Have you ever completely cut someone out of your life?
And why? How did it make you feel? I am now in a situation where I feel I could potentially do this to 2 people. An ex who I am still in contact with despite years of wanting to cut ties and a friend of mine. But I just don't know how to go about it? I just don't have it in me to do it but if I start explaining and saying my goodbyes I fear I will be persuaded into keeping them in my lives and I just don't want to 
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Original post by brightcitylights
And why? How did it make you feel? I am now in a situation where I feel I could potentially do this to 2 people. An ex who I am still in contact with despite years of wanting to cut ties and a friend of mine. But I just don't know how to go about it? I just don't have it in me to do it but if I start explaining and saying my goodbyes I fear I will be persuaded into keeping them in my lives and I just don't want to
I'm in the same position with a friend of mine I've known for about 2 years now. All I've done right now is lessen the contact to the point where we rarely speak. I find it hard to completely block someone just in case they ever needed me, but at the same time I feel the friendship isn't good for me so I made it clear to that person. I felt sad at first but after a while I felt good that I'd confronted the situation and my feelings.
But I still get those random texts sometimes that doesn't really help the situation.
I once abruptly had all ties cut with a girlfriend I was with for 2 years, not by my choice, and it was the most difficult thing I had ever went through. Had months of depression, tears and anger that I didn't think would go away.
Fast forward another few months, who was I crying about again??
Just do it if you feel like you need to, it will be difficult as hell to deal with for the first little while but honestly before you even realise how long has passed you'll be completely over it and you won't feel that urge to have them constantly in your life or the fear of losing out on something important.
Do what's right for you
Fast forward another few months, who was I crying about again??
Just do it if you feel like you need to, it will be difficult as hell to deal with for the first little while but honestly before you even realise how long has passed you'll be completely over it and you won't feel that urge to have them constantly in your life or the fear of losing out on something important.
Do what's right for you
Yes if people take the piss cut them off. Don't even explain your goodbyes just do it already .
I blanked my ex, she still contacts me now even though she's got a new BF lol, smh.
.I blanked my ex, she still contacts me now even though she's got a new BF lol, smh.
Yup. Had two best mates, a boy and a girl, they started going out together, I eventually ended up falling in love with her, she showed interest in me and I didn't want to do anything regrettable, so I cut her completely out of my life, like if I had never known her in the first place. I felt bad, she felt bad, specially considering she didn't know why from one day to another I stopped talking to her (I was sort of a prick back then) but it had to be done. I still regret it here and now, but thank god we became friends again and everything is all right.
It's a sort of mixed feeling, you obviously feel bad as you just stopped having a relationship with someone and you sense that empty hole they leave in your life but you also feel proud of yourself for having the courage to do what you had to do.
I don't know what drives you to thinking about that, but I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary.
It's a sort of mixed feeling, you obviously feel bad as you just stopped having a relationship with someone and you sense that empty hole they leave in your life but you also feel proud of yourself for having the courage to do what you had to do.
I don't know what drives you to thinking about that, but I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary.
Did to a friendzoner and she kept calling me after haha.
Do it. Cut em out.
Be the easiest friend to make and have, but the easiest friend to lose.
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Do it. Cut em out.
Be the easiest friend to make and have, but the easiest friend to lose.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Yes. He wouldn't leave me alone, claimed he's obsessed with me, claimed his behaviour was normal and that I must be a **** friend because I don't want contact 24/7.
He was then blocked on Facebook and got kicked out of a local support group because of his behaviour towards me and a few others. He then made a few more Facebook profiles and kept trying to add me as a friend. He eventually took the hint that I don't want to be friends 4 months later.
Can't say I miss him.
He was then blocked on Facebook and got kicked out of a local support group because of his behaviour towards me and a few others. He then made a few more Facebook profiles and kept trying to add me as a friend. He eventually took the hint that I don't want to be friends 4 months later.
Can't say I miss him.
Yes did this to a "friend" who'd make nasty comments about my family, put me down a lot and caused a lot of trouble for me about three years ago. I deleted and blocked her number from my mobile and blocked her on facebook so she had no way of contacting me. It felt great. She actually tried to add me on facebook on a new account she'd made a few months back, I blocked that to.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 10 years ago)
Yes I done this with my dad and his side of the family because they are nothing but trouble and who never really cared about anyone but themselves. I have also had to do it with a few 'friends' too. The one that was hardest for me was a guy I was friends with for 7 years. This is pretty much the low down (I have spoke about it before on here on a similar thread previously) -
I was best friends with a guy for nearly 7 years and we had been through a lot together and were close all through secondry school. Everything was going good until I got introduced to a guy he knew in his computing class (who is now my partner). We were all 17 at that point. Ever since his friend started showing an interest in me and we got close, my friend suddenly got mega clingy and would try and do things like kiss me on the lips and say it was purely just friendly. I didn't think too much of it as it was just a peck on the lips and we were mega close any way and wasn't sexual at all for me. It was like the way I kiss my gran.
So after a few weeks of talking and hanging out, me and his friend started to go out. After dating about two months, we decided it was the time to have sex for the first time. As things go, yeah first time was a disaster! Naturally, I wanted to tell my best friend about it. So pretty much after it happened, I met up with him and gave him all the juicy gossip and instead of being like "omg!", he roared "wtf you stupid slut!" and pinned me up against the wall and slapped and punched me and said he thought better of me than that and was going to tell my mum and that she would probably disown me. Protection was used and I made sure I made that clear when I first started talking to him about it. He didn't believe me. So he actually went over to my boyfriend's (they stayed a few mins away from each other) and went through the bins and when he couldn't find it (was in the bin bag that had just been put out in the wheelie bin so his parents would never see it) he slapped me again and called me a liar and him and my boyfriend got into a big fight.
We didn't talk for a few weeks. I did miss him. We had some great times together before he done that and he was like a brother to me. I decided to meet up and talk to him about it. At first he was "oh I'm really sorry. I dunno what happened" but as soon as I started to tell him how angry and hurt it made me, he went all defensive and started crap again so I said I had had enough and his chance was gone and he had the cheek to say to me "I can't believe you have threw away all these years of friendship!". I nearly choked when he said that. I told him to never speak to me again after that.
It was hard to not text him and talk to him but its been about 4 years now and cutting him out of my life totally was the best thing I could have done. I was heartbroken for ages over it all but it had to be done and I just hope he doesn't treat other people like the way he treated me.
I was best friends with a guy for nearly 7 years and we had been through a lot together and were close all through secondry school. Everything was going good until I got introduced to a guy he knew in his computing class (who is now my partner). We were all 17 at that point. Ever since his friend started showing an interest in me and we got close, my friend suddenly got mega clingy and would try and do things like kiss me on the lips and say it was purely just friendly. I didn't think too much of it as it was just a peck on the lips and we were mega close any way and wasn't sexual at all for me. It was like the way I kiss my gran.
So after a few weeks of talking and hanging out, me and his friend started to go out. After dating about two months, we decided it was the time to have sex for the first time. As things go, yeah first time was a disaster! Naturally, I wanted to tell my best friend about it. So pretty much after it happened, I met up with him and gave him all the juicy gossip and instead of being like "omg!", he roared "wtf you stupid slut!" and pinned me up against the wall and slapped and punched me and said he thought better of me than that and was going to tell my mum and that she would probably disown me. Protection was used and I made sure I made that clear when I first started talking to him about it. He didn't believe me. So he actually went over to my boyfriend's (they stayed a few mins away from each other) and went through the bins and when he couldn't find it (was in the bin bag that had just been put out in the wheelie bin so his parents would never see it) he slapped me again and called me a liar and him and my boyfriend got into a big fight.
