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abusive parents

Anonymous #1

If your parents were treating you really badly, would you leave home, even if it meant never seeing them again?

Reply 1

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

Yep. I did but things really improved with the distance between us and now we can tolerate each other for the most part.

Reply 2

Schmokie Dragon

17

It depends on many factors; how bad is the abuse, is it emotional or physical, how old are you, could you manage on your own or do you need their support, do you have/can you get a job etc etc

However, I would say that if they are hurting you (i.e, physical or sexual abuse) then you need to get out and get the police involved... but be careful how you define abuse - I knew a girl who got slapped by her mother for being a little bitch (which she was) and she got the police involved. The girl was not under threat (she was taller and stronger then her mother) and it only happened once and her mother was a lovely, and very reasonable woman. So the family wnt through a lot just because darling Steffi get the hump over a well earned slap.

Reply 3

1013

1

If you can support yourself and you honestly feel that life would be better, then do it. It may salvage your relationship with your parents as opposed to driving you apart. If you do go, sit down beforehand and explain to your parents why you feel you have to do this. It would be best if they understand what they have done to make you move and maybe you can start working on your relationship from there.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I know i wish i could :frown:

If you can afford to, then definately do it. If not, then try and find a way to, staying longer will only make things worse

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

its just apart from the abuse, my parents are asian muslim, and leaving home before marriage is a big no no. also i know that they would never ever talk to me ever again, id never be able to see them.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

If they are abusive, its in your best interests not to see them again, i would think.

I know it is a hard thing to think of, but you have to decide what is more important to you, being able to talk to or see your parents, or being free from abuse.

Reply 7

samba

6

Define "Abuse"

I left home at 16, and can honestly say that if I'd have stayed about 6 months longer I could have easily turned into a serial murderer or serious violent/sexual offender.

But, define "abuse" please.

Reply 8

littlemissalex

13

yeah define 'abuse'..

Reply 9

Clarence

14

I'd happily move away from my dad and never see him again, but, that would really upset my sister and my mum so i've had to endure his abuse for years but...what...september is a matter of weeks away so London - Glasgow is kind of far!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

well, hitting me, telling me ive ruined everyones lives, its mainly my mum. but then again when things r ok, theyre ok, but wen their not their terrible. im scared leaving would tear the family up even more. ive been taking it for nearly all my life. im 20 now, whats the point in leaving now.

Reply 11

Anthonyjm71

9

1013

If you can support yourself and you honestly feel that life would be better, then do it. It may salvage your relationship with your parents as opposed to driving you apart. If you do go, sit down beforehand and explain to your parents why you feel you have to do this. It would be best if they understand what they have done to make you move and maybe you can start working on your relationship from there.

I agree true.

yes yes yes

Anonymous

well, hitting me, telling me ive ruined everyones lives, its mainly my mum. but then again when things r ok, theyre ok, but wen their not their terrible. im scared leaving would tear the family up even more. ive been taking it for nearly all my life. im 20 now, whats the point in leaving now.

Have you tried speaking to your parents? Or perhaps improving yourself. Have you done anything wrong that may have upset them?

Reply 14

sweetface.

I would, but it depends on the situation. I can't just get up and leave! Without no money for a flat somplace, let alone money for bills. I still need a job before i get up and leave :frown:

Reply 15

Lush Law

15

I can't believe your parents still hit you at 20.

I'd bloody well **** them back if they hit me.

Reply 16

Pseudomuse

1

yes. my parents were'nt that bad, but they did try to dictate to me what to do with my life. so i was determined to move into the uni halls, even though i go to portsmouth and i live in portsmouth anyway. anyway movingout did the world of good and my parents now respect me and realise that when i'm determined to do something i'll do it.

sorry i don't know if this is completly relevant, but you get the point!

Reply 17

Pseudomuse

1

Anonymous

well, hitting me, telling me ive ruined everyones lives, its mainly my mum. but then again when things r ok, theyre ok, but wen their not their terrible. im scared leaving would tear the family up even more. ive been taking it for nearly all my life. im 20 now, whats the point in leaving now.