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Original post by Anonymous
I pay for everything else myself - clothes etc. apart from literally the basics like food. I don't go on school trips, they don't take me on holiday, so it's not like I'm being gifted throughout the year either.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
personally, i agree it's a bit mean to go on hols without you, and without more facts and figures it's hard to give a meaningful comment. do they drink/smoke a lot? or save hard all year for one holiday? what are their mortgage/rent outgoings? but your initial post sounded pretty petulant.
its not about what you have now..its impossible to appreciate iPhones and nice tvs when they're all paid for by someone else. By getting them when you are older you will appreciate them a lot more than your friends do because you have done better for yourself off your own back.
Also nobody cares about who has the best phone if you're a male so I assume you're a female, this I know from experience. I would focus on more important things like school work because it really isn't a big deal.
Also, from experience of some of my friends who didnt have a lot of money (like me also), it's really sad to see their parents spending loads of money on their kids on stuff they don't really even need.
Also nobody cares about who has the best phone if you're a male so I assume you're a female, this I know from experience. I would focus on more important things like school work because it really isn't a big deal.
Also, from experience of some of my friends who didnt have a lot of money (like me also), it's really sad to see their parents spending loads of money on their kids on stuff they don't really even need.
When I was a child, I was completely spoiled at Christmas. My Dad earned £50,000 a year, and my Mum earned £24,000 a year.
A few years back, my Dad lost his job, and we went from surviving on £74,000 a year plus company privileges to having just one wage to pay everything. As you can imagine, people adapt to live within their means, so our outgoings were high, and having to cut back was a shock.
That first Christmas was different. We didn't get showered with gifts (still got some, of course) and you know what? It was BETTER.
The gifts that we got were thought out ones that meant something to us, rather than what I would describe as the "expensive tat" that we exchanged before. When we were children, we got more toys than we had time to play with.. and what's the point? Kids don't care! They don't grow up thinking "I wish I had more toys for Christmas" they think "I wish Mummy and Daddy had played with us instead of working."
What I'm trying to say is that material possessions mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. If you want them, get a job and pay for them, but your parents can't magic up money that they don't have, and it REALLY doesn't matter.
I've been on both sides of the divide and, while of course I'm grateful that I was able to enjoy the comfortable childhood I did (we were never particularly extravagant, we spent our money on silly things like high brand food, TV packages and other subscriptions that to be honest we didn't miss), life certainly isn't any worse now I'm on the other side.
When I have children, I hope that I will be able to give them the spirit of Christmas without having to include spending thousands on presents. This is the first Christmas that I've been able to buy things as I have a proper job, and I've gone overboard, and it's stupid. I've spent close to £1,000 on my Mum, Dad, Brother, Grandparents, best friend and partner (in total, not each). There's just no need for it, but I think it's only because I had the money to spend this year - whereas next year, when I have proper responsibilities, I definitely won't, and wouldn't want to even if I could!
A few years back, my Dad lost his job, and we went from surviving on £74,000 a year plus company privileges to having just one wage to pay everything. As you can imagine, people adapt to live within their means, so our outgoings were high, and having to cut back was a shock.
That first Christmas was different. We didn't get showered with gifts (still got some, of course) and you know what? It was BETTER.
The gifts that we got were thought out ones that meant something to us, rather than what I would describe as the "expensive tat" that we exchanged before. When we were children, we got more toys than we had time to play with.. and what's the point? Kids don't care! They don't grow up thinking "I wish I had more toys for Christmas" they think "I wish Mummy and Daddy had played with us instead of working."
What I'm trying to say is that material possessions mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. If you want them, get a job and pay for them, but your parents can't magic up money that they don't have, and it REALLY doesn't matter.
I've been on both sides of the divide and, while of course I'm grateful that I was able to enjoy the comfortable childhood I did (we were never particularly extravagant, we spent our money on silly things like high brand food, TV packages and other subscriptions that to be honest we didn't miss), life certainly isn't any worse now I'm on the other side.
When I have children, I hope that I will be able to give them the spirit of Christmas without having to include spending thousands on presents. This is the first Christmas that I've been able to buy things as I have a proper job, and I've gone overboard, and it's stupid. I've spent close to £1,000 on my Mum, Dad, Brother, Grandparents, best friend and partner (in total, not each). There's just no need for it, but I think it's only because I had the money to spend this year - whereas next year, when I have proper responsibilities, I definitely won't, and wouldn't want to even if I could!
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I pay for everything else myself - clothes etc. apart from literally the basics like food. I don't go on school trips, they don't take me on holiday, so it's not like I'm being gifted throughout the year either.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
Don't worry I can see where you are coming from. Did you mean your parent earn around 19k each? Or is that their joint income?
My mum was a single parent, with a mortgage to pay for but I never missed out on anything and I have 3 sisters too.
If your parent's can afford to go on holiday every year and never take you or buy you anything throughout the year, then tbh I would be a little bit annoyed too!
Although you never truely know what stresses your parents have so maybe they need the holiday to help their relationship or something I dunoo
Original post by Anonymous
I pay for everything else myself - clothes etc. apart from literally the basics like food. I don't go on school trips, they don't take me on holiday, so it's not like I'm being gifted throughout the year either.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
Like I said in the original post, I understand that others get less than me, I know it could be worse and I'm grateful for what I do get - I'm not saying it's right to have all of the things that my friends do, just that they do have that.
Simply, considering they can afford to take themselves to Egypt or Cuba for 2 weeks, do you think they could be a little more generous? That's all I was asking! Just wanted a few opinions.
They take care of two children for how many weeks in the year? Guess it is not that outrageous if they spend 2 on holiday. And if you feel sorry about that, why don't you talk with them and ask to go all together? Going to another country will, in case, enrich you way more than any iPhone or iPad. And if you feel you need a laptop, why don't you work on summer holidays? Trust me, earning a laptop will double your satisfaction.
Original post by Anonymous
I used to hear the 'You can't have everything line' all the time. In fact, I heard it about everything. I've never had music lessons or done any sport. I'm not allowed to buy things from Topshop, most of my clothes don't fit properly and they were bought in the sales. I've also been having to either pay for it, or cut my own hair, myself since 11. I know we're not on a lot of money and we have a mortgage, but the fact is we're not in poverty as Mum and Dad go on holiday every year - they don't take me and my brother as obviously its cheaper that way and they don't have to wait until the school holidays. They've been to Cuba, Jamaica, etc.
Have you tried talking to them about this? Would it be easier if you wrote it down instead as I can see your point and don't think you're being unreasonable. I used to feel pretty much the same way with regards to clothes until quite recently. My parents didn't buy us new clothes and it was only one item at a time at odd moments of the year. The only thing that changed was that I stared working part time and it feels good to have my own money and spend it the way I want to.
Original post by glitterpink
Don't worry I can see where you are coming from. Did you mean your parent earn around 19k each? Or is that their joint income?
My mum was a single parent, with a mortgage to pay for but I never missed out on anything and I have 3 sisters too.
If your parent's can afford to go on holiday every year and never take you or buy you anything throughout the year, then tbh I would be a little bit annoyed too!
Although you never truely know what stresses your parents have so maybe they need the holiday to help their relationship or something I dunoo
My mum was a single parent, with a mortgage to pay for but I never missed out on anything and I have 3 sisters too.
If your parent's can afford to go on holiday every year and never take you or buy you anything throughout the year, then tbh I would be a little bit annoyed too!
Although you never truely know what stresses your parents have so maybe they need the holiday to help their relationship or something I dunoo
One is on £19K, the other £17K, so ~£36K joint income.
Personally, I think it's more a societal issue. Children today are growing up so influenced by media and their peers that they're developing an utterly ridiculous materialistic lifestyle for their age. Kids shouldn't be getting laptops until they're much older and as for their own TVs, not until they get their own house/flat. Nice phones at a young age are acceptable given their usefulness, but all this other crap that they don't need is just unnecessary expense to appease their wishes. Kids should be going out and playing sport or learning to play instruments rather than beig all cooped up inside rotting their brain cells killing zombies or kicking virtual footballs etc. it's advertising and the media that are creating these ridiculous ways of thinking. It's only going to continue/get worse, so it's up to parents, teachers and ultimately ourselves to resist.
/rant
/rant
Original post by danscott5696
its not about what you have now..its impossible to appreciate iPhones and nice tvs when they're all paid for by someone else. By getting them when you are older you will appreciate them a lot more than your friends do because you have done better for yourself off your own back.
Also nobody cares about who has the best phone if you're a male so I assume you're a female, this I know from experience. I would focus on more important things like school work because it really isn't a big deal.
Also, from experience of some of my friends who didnt have a lot of money (like me also), it's really sad to see their parents spending loads of money on their kids on stuff they don't really even need.
Also nobody cares about who has the best phone if you're a male so I assume you're a female, this I know from experience. I would focus on more important things like school work because it really isn't a big deal.
Also, from experience of some of my friends who didnt have a lot of money (like me also), it's really sad to see their parents spending loads of money on their kids on stuff they don't really even need.
I agree, I bought myself an iPod nano a couple of years ago and, admittedly it's not the best piece of tech, but I love it anyway - probably more so than if it had just been handed to me on a plate.
The thing I find frustrating, however, is when conversations go like this:
"What did you get for your birthday?"
"Money"
"How much?"
"£75 from Mum and Dad"
"No you didn't!" or "Is that it?"