We didn't talk for a few weeks. I did miss him. We had some great times together before he done that and he was like a brother to me. I decided to meet up and talk to him about it. At first he was "oh I'm really sorry. I dunno what happened" but as soon as I started to tell him how angry and hurt it made me, he went all defensive and started crap again so I said I had had enough and his chance was gone and he had the cheek to say to me "I can't believe you have threw away all these years of friendship!". I nearly choked when he said that. I told him to never speak to me again after that.
It was hard to not text him and talk to him but its been about 4 years now and cutting him out of my life totally was the best thing I could have done. I was heartbroken for ages over it all but it had to be done and I just hope he doesn't treat other people like the way he treated me.
Yep, so many people. Far too many people, in fact.
With most people, I cut them out for their own good -- I'm someone who constantly changes: in Winter I could be one identity, but by the time Summer comes, I'd have adopted a completely different identity. Some of my closest friends still make comments (or, imo, compliments
) like "Vixen, you never fail to surprise me. I've known you for 10 years yet still I feel like I have no idea who you are". That's something I've been told recently. I dunno. I guess it's just easier to let people go than drag them around with my ever-changing, chameleonic self. Good lord, this explains so much. 
Just the other day I ran into one of my closest friends from secondary school who I hadn't spoken to since secondary school. Her jaw dropped to the ground when she saw me and throughout our 5 minute conversation it was like she couldn't pick it up again. 
When we started college (we went to different ones) I knew I had to let her go because I wasn't worth her effort. Another one is my ex -- I realised faster than I should have that our relationship wasn't going to workout so I just gave up trying to make it work and let him go by cutting him out because I knew he'd be happier. 
How does it make me feel? It doesn't. It's just the person I've taught myself to become. I'm not the kind of person who will strive to make you her friend -- with me, you choose if you want to get to know me. If you like me and you can handle me then you're more than welcome to stick around, if you want to leave then you're more than welcome to leave. I refuse to let it faze me because it's just not worth the energy -- people come and go, the faster you get used the fact, the easier it is to handle when someone pretty significant goes.
I remember during one my Psychology classes in college someone asked me something about myself and I replied saying something like "I don't have any real friends, I just float around" and everyone gave me that "NOW THAT MAKES SENSE!" look. It has always been the person I am -- I've never placed too much emphasis on relationships because I constantly see that in the end everyone leaves so there's no point in me striving to keep them around forever.
There are times where I have to cut people out to keep my sanity. These people are those who make relationships too complicated and I know I'd rather use my energy on something more important than keeping them around.
I mean, I've experienced so much since I was a kid that I've just given up on people -- if they want to stick around me then they had better be no nonsense because I'm incapable of taking bull**** from anyone. It's probably the reason I choose to be a loner and most probably the reason I find it so easy to cut people out.
On the the other hand, my family are probably the only people who I strive to not cut out. Around this time last year I almost cut them out completely but then **** hit the fan and months and months later I realised that they're the only people in the world who my sanity really needs because when they notice that I'm going through some kind of a crisis they remind me to "get a grip and move on" because **** will hit the fan more times than we can count, and so long as the fan keeps spinning, this **** isn't worth crying over. In other words: life will put you through bull**** all the time, the best you can do is deal with it and/or move on.
With most people, I cut them out for their own good -- I'm someone who constantly changes: in Winter I could be one identity, but by the time Summer comes, I'd have adopted a completely different identity. Some of my closest friends still make comments (or, imo, compliments
) like "Vixen, you never fail to surprise me. I've known you for 10 years yet still I feel like I have no idea who you are". That's something I've been told recently. I dunno. I guess it's just easier to let people go than drag them around with my ever-changing, chameleonic self. Good lord, this explains so much. Just the other day I ran into one of my closest friends from secondary school who I hadn't spoken to since secondary school. Her jaw dropped to the ground when she saw me and throughout our 5 minute conversation it was like she couldn't pick it up again. When we started college (we went to different ones) I knew I had to let her go because I wasn't worth her effort. Another one is my ex -- I realised faster than I should have that our relationship wasn't going to workout so I just gave up trying to make it work and let him go by cutting him out because I knew he'd be happier. How does it make me feel? It doesn't. It's just the person I've taught myself to become. I'm not the kind of person who will strive to make you her friend -- with me, you choose if you want to get to know me. If you like me and you can handle me then you're more than welcome to stick around, if you want to leave then you're more than welcome to leave. I refuse to let it faze me because it's just not worth the energy -- people come and go, the faster you get used the fact, the easier it is to handle when someone pretty significant goes.
