regarding this; if you don't feel comfortable speaking to a friend, call a helpline or something (I can post some links if you want).

Definitely my boyfriend, no one else was at our flat, we left the party early because he had work in the morning.

Reply 5

Alpha brah

Original post by Anonymous

Definitely my boyfriend, no one else was at our flat, we left the party early because he had work in the morning.

****... I'm so sorry to hear that OP.

Is there anyone you can go and say with nearby while you decide what you're going to do next?

You can call the national Rape Crisis helpline on 0808 802 9999. The helpline is open every day from 12 - 2.30pm and from 7 - 9.30pm (so you can call right now).

You can also find a centre you can get support from near you here:

http://rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php

Best wishes. Please let us know if there's anything else we can do.

Reply 6

FlavaFavourFruit

That's awful...do you really want to be with him after that?

He could also have infected you too :K:

He didn't care one bit. Men sometimes :rolleyes:

Reply 7

Al-Mudaari

Ask him about it.

ps. topic reminded me of this.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 8

Kool_blaze

He raped you. Go to police

Reply 9

User1214833

16

This story doesn't add up. I'm confused about the sexual diseases part - how did he get them if he hasn't cheated?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

Alpha brah

Original post by marple

What sort of response is this when it sounds as if he raped an unconscious woman?

Well said.

TSR really needs to up its modding TBH, too many guys who have issues with women here making the most disgusting comments on rape threads.

Reply 11

Genocidal

19

Maybe you did consent but you didn't remember it?

Reply 12

Malevolent

19

Sounds like rape to me. Confront him about it thats the best thing to do.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by qwertyking

This story doesn't add up. I'm confused about the sexual diseases part - how did he get them if he hasn't cheated?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Genital warts can remain dormant for years, the nurse told me 80% of people carry the virus, they just might not get them. He may not have chlamydia, they gave us the antibiotics as a precaution, he has some infection that makes it a bit sore when he goes for a wee which could either be chlamydia or can be related to the genital warts. When he gets the results, if he has chlamydia he may of cheated. So I most probably have genital warts virus anyway but I didnt want to sleep with him until I know everything is ok.

I feel a bit sick about things but I really don't feel like 've been raped. just confused

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Genocidal

Maybe you did consent but you didn't remember it?

Yes I was thinking that, but I don't know why he still did it if I was that drunk I couldn't eat and just wanted to sleep. And I really didn't want to sleep with him because of the diseases, but maybe if I was that drunk I would of, I still wasn't in the right state though.

Reply 15

Alpha brah

Your being that drunk negates consent btw.

Please, please, call that helpline OP - as you're probably seen by a lot of the responses on this thread already, you're going to get a lot of misguided crap masquerading as "advice" here.

Reply 16

Maid Marian

20

That's rape. It's your choice what you want to do next. You could go to the police, and there's probably a clinic somewhere that you could get tested to see if you were infected ...
You could ALSO call a helpline like Alpha Brah suggested.
And you should probably confront your boyfriend and see what he has to say about it.

Reply 17

Huskaris

16

Original post by marple

What sort of response is this when it sounds as if he raped an unconscious woman?

Missed the "wouldn't want to" bit.

Should either go to the police or leave him, but make sure that it definitely wasn't something she consented to whilst drunk first, because that ruins peoples lives.

Reply 18

chazwomaq

18

Original post by Alpha brah

Your being that drunk negates consent btw.

Please, please, call that helpline OP - as you're probably seen by a lot of the responses on this thread already, you're going to get a lot of misguided crap masquerading as "advice" here.

This is a grey area: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6497889.stm

But Alpha brah's advice is good - there are professionals who can help you (while we probably cannot).

A sly approach might be talk ask your boyfriend about last night but not in an angry or confrontational way "do you remember what we did last night..." to see if he admits to your having sex. Then you can gauge his response, explain that you were too drunk to consent and see what he says.

Reply 19

Alpha brah

I actually think confronting your boyfriend is a bad idea. You're clearly in a bad state which is totally understandable, but he could easily lie and make something up. You're best off getting advice from a helpline, considering going to the police, and seeking support from very trusted friends and family.

I think my boyfriend had sex with me whilst I was asleep.

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