Everyone's family is different - maybe your family places less importance on birthdays? Maybe they think they give you plenty, or do they often take you on days out or give you more than expected for other holidays or events? Do they pay for other things (school, travel, other requirements) that might mean you don't receive as much as you think you should?
I think my parents earn a just-below-average income. I noticed lots of kids at school got large amounts of cash and gifts for getting good grades or a good school report, which I thought was a bit bizarre! My dad and grandmother pay for my car insurance in January each year between them so I can continue to use my car to travel to uni and do errands for my family, so I don't ever expect anything extra for Christmas. We don't really do gifts for birthdays and go out for dinner together instead - some families do days out or give gifts or money instead.
I think my parents earn a just-below-average income. I noticed lots of kids at school got large amounts of cash and gifts for getting good grades or a good school report, which I thought was a bit bizarre! My dad and grandmother pay for my car insurance in January each year between them so I can continue to use my car to travel to uni and do errands for my family, so I don't ever expect anything extra for Christmas. We don't really do gifts for birthdays and go out for dinner together instead - some families do days out or give gifts or money instead.
i think you need to appreciate what they give you. I am sure they would love to be able to give you more than what they do, but sounds to me they give you the best that they can.
I get nothing on Diwali/ bdays. I pay rent to live at home which is really unfair, I've been begging to move but parents never listen ever. I'm 23. Most in my area are criminals, dealers but I've always been made to live here. Our house is huge for us, me and my parents and cat, I've an ensuite which is 1 of 3 bathrooms. My sister has moved out. We have 4 to what can be 5 bedrooms in a ghetto! I can never go out as my area is that unsafe 
. It is full of chavs and it makes me feel depressed everyday to even get out of the house in my area, it is mentally exhausting for me always as I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Worst part is I'm working class as can be but speak English properly and try be a nerd, everyone thus thinks I'm posh and filthy rich compared to them in my town
. It is full of chavs and it makes me feel depressed everyday to even get out of the house in my area, it is mentally exhausting for me always as I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. Worst part is I'm working class as can be but speak English properly and try be a nerd, everyone thus thinks I'm posh and filthy rich compared to them in my townOriginal post by Anonymous
One is on £19K, the other £17K, so ~£36K joint income.
Where do you live? This is really low to live on in London. I'm only starting my first proper graduate role now. To date £18k is max I've been on and I've struggled badly not coping
I'll be on £12 an hour tomorrow onwards which is still low for a grad, going to study soon more
I think you're expecting an awful lot.
If your parents haven't got a great deal of money then £75 is fairly decent. How many siblings do you have? I've got 4 kids, there's no way I'd be buying each of them presents worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds.
When I was younger I never got much for birthdays and Christmas. I remember one birthday my mam bought a huge chest, and all year she went to charity shops and bought me tons and tons of second hand books. Each book was only about 10 or 20p. She entirely FILLED the chest with them, and presented it to me on my birthday, along with a (new) VHS of Doctor Dolittle (the old one, with Rex Harrison - not the Eddie Murphy one).
That was it - that was my birthday present. And do you know what? It was fab. I loved reading, and couldn't give a toss that the books were second hand!
Another year for Christmas she got me a second hand old fashioned typewriter, a packet of fancy pencils, and a soft toy. I loved to write - I thought that typewriter was the best thing ever.
I have to admit, in comparison to that I totally do spoil my kids...but it's all perspective. Compared to others they don't get that much. It's all a matter of how you look at it.
If your parents haven't got a great deal of money then £75 is fairly decent. How many siblings do you have? I've got 4 kids, there's no way I'd be buying each of them presents worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds.
When I was younger I never got much for birthdays and Christmas. I remember one birthday my mam bought a huge chest, and all year she went to charity shops and bought me tons and tons of second hand books. Each book was only about 10 or 20p. She entirely FILLED the chest with them, and presented it to me on my birthday, along with a (new) VHS of Doctor Dolittle (the old one, with Rex Harrison - not the Eddie Murphy one).
That was it - that was my birthday present. And do you know what? It was fab. I loved reading, and couldn't give a toss that the books were second hand!
Another year for Christmas she got me a second hand old fashioned typewriter, a packet of fancy pencils, and a soft toy. I loved to write - I thought that typewriter was the best thing ever.
I have to admit, in comparison to that I totally do spoil my kids...but it's all perspective. Compared to others they don't get that much. It's all a matter of how you look at it.
Original post by mxcs
Everyone's family is different - maybe your family places less importance on birthdays? Maybe they think they give you plenty, or do they often take you on days out or give you more than expected for other holidays or events? Do they pay for other things (school, travel, other requirements) that might mean you don't receive as much as you think you should?
I think my parents earn a just-below-average income. I noticed lots of kids at school got large amounts of cash and gifts for getting good grades or a good school report, which I thought was a bit bizarre! My dad and grandmother pay for my car insurance in January each year between them so I can continue to use my car to travel to uni and do errands for my family, so I don't ever expect anything extra for Christmas. We don't really do gifts for birthdays and go out for dinner together instead - some families do days out or give gifts or money instead.
