Broken Friendship :(

This might be a bit of a long story so i apologise in advance.

Bascially a good friend of mine and i had always had an on off sort of relationship but not a proper one - main reason was i didn't want to ruin our friendship... now we've been friends for about 7 years now. I never seem to see him much when he knows i have a bf and well i've been with my current bf for over a year now and we're finally moving in together. I told my friend this and he doesn't seem to even want to know me, i've tried calling him but he doesn't pick up and doesn't text back either.

It's such a shame really we used to write letters and buy each other presents and stuff, and as much as i know with time some friendships drift apart i always thought this would be one that would stick. I keep thinking maybe he's got a gf and so feels a bit shifty to talk to me or he just doesn't want to know me anymore.

I really want to see him before i move away because i know it would probably be the last time i'd see him for quite a while.

It feels to me that possibly my idea of us not ever getting together and trying to protect our friendship destroyed it... especially now he must know for sure that i intend to be with my bf for the rest of my life - and i do! The only thing i'd ever want with my friend is a purely platonic relationship, which to me is very important.

I don't know what to do or how to feel - should i be sad or angry?

Barghh sorry for the rant i hope you guys have some decent ideas :frown:

Reply 1

mortderire

i swear u posted one where you had like 2 kids or something? and a husband?

Reply 2

Yuki Kashima

Lol i do have 2 kids and no husband - i have a bf who isn't the biological father of my children.

Reply 3

Ting-Ting

I always find casual relationships a bit risky....maybe your friend actually has fallen for you and now that you're moving in with your current bf, hes jealous or feel used or betrayed?

I ruined a friendship with along the same lines too and i felt really angry, angry at myself for ruining the friendship. I know that we can't ever be friends again and it really hurts me coz the friendship we had was so strong and suddenly it was shattered.

I don't know what you should do but if you still cant get a hold of your friend, then i guess you'll just have to try to forget about it. But don't let the bitterness ruin your relationship with your bf coz from your post, it sounds like you love him alot and so don't let this...guilt(?) bog you down

Gah, dunno whether my words made sense or not!

Reply 4

Yuki Kashima

Yeah the thing is with my friend it had always been an on off thing over about 5 years and i mean it wasn't a casual thing either something would happen and then we'd both step back... we did discuss things at one point but i thought friendship was best. I mean the last time something like that happened was a few years ago but the way he acts and the way he looks at me i can tell that to him i'm something more, however for me that just drifted away with time.

My bf now means the world to me and i think that might be what's upset or pissed off my friend who knows.
The last time i tried to call was a few weeks ago, i'll try again next week and then i guess i should call it quits.

Just seems a shame really - 7 year friendship gone just like that.

Reply 5

Ting-Ting

Yeah i'd say that your friend really likes you and he probably feels like you've replaced him with your bf as your new best friend..meh! who knows eh?

Yeah 7 yrs of friendship is really hard to just throw away like that and would probably haunt you a bit too! But if he doesn't want to be reached, then maybe you should just stop and continue with your own life.

Good luck on trying to reach him :smile: