Aggressive arguments

me and my boyfriend are constantly arguing. However we argue over the smallest things but when we do start getting into the argument he looks at me all evil, swears at me and calls me names like just down he called me a "bastard"; as he dropped me home. Then we argued via text and he called me other offensive stuff, but not as strong as before. Then he rang me apologising for shouting at me, pretended he forgot about shouting the name to me and kept telling me how much he loved me and how different / good our relationship is in comparisonment to his previous'.

What do you guys think of this behaviour? Is this common behaviour between couples? if worries me because i think if he acts like this when we argue over little stupid things, what about when we have something major to argue about!!

Does it hurt you; that is, disproportionate to the (pre-supposed) anguish of being without him?

It does hurt, but I think its more shocking than anything else, as usually he is really quite the opposite. But in relation to the initial question I would say that the good times do outweigh the bad. But still its obv somethin i would prefer to eliminate from the relationship

Relationships can nearly always be resolved to a simple, 'pleasure-pain' dichotomy. Were the most perfect relationship (knowingly) but a conversation away, you'd have no reason to tolerate even the most trifling discrepancy; likewise, if being with him - aggression notwithstanding - makes you happier (and is, in your estimation, healthier) than either being without or the (speculative) prospect of someone nicer but not as yet ascertained, then you'll stay with him.

Sorry; it seems that I'm rapidly receding up my own arse (philosophically-speaking). In any event, one has to question the security (viz. stability) of a relationship where one's counter-part can so easily allow pride and petty egotism to supplant his respect for you as a person. As you have noted, his spite is not only perennial but, it would seem, horrendously over-wrought; furthermore, 'love' is semantically prone to permutation: I 'love' chocolate for being able to consume it with impunity, and your boyfriend can love you comparably for assenting to endure the sort of abuse that no other [previous?] partner would probably endure with like stoicism.

In summation: talk to him. If he values you for your mutually beneficial attributes, and not merely your capacity for forebearance, then he'll be amenable to remedial action.

Ummmm thanks, i like and agree whole-heartedly with the bolded. I probably would had said the same for the others but this was the easiest to understand

Basically: one may love to consume chocolate; your boyfriend, likewise, may 'love' to 'consume' you. However, you (unlike chocolate, I suspect) are sentient with equivalent needs which must be taken into account in order for the relationship [the pleasure and satisfaction that you derive from one another, reciprocally] to remain constructive and benign; and, familiar though his professed sentiment [love] may read ostensibly, the ramifications of that in practice can still suggest 'consumption' - exploitation - on his part.

Talk it over with him: if he's genuinely receptive to improvement, it augurs better for your relationship (not to mention, his moral character) than otherwise, and perhaps rules out the possibility that his 'love' will yet prove destructive in nature.

Really, the pleasure is all mine.

hmmm ok thanks...

btw do you talk like this in real life?