I think my parents earn a just-below-average income. I noticed lots of kids at school got large amounts of cash and gifts for getting good grades or a good school report, which I thought was a bit bizarre! My dad and grandmother pay for my car insurance in January each year between them so I can continue to use my car to travel to uni and do errands for my family, so I don't ever expect anything extra for Christmas. We don't really do gifts for birthdays and go out for dinner together instead - some families do days out or give gifts or money instead.
They pay for your car insurance?? That's what you call lucky haha
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Original post by dead101
I am, I'm very grateful
I depend on my car to get to uni & get out anywhere! I really struggle with uni work due to a condition I have so I'm glad I don't have to get a job in term-time to pay for it.
Original post by Anonymous
I agree, I bought myself an iPod nano a couple of years ago and, admittedly it's not the best piece of tech, but I love it anyway - probably more so than if it had just been handed to me on a plate.
The thing I find frustrating, however, is when conversations go like this:
"What did you get for your birthday?"
"Money"
"How much?"
"£75 from Mum and Dad"
"No you didn't!" or "Is that it?"
The thing I find frustrating, however, is when conversations go like this:
"What did you get for your birthday?"
"Money"
"How much?"
"£75 from Mum and Dad"
"No you didn't!" or "Is that it?"
Erm... What part of London do you live in O_o
Hmm.. Well I never get anything for my B-day other than a bit of Cake to have together as a Family. And I think that you've got very spoiled friends aswell to be taking such a interest as to how much you get. Do you go to a Private School btw..?
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I've never been given as much as my friends have on birthdays/Christmases, but recently the gap has gotten considerably wider, and it's left me wondering whether it's due to my parents being unreasonably tight, or just that all my friends are spoiled.
Admittedly, we as a family are probably one of the poorest at my school (although it is in a somewhat affluent area), with both my parents on less than £19K, whereas my friends' parents are head teachers, small business owners, lawyers, etc.
To make things simpler, this is what I got from just my parents. On my 16th, I got £60. However, iPhones are in and I am now the only (and I mean only) person in my group of friends without one - most got and iPhone 5 for their 16th - for the ones who didn't it was because they already had a good BB/iPhone 4s/4. The year before that, for me, it was £60 again, then £50, and £40 going back. Everyone else was collecting laptops (usually around 13th/14th birthday), a camera (I think most got these for their 15th), kindles, iPads and TVs along the way. I own none of these. There was also a craze of everyone owning a BlackBerry ~2/3 years ago, I've owned the same Samsung for 4 years, and it was only worth about £50 at the time of purchase (I'd bought it myself).
Now, we're all turning 17. I got £75 this year, whereas everyone else that has had a birthday so far has got their usual accessories (money, clothes, perfume etc.) along with driving lessons. One even has a car.
I don't want to seem like I'm just ungrateful, I recognise that there are some people who get less than me, but I don't feel like it would bankrupt my Mum and Dad to be a bit more generous.
What do people think? Are my parents being unfair, or is it just that all my friends have parents who spoil them?
Thank you.
Admittedly, we as a family are probably one of the poorest at my school (although it is in a somewhat affluent area), with both my parents on less than £19K, whereas my friends' parents are head teachers, small business owners, lawyers, etc.
To make things simpler, this is what I got from just my parents. On my 16th, I got £60. However, iPhones are in and I am now the only (and I mean only) person in my group of friends without one - most got and iPhone 5 for their 16th - for the ones who didn't it was because they already had a good BB/iPhone 4s/4. The year before that, for me, it was £60 again, then £50, and £40 going back. Everyone else was collecting laptops (usually around 13th/14th birthday), a camera (I think most got these for their 15th), kindles, iPads and TVs along the way. I own none of these. There was also a craze of everyone owning a BlackBerry ~2/3 years ago, I've owned the same Samsung for 4 years, and it was only worth about £50 at the time of purchase (I'd bought it myself).
Now, we're all turning 17. I got £75 this year, whereas everyone else that has had a birthday so far has got their usual accessories (money, clothes, perfume etc.) along with driving lessons. One even has a car.
I don't want to seem like I'm just ungrateful, I recognise that there are some people who get less than me, but I don't feel like it would bankrupt my Mum and Dad to be a bit more generous.
What do people think? Are my parents being unfair, or is it just that all my friends have parents who spoil them?
Thank you.
OP ure rents arent being unfair. They are trying their best with their income and what they can afford. One of the lessons ive learnt whilst growing up is that do NOT compare yourself to others. People afford differently so be greatful for what your parents can give you. If u want all these gadgets etc... then its down to u to work hard and make a future for yourself so that you can afford all those goodies.
You will thank your rents someday.
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