How to get in a relationship with a closet gay? (I need your help please!)

So basically, there's this guy whom I have been crushing on deeply for months. I'm 21, he's 19. Now I'm bi, and only 2 close friends know that (we live in a society where homosexuality is looked down upon and really dont wanna go into details bout that).

Anyway, so I'm having mixed signals from this guy. My best friend, who's a girl, seriously thinks he's gay, as she claims to have this gaydar which is very accurate, and she was actually right on so many occasions, as she has many gay friends and so many times predicted which guys were gay. Call me a pessimist,but I dont really buy into this whole gaydar thing.

Anyway, so I finally got to spend time with him 3 weeks ago, like we sat down for 3 hours and just talked about life and future and studies. We have lots in common and he turned out to be than what I imagined!

There are some things which he does that kinda give away he's gay or at least bi; like for example, i catch him staring at guys and stuff, and once me and him were in the car in the backseat and his legs were like touching my hands (his right legs were overlapping my hands and he had so much space yet didnt remove them (for 1 whole hour!) and my best friend, she was sitting front and told me she saw him looking at me and then she gave him a look and looked in my direction and he blushed and looked away...I dunno..it all sounds too good to be true

in uni, every time i see him, he smiles at me really sweetly (like smiling the WHOLE time) and asks me how my courses are and stuff (like he really wants to know about my life, like gives this impression he's interested to know more about me).

Oh and I told him once that my best friend thinks everyone is bisexual to a certain extent, and he got really defensive and said not me, i can never get turned on by dic*s, and he told me how he had a gf for ONE day and she told everyone he was gay and he got so angry at her and told me that he wouldnt care so much for ppl to believe that, but because his parents live so close to his uni, it can get serious (like he's terrified if his parents found out). and he also asked me if I knew this openly gay guy in uni...

so i dunno, maybe those are all little hints? He seems far more in the closet than I am, but I wanna open up to him, tell him im bi or something. but what if i was wrong and he really is straight? there's a huge chance he might not want to be friends anymore, and i really dont want that I just want him to open up and tell me, but he seems so scared. Please Help me TSR?

He might or might not be gay, best bet is to open up to him and explain you haven't told many people and see how it goes from there... He might not be like 'Omg I'm gay/bi as well!" straight after but it might make me him comfortable

why don't you be honest about being bi, it's up to him what he tells you though. if he says he's straight, then you should believe he's straight until he says otherwise

I was thinking that rather than telling him directly, I'll just invite him out to a movie and casually let my hand touch or brush against his, and I'd see his reaction... subtle moves are better than being direct...right?

I was thinking that rather than telling him directly, I'll just invite him out to a movie and casually let my hand touch or brush against his, and I'd see his reaction... subtle moves are better than being direct...right?

That might scare him because it will definitely scare me and he might think why is he doing this? and he might distance himself from you but telling him is straight to the point so neither of you waste time

hm, that might scare him off though , if you say you're bi this doesn't directly tell him you like him so he might feel more at ease/less pressured to do anything about it immediately

Yeah, it's quite difficult for you. Is there any way you can talk about guys who like guys in casual conversation? Perhaps you say that a friend of yours is having some difficulty deciding about stuff, and like it's hard for you where you live and so on: would be hard for anyone.

But yeah, it's a tough one. Of course, you don't know that he likes men, so it's all a bit of guess work. I think some subtle body language can do some of the work, but I wouldn't rely too much on that. Don't burden it too much with a responsibility that only talking can shoulder.

But sometimes these things require time. Don't lose touch with him. Make sure he knows that you care about him whatever. This way he can feel he has the space to take things further if he wants to.

I'm afraid not. And I won't lose touch with him, on the contrary, I talk to him from time to time, message him and stuff. But it seems like I always do the effort, and it got me thinking that if he was interested in me, he would talk to me instead of me always initiating the conversation. But then i heard from his friends that he's that type, wont talk to people unless they do first, and he always keeps to himself. And tbh, I kinda gave him the impression that I'm fully straight (even though I didnt mean it!), and maybe that's why he's not doing anything?

I dunno what to do honestly..I'm definitely not giving up on him, but it's torture! been going on for a couple of months now Sometimes, I think f*** the consequences, and just want to go up to him and confess my love for him, but that's gonna freak him out BIG time. I just want him to do something about it, but it won't happen since he's so far in the closet (assuming he really is gay). So yeah, I think my best bet would be the subtle "touches" in the cinema, and I just hope that he would reciprocate and do something back.

Yeah. You can also try and look out a film which, while not being exclusively gay, at least contains a gay relationship in it. That way you can talk to him about the relationship depicted and try and understand what his general views are. It's an indirect way of finding out something. Or else buy a DVD and invite him over for an evening to watch it.

When you say your 'society', which one is this? Are you British, American, European, some other country etc.?