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    • #6
    #6

    I personally do not think that males can view these things in the same way that females can, imagine telling a guy that after having sex with a girl he would have a child grow inside of him that he would have to carry for 9 months then have to give birth to and spend the rest of his life looking after, all without his consent and while he was doing his best to prevent the pregnancy with contraceptives...I'm sure a lot of men would then consider abortion but it's ok for them, they don't have these decisions, they can literally have sex and walk away from it without any consequences.

    I do not believe that anyone goes into abortion lightly, it's not exactly a great day out and any woman would try to avoid one at all costs but sadly NO contraception is 100% protective against pregnancy and it is ridiculous to assume that a loving couple should not have sex until they want a baby, heck even some married couples aren't really for a baby but it doesn't mean they shouldn't have sex.

    OP: I hope that your friend makes the right decision for herself
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What about adoption? I am personally opposed to abortion; after experiencing a miscarriage i have become slightly obsessive about such topics and so will not begin ranting else i will not stop! But even if a child is unwanted, I would consider adoption a more humane option. Not tryin to offend people/argue with people just wandered what people's thoughts are on this.
    Adoption still requires 9 months of carrying a child that you do not want and then having to give birth to it. It is barbaric that someone should be forced to carry a child they do not want and then go through hours of painful labour. Plus there are hundreds of children already born waiting for a family to adopt them
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Adoption still requires 9 months of carrying a child that you do not want and then having to give birth to it. It is barbaric that someone should be forced to carry a child they do not want and then go through hours of painful labour. Plus there are hundreds of children already born waiting for a family to adopt them
    What the hell do you mean by barbaric that someone should be forced to carry a child they do not want? I say though. You get pregnant. Deal with it! Don't just take it out on an innocent baby. Imagine if your parents tolled you a story like they didn’t want you, they wanted to abort you premature, they didn’t want to hear your say, they didn’t care about your soul! Just because you “do not want’ to carry the baby for 9months! Though! Though!
    • #5
    #5

    But do you not think it barbaric to end a life? Also, there are not necessarily hundreds of children born and waiting to be adopted - babies for adoption are often in high demand with more prospective adoptive families than babies available. Im sorry if that sounds a too callous and market-place like description but i am not good with words!
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    Why was the diagram taken off?
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    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    Why was the diagram taken off?
    Because it included a photo that could offend or upset some people.
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    (Original post by Talya)
    Because it included a photo that could offend or upset some people.
    Didn't realise this was a posting rule.
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    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    Didn't realise this was a posting rule.
    A post with a picture, with no warning, of a dead foetus. I think constitutes something which is at least 'somewhat' offensive.
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    O-kay, in response to the OP.
    It depends how far along your friend is. As someone said earlier, there's a pill/pessary (like an emema but, um, not) for the really early stages, sounds pretty undignified and embarassing and in some cases the patient is kept in overnight.
    Then there's the surgical suction thing, where she has two options- local or general anaesthetic. With the first one, she'll have an injection to numb the area and then the cervix is stretched and the contents of the womb suctioned out. With the general, she'd be out for the whole of it and wake up on a portable bed and be told not to move until she feels ready. Then she'll be taken to a chair and experience something like the worst stomach cramps but she should get paracetamol.
    Before all that, when she books her appointment, she'll first be seen by a doctor who'll go over the reasons, symptoms, allergies, weigh her and go over the risks. There have been cases of part/all of the aborted foetus/embryo being left inside, or a woman haveing a womb in two parts and the wrong bit being suctioned, but that's pretty rare. Basically, it's a legal thing. Damn, forgot to mention that the patient isn't allowed to eat or drink for 24 hours (I think, you could have to check as it may be 48hours) before the operation.
    Then she'll have to wait around for a little while, then get an ultrasound scan to check how far along she is.
    If there aren't any problems, she'll be fitted out with a sort of belt around her waist, under her gown- this is to attatch the sanitary towel to because she'll be bleeding afterwards.
    There's another way for pregnancies really near the limit where the doctor actually has to go in and cut, and they're a lot more risky and disturbing but also fairly rare.

    Then two weeks afterwards, she'll be advised to go to her doctor for a check up, and to have avoided sex for that fortnight at least.

