would you be ok with your spouse working part time?

Poll

would you be fine with your spouse working part time?

if you were married and had kids would you be ok with your wife/husband working part time and making a lot less than you. you'd be working 40-50 hours/week and making average wage, the combined income would be enough to cover expenses and have a normal life by western standards .

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Reply 1

LolaLowe

of course, running a home and taking care of children is a full time job on its own. If the party working part time also took more responsibility for cooking, cleaning, laundry etc then that seems equitable, either that or you both work 40-50 hours and still have all of those things to do between you when you get home.

Reply 2

mahyerye

I wouldn't. But it depends on circumstances. If it's temporary, then I might agree.
But again, it depends on every person's point of view. Maybe at the moment it won't affect us, but in time our relationship would definitely change... I would get frustrated.

Reply 3

DeceitfulDove

Yes. All of my friends who have recently had children work part time while their partner does fulltime. In one of the couples my friend Sarah works fulltime as her boyfriend has just lost his job. I don't personally know any couple with young children who both work fulltime. I am a uni student and my boyfriend does crazy hours, it doesn't cause hassle for us because we have hardly anything to stress about. I study during the day and he comes home at 8, we have a meal that we cook together and go to bed. Love the simple life.

Reply 4

mimi112

Original post by mahyerye

why would you get frustrated? 2/3 of mothers in UK either stay at home or work pt. isn't it the same if the man stays at home or does pt?

Reply 5

mimi112

Original post by JennaEmBee

the question was would you as a woman (in your case) be fine with your husband working pt while you work 40+ hrs/week? and indefinitely, not situational .

Reply 6

Dragonfly07

If he was good at taking care of the house I would be more than happy.

Reply 7

mahyerye

Original post by mimi112

why would you get frustrated? 2/3 of mothers in UK either stay at home or work pt. isn't it the same if the man stays at home or does pt?

The belief shared by most people is that in a marriage men should earn more or at least the same as women. I'm a bit conservative when it comes to this. Maybe you'd say that the public opinion it doesn't matter because only the 2 of you are in this relationship. That could be true in a world where no one judges you. The person who makes more money will feel superior and this might bring damages to a relationship where everybody should be equal.
Just to be clear, I'm a female.

But you know better... If you are open to each other and you think you could overcome all the problems and prejudicies, feel free to live your life the way you want to :smile:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 8

Lotus_Eater

I think it can be unhelpful to conceive of paid employment as the main contribution to a household/family. I wouldn't be particularly pro or anti any particular outcome but I would hope that the process by which we arrived at childcare/employment/domestic matters was through prior discussion.

This question underlines the importance of shared values in a long-term relationship. My fiancée and I aren't particularly into holidays or owning our own home but we are both career driven. The careers that we will eventually pursue are definitely ones for people with a passion rather than ones that are well remunerated. Consequently, the vision we both share for our future lives doesn't depend on having a lot of money. So one of us working part-time wouldn't be particularly problematic, but what's crucial is that we'd both agree on that.

Reply 9

DeceitfulDove

Original post by mimi112

the question was would you as a woman (in your case) be fine with your husband working pt while you work 40+ hrs/week? and indefinitely, not situational .

If we had children, yes, if not, not if theres a choice. Obviously if all he can get is pt then thats fine, but whilst we have no mortgage/ children, we want to make the most of holidays etc so making the choice to work less hours would pee me off.

Reply 10

mimi112

Original post by mahyerye

but look at the women in this thread, they're fine with it. you're the only one to hold that opinion. yet numbers irl tell us a different story: the number of wives who work part time or stay at home is much, much higher especially when both make the choice and it's not a temporary situation where one lost the job or economy is bad. so what's going on here?

Reply 11

Blazinq

Depends what the job and pay of the job was, and how much I was on, realistically.

Reply 12

ChocoCoatedLemons

Original post by mimi112

I have no intentions of working part time, so if anyone was going to it'd have to be a future husband. I wouldn't want him to do that indefinitely though, if he's hypothetically going to, I'd only want it for as long as the children were very young. Once they were in school, I see no reason why we shouldn't both be working full time. That's why child-minders and after school clubs were invented.

Reply 13

mimi112

Original post by Foo.mp3

Sure, why not? :dontknow:

tru dat. looks like the females in the thread also agree, except 1. so why isn't this reflected irl?

Reply 14

mahyerye

Original post by mimi112

I don't know what are you trying to prove. It's not like me being against this idea will affect you somehow. And I won't change my principles.
Someone said ''If you work pt, you can take care of children and do the housework''. I don't think a child should spend more time with one parent and less with the other one. And you can do the housework even if you both work 12 h/day.

If it's not temporary and it's a choice to work pt, then I'm even more against it. I don't want to offend anyone, it's just my humble opinion: I think it's cowardice. And I wouldn't stay in a relationship with a man who decides to live in my shadow.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 15

Ladyliesel

I wouldn't mind my partner working part-time as long as they pulled their weight in other areas e.g. taking on the upkeep of the house or doing more for the children.

Reply 16

ForgetMe

Better working than watching TV all day long.

Reply 17

theoferdinand

Sorry my woman wouldn't be allowed to work atall be it full time or part time .
She will be a virgin girl from west africa who will cook,clean,and worship me . And will feel privileged to be my wife and she will bear my many seeds

Reply 18

Alfissti

Original post by mimi112

When my missus and me moved in together both of us had part time jobs except in the holidays when I had a full time job. It was never an issue.

After I graduated and started working fulltime she was supposed to start her studies but it didn't happen and she also stopped working part time as my job required me to be offshore and that meant she had to look after our 2 kids without me around.

After that I had a posting to Singapore, she followed and was a fulltime housewife as she doesn't have any qualifications, however we had a small shop that sold products from Scandinavian countries primarily for expatriates from those countries in Singapore. We also had an e-shop which I had her manage.

Today, she works part time at one of the businesses I own. She is happy with the arrangement and I couldn't be happier.

Reply 19

doodle_333

Original post by JennaEmBee

this ^^^
if I had children I would want one of us to be at home at least some of the day while they were young, but I don't think that should necessarily be me as a woman, but I wouldn't be content with a partner working part time if it meant he brought much less money than me in if he COULD get a full time job