I remember during one my Psychology classes in college someone asked me something about myself and I replied saying something like "I don't have any real friends, I just float around" and everyone gave me that "NOW THAT MAKES SENSE!" look. It has always been the person I am -- I've never placed too much emphasis on relationships because I constantly see that in the end everyone leaves so there's no point in me striving to keep them around forever.
There are times where I have to cut people out to keep my sanity. These people are those who make relationships too complicated and I know I'd rather use my energy on something more important than keeping them around.
I mean, I've experienced so much since I was a kid that I've just given up on people -- if they want to stick around me then they had better be no nonsense because I'm incapable of taking bull**** from anyone. It's probably the reason I choose to be a loner and most probably the reason I find it so easy to cut people out.
On the the other hand, my family are probably the only people who I strive to not cut out. Around this time last year I almost cut them out completely but then **** hit the fan and months and months later I realised that they're the only people in the world who my sanity really needs because when they notice that I'm going through some kind of a crisis they remind me to "get a grip and move on" because **** will hit the fan more times than we can count, and so long as the fan keeps spinning, this **** isn't worth crying over. In other words: life will put you through bull**** all the time, the best you can do is deal with it and/or move on.
Sort of. After my "friends" tried to dump me at school, I just started pretending they didn't exist.
In the process of doing so
Some kid I know was very friendly initially and seemed a nice kid. Then I started hearing bad things about him eg. he thinks with his dick etc and I was shocked.
Over the course of time I have found him to be manipulative, lying, arrogant,vain, selfish, parasitical, callous, self-centred,haughty and back-stabbing amongst other things.
His only goal is to gain attention through whatever means and because of this, he'll quite easily ditch you for a new random girl or a "cool" friend. He has no friends in the truest sense because his goal is to find a use for people and exploit them. If he's being 'nice' believe me it's for leverage later on when he wants something from you.
He always claims some sort of superiority over others (mostly to do with getting girls or his muscles) and lacks the ability to put himself in another person's shoes. One would say that he acts evil, while psychiatrists might diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I've actually done research on this condition, I've come to the definite conclusion that this "friend" is most definitely a narcissist and I'm going to have to cut him out slowly although it's not completely possible when he goes to the same uni as myself.
He's probably one of the only people I know who if they die, I would feel nothing because they have showed nothing to me which shows they genuinely care about other people without any ulterior motive.
Some kid I know was very friendly initially and seemed a nice kid. Then I started hearing bad things about him eg. he thinks with his dick etc and I was shocked.
Over the course of time I have found him to be manipulative, lying, arrogant,vain, selfish, parasitical, callous, self-centred,haughty and back-stabbing amongst other things.
His only goal is to gain attention through whatever means and because of this, he'll quite easily ditch you for a new random girl or a "cool" friend. He has no friends in the truest sense because his goal is to find a use for people and exploit them. If he's being 'nice' believe me it's for leverage later on when he wants something from you.
He always claims some sort of superiority over others (mostly to do with getting girls or his muscles) and lacks the ability to put himself in another person's shoes. One would say that he acts evil, while psychiatrists might diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I've actually done research on this condition, I've come to the definite conclusion that this "friend" is most definitely a narcissist and I'm going to have to cut him out slowly although it's not completely possible when he goes to the same uni as myself.