    Afterwards affects different women in different ways. Some need to take a lot of time off work and some feel ready to go back right away, but the odds are that the hormones are going to catch up with your friend and she may need a lot of support if she's in tears the whole time.
    She won't need anyone else to judge her because they can't be any harsher on her than she'll be on herself. She may need to talk about it, she may just want to deal with it by herself.
    I'm really sorry she has to go through this, but she's lucky to have a friend who cares about her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What about adoption? I am personally opposed to abortion; after experiencing a miscarriage i have become slightly obsessive about such topics and so will not begin ranting else i will not stop! But even if a child is unwanted, I would consider adoption a more humane option. Not tryin to offend people/argue with people just wandered what people's thoughts are on this.
    There are already far too many children are sat waiting for someone to adopt them. If you are young and accidentally get pregnant and are not ready for a baby, then as awful as abortion is it may be your preferred choice - pregnancy can have unpleasant affects on a woman's body (including the many pains and discomforts during pregnancy and labour!) and at a young age she may feel especially self conscious about this. Also, your first baby is something very special and perhaps is meant for when you find someone you love and it is planned, or you are married, or something of the sort. I just think it would be such a shame to have your first baby and send it packing, so to speak. I don't think abandonment of a baby by its birth parents is necessarily such a fantastic solution as opposed to abortion :confused:
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    (Original post by 789654123)
    I’m sorry you had to go through abortion and you know how terrible it is but I’m sure you made a clear decision whether to have abortion or not.

    My friend who is only 16 was thinking about abortion when she had unprotected sex and got pregnant. In the end (fortunately for the baby) she didn't have the abortion. Her partner is 19 years old apparently and they (the parents, her, and her partner) have agreed to look after the baby. It was a very hard decision for her to make, she missed out on her GCSE's, she had to leave school because people would find out she was pregnant. Infact people did find out she was pregnant but she stayed strong. All my congratulations go to the girl. The baby’s name is Cam (he is 2 months old now). He lives a beautiful life, breathing, excreting, eating, and crying like any other baby. Now the mother can reply to her son, that she could have ended his beutiful life but she didn't in respect to the baby she really cared even though it was a very hard decision but doing the opisite (killing it) would of been equally as harsh.

    789654123
    yes she can tell him that he was totally unwanted but she felt that abortion would have been murder so she gave up the best years of her life to look after him when she could have been off at uni. insted of leading a normal teenage life, getting qualifications, having fun etc she is stuck at home with some screaming, pooing, drooling thing that cant even hold a conversation with her.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What the hell do you mean by barbaric that someone should be forced to carry a child they do not want? I say though. You get pregnant. Deal with it! Don't just take it out on an innocent baby. Imagine if your parents tolled you a story like they didn’t want you, they wanted to abort you premature, they didn’t want to hear your say, they didn’t care about your soul! Just because you “do not want’ to carry the baby for 9months! Though! Though!
    Wow, you really like the word "though" don't you? Also, it's 'told' not 'tolled' :rolleyes:

    Yes I do believe it is barbaric to force a woman to carry a child in her body, causing her pain (emotionally, psychologically and physically), and then forcing her to go through possibly 24 hours of excruciating pain forcing a baby through her vagina when she doesn't want to and never gave her consent to, would you like to be forced to go through that? I doubt it :rolleyes:

    Also, just because someone 'gets pregnant' (which, may I add does take two people) doesn't mean they are guilty of anything, anyone having sex runs the risk no matter how many precautions they take so I think people should stop the "it wouldn't happen to me" attitude because you never know what's around the corner.

    I would rather a woman who cannot cope, has no money, the father has ****ed off and has no family support abort a baby than give birth to it because she's been forced to by the likes of you only for that baby to be born into a life of poverty, misery and possible neglect/resentment from it's mother. Just because a baby is born doesn't mean it will be born happy, healthy and loved.

    Also, what about if a woman gets pregnant through rape? Although I suppose people like you would say "But it's not the mothers fault!" and allow abortion and then scream that "All life is precious!" when a girl gets pregnant by accident. The baby conceived via rape is innocent yet it's ok to abort a 'rape baby' but you need to punish the woman who has consented sex :rolleyes:
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    A lot of these people say that abortion shouldn't be allowed even then, as "it's not the foetus' fault".
    Wasn't the OP asking about how to support her friend and asking for info instead of a re-hash of the old battle?

    Did that anon mean to type "Tough" instead of "though", perhaps?
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    FOURTH BLOODY ATTEMPT!
    Anon above, the thrid and fourth paragraphs are very interesting points.
    There, will this thing work now?
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    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    That doesn't merit an abortion according to the law.
    yes, it does.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But for an abortion it is a little different. It is not just a bone being reset, or a malignant lump being cut out. It is the termination of life and it affects more people than just the mother. It is a far more emotive issue and one that provokes fundamental moral questions. Therefore, an explicit knowledge of the procedure is essential. I just wish we could trust doctors to provide that.
    1) well its the termination of potential life. until a baby hits 24+ weeks, it is incapable of surviving outside the womb, just as a cancer removed will die.
    2) it affects the mother, her family, the father and his family. it doesn't affect you. keep your nose out.
    3)doctors are a damned site more truthful than people like yourself and any of the strong por-lifers or choicers. the gp might not give alot of info, but its a legal requirement that there be whole councelling sessions before an abortion. I've sat in on them. have you?
    didn't think so.
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    (Original post by clyn)
    O-kay, in response to the OP.
    It depends how far along your friend is. As someone said earlier, there's a pill/pessary (like an emema but, um, not) for the really early stages, sounds pretty undignified and embarassing and in some cases the patient is kept in overnight.
    nearly never kept in over night. its very dignified. a pessary can be put in by the woman herself, and the 'abortion' is like a heavy period. the main side effects are nausea and stomach cramps.

    Then there's the surgical suction thing, where she has two options- local or general anaesthetic. With the first one, she'll have an injection to numb the area and then the cervix is stretched and the contents of the womb suctioned out. With the general, she'd be out for the whole of it and wake up on a portable bed and be told not to move until she feels ready. Then she'll be taken to a chair and experience something like the worst stomach cramps but she should get paracetamol.
    Before all that, when she books her appointment, she'll first be seen by a doctor who'll go over the reasons, symptoms, allergies, weigh her and go over the risks. There have been cases of part/all of the aborted foetus/embryo being left inside, or a woman haveing a womb in two parts and the wrong bit being suctioned, but that's pretty rare. Basically, it's a legal thing. Damn, forgot to mention that the patient isn't allowed to eat or drink for 24 hours (I think, you could have to check as it may be 48hours) before the operation.
    theres two forms of surgery before 14 weeks. theres no point discussing them though. they can have local or general, true. but with general you aren't allowed to eat for 6 hours before the surgery, and drink for 2 hours. not 24 (and CERTAINLY not 48!).
    infection and excessive bleeding are the two worries, but these are, again, rare these days.

    Then she'll have to wait around for a little while, then get an ultrasound scan to check how far along she is.
    If there aren't any problems, she'll be fitted out with a sort of belt around her waist, under her gown- this is to attatch the sanitary towel to because she'll be bleeding afterwards.
    There's another way for pregnancies really near the limit where the doctor actually has to go in and cut, and they're a lot more risky and disturbing but also fairly rare.

    Then two weeks afterwards, she'll be advised to go to her doctor for a check up, and to have avoided sex for that fortnight at least.

    Afterwards affects different women in different ways. Some need to take a lot of time off work and some feel ready to go back right away, but the odds are that the hormones are going to catch up with your friend and she may need a lot of support if she's in tears the whole time.
    She won't need anyone else to judge her because they can't be any harsher on her than she'll be on herself. She may need to talk about it, she may just want to deal with it by herself.
    I'm really sorry she has to go through this, but she's lucky to have a friend who cares about her.
    towards the 'limit' as it were abortions tend to be actual deliveries rather than surgeries. these are most distressing because you actually give birth, but of course the baby can't survive. these make up less than 5% of all abortions though.
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    (Original post by gemini_love)
    please, let's not get into whether it's murder or not...we could be here forever
    as have several threads done before it lol

    and 789654123 and everyone else who is starting up the whole "its right its wrong" this is not the place for it as thats not what the thread is about. (go pro choice lol)

    and well said clyn. We dont need it a rehash.

    To the OP just be there for her as much as you can. Its the best thing you can do, pull up some info on abortion from MEDICAL websites. Alos Robot chicken made some good points
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    (Original post by Robot Chicken)
    yes, it does.
    On what grounds exactly?
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    (Original post by NDGAARONDI)
    On what grounds exactly?
    i don't have my notes to hand to reel it off, but the basic proviso is that pregnancy can result in physical or psychiatric harm to the mother, especially unwanted pregnancies. as such they use one of the 'continued pregnancy may result in harm to mother' clauses.

    its all a bit silly. the government/law makers didn't want to explicitly say 'can have abortion if you don't want kids' but they did deliberately write the law in such a way that you can get away with very loose interpretations.
 
 
 
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