He's probably one of the only people I know who if they die, I would feel nothing because they have showed nothing to me which shows they genuinely care about other people without any ulterior motive.
Original post by 9MmBulletz
In the process of doing so
Some kid I know was very friendly initially and seemed a nice kid. Then I started hearing bad things about him eg. he thinks with his dick etc and I was shocked.
Over the course of time I have found him to be manipulative, lying, arrogant,vain, selfish, parasitical, callous, self-centred,haughty and back-stabbing amongst other things.
His only goal is to gain attention through whatever means and because of this, he'll quite easily ditch you for a new random girl or a "cool" friend. He has no friends in the truest sense because his goal is to find a use for people and exploit them. If he's being 'nice' believe me it's for leverage later on when he wants something from you.
He always claims some sort of superiority over others (mostly to do with getting girls or his muscles) and lacks the ability to put himself in another person's shoes. One would say that he acts evil, while psychiatrists might diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I've actually done research on this condition, I've come to the definite conclusion that this "friend" is most definitely a narcissist and I'm going to have to cut him out slowly although it's not completely possible when he goes to the same uni as myself.
He's probably one of the only people I know who if they die, I would feel nothing because they have showed nothing to me which shows they genuinely care about other people without any ulterior motive.
Some kid I know was very friendly initially and seemed a nice kid. Then I started hearing bad things about him eg. he thinks with his dick etc and I was shocked.
Over the course of time I have found him to be manipulative, lying, arrogant,vain, selfish, parasitical, callous, self-centred,haughty and back-stabbing amongst other things.
His only goal is to gain attention through whatever means and because of this, he'll quite easily ditch you for a new random girl or a "cool" friend. He has no friends in the truest sense because his goal is to find a use for people and exploit them. If he's being 'nice' believe me it's for leverage later on when he wants something from you.
He always claims some sort of superiority over others (mostly to do with getting girls or his muscles) and lacks the ability to put himself in another person's shoes. One would say that he acts evil, while psychiatrists might diagnose him with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. As I've actually done research on this condition, I've come to the definite conclusion that this "friend" is most definitely a narcissist and I'm going to have to cut him out slowly although it's not completely possible when he goes to the same uni as myself.
He's probably one of the only people I know who if they die, I would feel nothing because they have showed nothing to me which shows they genuinely care about other people without any ulterior motive.
Sounds like a bit of a user.
Original post by OU Student
Yes. He wouldn't leave me alone, claimed he's obsessed with me, claimed his behaviour was normal and that I must be a **** friend because I don't want contact 24/7.
He was then blocked on Facebook and got kicked out of a local support group because of his behaviour towards me and a few others. He then made a few more Facebook profiles and kept trying to add me as a friend. He eventually took the hint that I don't want to be friends 4 months later.
Can't say I miss him.
He was then blocked on Facebook and got kicked out of a local support group because of his behaviour towards me and a few others. He then made a few more Facebook profiles and kept trying to add me as a friend. He eventually took the hint that I don't want to be friends 4 months later.
Can't say I miss him.
4 months, wow. He sounds persistent. And a bit mental.
Original post by brightcitylights
4 months, wow. He sounds persistent. And a bit mental.
According to the police, (I just had a chat with them) his behaviour is ok because he's Autistic, therefore doesn't know what he's doing.
He bloody well knew what he was doing. He went as far to blame me for this. My only crime was not telling him sooner to piss off.Would love to cut a few more people out of my life. But that would mean changing running clubs.
I have numerous times. Certain people are poison. I didn't say goodbye but stopped contacting them. It can be difficult if you were previously close but you can fill the gap with other people and new distractions. It gets easier with time.
Original post by brightcitylights
Sounds like a bit of a user.
You could say that although that's not even covering much of his psychological profile. Good thing is that now I've met him I know what to look for to avoid these people.
my parents. I just stopped communicating with them
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Been trying to cut my abuser out of my life for quite a while now. Not been very successful thus far 
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